Category Archives: Addiction

What’s The Core Of My Story?

The core of my story is how I realized I was addicted to certain kinds of unhealthy relationships, certain kinds of unhealthy fantasies, and how I discovered in five minutes of therapy last April that my fantasies were not only … Continue reading

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The Popular Image Of 12-Step Programs

In her 1997 book Twelve Step Programs: A Contemporary American Quest for Meaning and Spiritual Renewal, Ann Marie Minnick writes: “…the popular image of Twelve Step Programs as addiction-centered, victim-producing, and narcissism-generating”… That has not been my experience of such … Continue reading

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My Greatest Fears And Desires

My greatest fear is drowning. Not being able to breathe. My greatest desire is sexual oblivion. Losing myself completely in union with another person. Release. Drained. Sated. Free from my incessant longing. My greatest fear is heaviness. My greatest desire … Continue reading

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Who Do I Resent?

The Fourth Step of the 12-steps is to “make a complete and fearless moral inventory.” A key part of this step is to list everybody and everything you resent and then look at each item on your list and see … Continue reading

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Where Attention Goes, Energy Flows

Where passion leads, eloquence follows. I’m doing a lot of public speaking these days, not just in shul, but in 12-step meetings. When I stand, I pause before I deliver, making sure I’m coming from my highest purpose. Not my … Continue reading

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The Four Key Beliefs Of The Addict

Hi, I’m Luke and I’m an addict to the highs I get from sex and love. I identify with these four key beliefs of the addict as articulated by Patrick Carnes: * I am bad. * If people knew who … Continue reading

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How Come You Never See A Hispanic Panhandler?

How come you never see Latinos or Asians begging for money on the streets? Do these groups have less mental illness and crippling addiction than the norm? Or do these groups simply take better care of their own? When I … Continue reading

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I Want To Make Amends

For my own sanity, I need to make amends to the people I’ve hurt, so long as making the amends doesn’t inflict further hurt. I’m working the Fourth Step now, “making a complete and fearless moral inventory.” Actually making amends … Continue reading

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What Creates A Sex Addict?

I was struck by these few sentences by Patrick Carnes in his groundbreaking book on sexual addiction called “Out of the Shadows“: Addicts report that as children they felt desperately lonely, lost, and unprotected. Not only was there a lack … Continue reading

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I Love The 12-Step Share

I’ve been going to 12-step groups for the past 18 months to find recovery from my emotional addictions. An integral part of meetings is the “share.” Many meetings will have a lead speaker who’ll give a share from 8-15 minutes … Continue reading

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