Category Archives: Personal

‘How Could He Have Gotten With That Cow?’

Posted on August 21, 2009 by Luke Ford

She was sick about her boyfriend’s taste in women. "How could he have ever gotten with that cow? Those big fat legs. Eww!" She proceeded to rip to shreds the looks of a 40-plus woman who on my scale was … Continue reading →

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Not Allowed To Leave The House

Posted on August 21, 2009 by Luke Ford

Walking to the library late yesterday afternoon, I overheard some boys talking to each other. "I’m only in fourth grade," said one, "and I’m not allowed to leave the house, yet I know my way around this city." He’s not … Continue reading →

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The Uninvited

Posted on August 21, 2009 by Luke Ford

"You should call your memoir ‘The Uninvited’," his therapist had said. That came back to him early Friday morning as he tossed and turned on his bed by the toilet. Oy, the shame! He’d signed up August 15 for the … Continue reading →

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I Know Where I Am Getting Married

Posted on August 19, 2009 by Luke Ford

Last night at dinner at Delice Bistro, a macher in the community offered me the backyard of his beautiful Beverlywood home to get married in. Perfect! Now all I need is a wife. Minor detail.

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Catfight!

Posted on August 18, 2009 by Luke Ford

The other day, I was out on the town with the babes. My friend Jane* is a hottie. And a brain. We’ve never crossed the line. She’s a great girl but she’s nuts. Crazy jealous. Neurotic. So I want to … Continue reading →

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