Luke Ford

Sam Vaknin: To the narcissist, the internet is an alluring playground and hunting ground. It is a gathering place for numerous potential sources for narcissistic supply. It is beyond the strictures of civilized conduct. It’s true paradise.

Narcissists end up at the instantly gratifying epicenter of a cult of fans, stalkers, erotomaniacs and nuts. The quasi-celebrity feed the grandiose fantasies of the narcissist.

Narcissists are prone to internet addiction.

He is not keen on expanding his horizons, developing real relationships. He filters everything through his narrow lens of addiction to narcissistic supply. He values people depending on how useful they can be sources of narcissistic supply.

The narcissist will either try to monopolize a discussion or, if failing that, disrupt a discussion.

But the internet may be the closest the narcissist gets to psychodynamic therapy. By interacting with these unpredictable entities, the narcissist is compelled to project on to others his own experiences and hopes. He uses other people to look in the mirror and be reflective. Transference and counter-transference are common.

The therapeutic process is set in motion by the brutally honest reactions to the narcissist’s repertory. People give feedback to the narcissist when he parades his delusions. No matter how painful this feedback, it provokes the narcissist into thinking, it gives him insight. The narcissist is not accustomed to such resistance.

Some narcissists confine themselves to the company of adoring sycophants, but a long exposure to the culture of the net, which is irreverent, usually exerts a beneficial effect on the staunchest narcissist. Some narcissists mellow and begin to listen to others.

Sam Vaknin: Narcissists (about 1% of the population) are concentrated in certain professions, in teaching, clergy, show business, management, medicine, military, law enforcement, politics, sports…

Narcissists are addicted to a drug called narcissistic supply. They seek attention, adulation, affirmation, applause, obedience, notoriety, being feared. They need this input to regulate their sense of self-worth, to build their self-confidence.

Narcissists seek to interact with people from a position of advantage. The cerebral narcissist is likely to emphasize intellectual prowess and accomplishment, whether real or imaginary, to solicit supply from awestruck students, voters, patients…

Narcissists seek to create the pathological narcissistic space… They navigate towards certain professions to create spaces where they are divine figures and have a coterie of fans.

Narcissists are liars. They misrepresent their credentials, knowledge, talents, achievements. The narcissist doctor would rather let his patients die than expose his mistakes. The narcissistic therapist often traumatizes his clients with his acting out. Narcissistic businessmen ruin their firms, and often engage in scams.

The narcissist’s relationship with his sychophants is often abusive. He perceives others as objects, mere instruments of gratification. He treats them as dispensable and interchangeable instruments. Being an addict, he seeks an ever larger dose of narcissistic supply, gradually losing what is left of his moral constraints.

When the narcissist’s sources become wary, amused, bored, by his excessive dependence and antics, when they get frightened by his OCD behaviors, when his acolytes leave him, the narcissist resorts to emotional blackmail, distortion, criminal conduct, or he discards the people he cherished a short while before.

Narcissists don’t know how to collaborate and to accept their place. They’re not deterred by possible punishment. They have a sense of entitlement and superiority.

Sam Vaknin: God is everything the narcissist ever wants to be — omnipotent, omniscent, omnipresent, admired, much discussed, and awe inspiring. God is the narcissist’s wet dream, his ultimate fantasy.

The narcissist idealizes and devalues authority figures. What greater authority figure is there than God? In the idealization phase, the narcissist tries to imitate authority figures. They cannot go wrong. The narcissist regards these authority figures as bigger than life, bold, brilliant, perfect… As the narcissist’s unrealistic expectations are inevitably deflated by reality, he begins to devalue his former idols. They are dumb, mediocre… The narcissist goes through the same cycle with his relationship with God…

Even when devaluation, disillusionment, and iconoclastic despair sets in, the narcissist continues to pretend to love God and to follow him. The narcissist maintains this deception because his continued adherence to God, proximity to God, confers on the narcissist authority… Clergy, politicians, intellectuals, all derive authority from their allegedly privileged relationship with God. Religious authority allows the narcissist to indulge his sadistic urges and to exercise his misogyny. Such a narcissist is likely to torment his followers, abuse them… He is looking for obedient and unquestioning slaves upon whom to exercise his capricious and wicked urges. He transforms innocent religious rituals into a cult. He preys on the gullible. His flock become his hostages. Religious authority secures for him narcissistic supply. He craves attention, adulation, affirmation, applause. His co-religionists, his audience, are transformed into a source of narcissistic supply. They obey his commands given in the name of God. They admire him because he’s close to God.

The bigger the narcissist’s enemy, the more grandiosely important the narcissist feels.

The narcissist forms a relationship with this overpowering entity to overpower others. The narcissist becomes God vicariously through his relationship with Him. He idealizes God, devalues God, and then abuses God. This is the classic narcissistic pattern.