Tag Archives: fingers

If I’m Stroking My Beard, I’m Probably Lying

Posted on April 27, 2009 by Luke Ford

I find myself — when I am saying things I do not mean — stroking my beard excessively. This habit has grown to the point where I almost can’t lie unless I pull on my beard. How on earth did … Continue reading →

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I’m Going Off My Head

Posted on June 8, 2008 by Luke Ford

When I interviewed hairdresser Frederic States Thursday, he recommended washing your hair only twice a week. For the last 30 years, I’ve been doing it every day (the last 20 years with this strong anti-dandruff shampoo that’s akin to battery … Continue reading →

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I Need A Woman Who’ll Make Me Feel Like Dr Marc B. Shapiro For A Night

Posted on March 29, 2008 by Luke Ford

I was so knocked out by the scholar’s enthusiasm and erudition that I want to add his personality to my Sybil-like pantheon of performance possibilities. I want to be able to snap my fingers and say at any time day … Continue reading →

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High School Offers Homosexual Porn, Parents Complain

Posted on March 11, 2008 by Luke Ford

(CNSNews.com) – Parents in Deerfield, Ill., are upset that a local high school is using books in advanced English classes this spring that they say are laced with graphic sexual content, pervasive expletives and mockery of religion. Worse, the books … Continue reading →

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