The Power Of State

Mary McNamara writes for the Los Angeles Times:

I was a junior in college, my brother a freshman, and we were home for the annual roller-coaster ride of the holidays. On this particular Christmas Day, events had unfolded as they often did — early morning present opening (hats off to Mom, who must have felt like crap at 6 a.m. but got up anyway), then a big extended-family gathering and meal during the afternoon. Things inevitably … devolved and after our guests left, my brother and I retreated to our rooms and out of the line of fire. I remember lying in bed and thinking that in two years I would be out of college and living somewhere far, far away; so far that perhaps I wouldn’t be able to come home for Christmas. Which might break my father’s heart — but, I thought, he’d live.

I was deeply asleep when Dad had his heart attack.

It was not a big one — he remained conscious — but hearing him tell my mother repeatedly to call an ambulance in a voice broken and strained filled me with fear.

Then, after my brother called 911 and things seemed as bad as they could get, the power blew…

I have already told you my mom got sober, and in case you were wondering, my father lived for many years after his heart attack — so it would be easy for me to couch this moment in the black humor that many adult children of alcoholics often use to describe the outstanding moments of a dysfunctional life. I mean, it is pretty hilarious in a way — “and then the lights went out” is a pretty good punchline for any “it could be worse” kind of story. But some stories defy even black humor; 30 years later, my brother and I almost never talk about this night because, at the time, we were just two kids shivering in the snow, desperately signaling for help.

The ambulance came and Dad survived, but the days that followed were a blur of anxiety. In the ICU, Dad was told he would need a quintuple bypass. Mom was drinking hard and refusing to speak, so we stayed away from the house as much as we could, visiting our father and hanging out with our aunt, who was the only person who had ever told us that the real problem in our house was not that we were lazy and ungrateful but that our mother was an alcoholic — and it was not our fault.

I remember telling her it would probably be best if I skipped the next semester of college to stay home and take care of my father. My mother certainly was not up to the task, and my aunt, a widow with four young children, already had way too much on her plate.

My aunt suggested gently that leaving school might not be the best plan. Then she called one of her friends, a recovering alcoholic who promptly took me to a meeting of family members coping with alcoholism. I sat through it in silence, hunched miserably in my coat, thinking only of how awful it would be to return full-time to a house I had waited so long to flee.

Afterward, I spoke with a woman who looked remarkably like my mother. I told her what was happening and what I planned to do. She shook her head and took my hands in hers.

“This is not your problem,” she said. “This is her problem, and their marriage. It is not your job to fix them. It is your job to get on with your life.”

Bud: “Luke, allow me to play devil’s advocate for a minute. You seem to minimize anecdotal evidence in favor of data/evidence verifiable by scholars. Yet for both therapy and AA isn’t all the power/benefit anecdotal. Like the Christmas drinking story, powerful though it may be is just an anecdote. is that reliable?”

Luke: Both have their place. Anecdotes, to me, are great for personal inspiration (the micro). Empirical data is good for analyzing the macro (society). Both are often more powerful when used together ala an anecdote that illustrates the data.

Creating and editing are two different mindsets. If you do them together, they don’t work well. When you create, you do not want to edit at the same time. Inspiration and analysis are also very different mindsets as are feeling and thinking. I don’t want to be in analysis when I am loving my woman, and I don’t want to have the horn when I’m trying to analyze marginal tax rates. Sometimes I want to run hot (emotional) and sometimes I want to run cold (analytical). I was about to go for a walk and do a heartfelt stream on being a good friend to oneself when instead I got immersed in researching and dealing with a problem. So that switch in mindset took me completely out of my ability to feel and to livestream.

When I have a tech issue while livestreaming, it destroys my ability to have fun, to laugh, and to be spontaneous. It’s hard to monitor my sound quality and think and create at same time. One moment I may feel loving and generous, next moment I have to deal with a problem and my ability to love is destroyed for hours. When I studied calculus and economics, it killed for years my ability to appreciate poetry.

I can have experiences that are so powerful, such as with yoga/therapy/12 step, that they, at times, supercede my desire for the data. Sometimes when you analyze things, you lose the placebo effect. I had a shrink who thought my miraculous recovery from CFS after getting on nardil in late 1993 was pure placebo. Acupuncture, which many studies say has purely a placebo effect, solved my carpal tunnel in 2007. I had ecstatic experiences doing kundalini yoga.

There are some things I don’t want to know, such as how many dudes my GF has banged. There are some things that just permanently warp the way you look at someone. There are times when ignorance is bliss. For everything there is a season and a time under heaven. There’s a time to feel and a time to analyze. There’s a time to get angry and a time to forgive.

Orthodox Judaism primarily spoke to a non-rational part of me. I don’t think I converted primarily out of rational reasons, but I enjoy at times rationally analyzing the tribe I joined.

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‘Trump commutes Esformes’ 20-year sentence in massive Medicare fraud case in Miami’

From the Miami Herald:

Philip Esformes, a former Miami Beach healthcare mogul convicted of playing a central role in one of the nation’s biggest Medicare fraud cases and using his ill-gotten millions to pay bribes for favors, won a commutation of his 20-year sentence from President Donald Trump Tuesday night.

Esformes, convicted of paying bribes, money laundering and other charges, was also ordered to pay $44 million to the taxpayer-funded Medicare program and the U.S. government after a grueling 2019 trial prosecuted by the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Miami and Justice Department. Trump’s commutation did not overturn that restitution order.

A handful of former federal prosecutors in South Florida questioned Trump’s clemency decision.

From the Chicago Tribune, Sept. 13, 2019:

Former Illinois and Florida nursing home mogul Philip Esformes wept and pleaded for mercy Thursday before being sentenced to 20 years in prison for what the U.S. Justice Department called the largest single health care bribery and kickback scheme in American history.

Esformes, who once controlled a network of more than two dozen health care facilities that stretched from Chicago to Miami, garnered $1.3 billion Medicaid revenues by bribing medical professionals who referred patients to his Florida facilities then paid off government regulators as vulnerable residents were injured by their peers, prosecutors said.

He housed elderly patients alongside younger adults who suffered from mental illness and drug addiction — sometimes with fatal results. In Esformes’ Oceanside Extended Care Center in Miami Beach, “an elderly patient was attacked and beaten to death by a younger mental health patient who never should have been at (a nursing facility) in the first place,” prosecutors wrote in a pre-sentencing memo.

As he handed down the sentence, Judge Robert N. Scola Jr. said the length and scope of Esformes’ criminal conduct were “unmatched in our community. … Mr. Esformes violated the trust of Medicare and Medicaid in epic proportions.”

But Scola meted out a punishment significantly less than the 30 years prosecutors requested, saying Esformes also had an extraordinary history of helping people in need. Attorneys for Esformes had described him as a selfless philanthropist who had donated more than $15 million to synagogues, schools and needy individuals, often anonymously.

Said Scola: “I think he should get some consideration for his philanthropy, although it’s dangerous to say because he was stealing money from Medicare, so people might say he was giving that money to charity. But the vast majority of the money he made, he made legitimately. More importantly he was a true friend to people known and unknown to him, and that is worthy of mitigation.”

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The end of the liberal international order (12-22-20)

00:00 The arc of history does not bend towards democracy
03:10 Michael Malice On Biden And The New Right
07:00 John Mearsheimer: The end of the liberal international order
36:30 A Lot of Friends Fell Down the Racist Rabbit Hole | Michael Malice
44:00 Michael Malice: Anarchy, Democracy, Libertarianism, Love, and Trolling, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIk1zUy8ehU
50:25 Colin Liddell: The decline of the Alt-Right into Alt-Liteism and Stormertardery, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_rdkJo0GjY
1:13:20 Dana White says the show will go on for UFC
1:19:00 The greatest livestream of the decade, Baked Alaska meets Sammy, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njVye0I9AUU
1:21:00 YOBA, Year of Baked Alaska, https://dailygroyper.com/2020/09/25/baked-alaska-saves-schizophrenic-trailer-park-trash-human-trafficking-victim-from-pink-eye/
1:27:00 Jared Taylor racist in Japanese
1:29:00 Jared Taylor racist in French
1:33:40 Greg Johnson on Covid-19 and excess deaths
1:45:40 Redbar Destroys A Florida Homeless Man (Mersh), https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlbEzurJ-zg
2:16:00 RED BAR RADIO S13E20 Mexicans Rant July 8, 2015
2:30:30 Andy Warski on Redbar supercut
2:37:00 Redbar – Know More News – Hypocrisy & Lies!
2:43:00 Nathan Cofnas on the origins of Covid-19 (more likely lab than wet markets), https://twitter.com/nathancofnas/status/1341533156038471683
2:47:00 Jared Taylor on Black Lives Matter
2:52:10 Donald Trump’s four-minute talk today is reminiscent of Trump 2016
2:55:00 Yes, the new federal budget includes $500 million for Israel. No, that isn’t a surprise., https://www.jta.org/2020/12/22/israel/yes-the-new-federal-budget-includes-500-million-for-israel-no-that-isnt-a-surprise#.X-I5dYhXpeo.twitter
2:59:20 Tucker Carlson on covid relief bill
3:12:00 Millenniyule 2020: Josh Neal
3:16:00 ‘Life In A Northern Town’ (Dream Academy) – Pub Choir in Brisbane, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OF5o7iFyBZs

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Making Sense Of Race (12-21-20)

00:00 DB: Tucker Carlson Tells His Giant Fox Audience Not to Trust COVID Vaccines, https://www.thedailybeast.com/tucker-carlson-tells-his-giant-fox-audience-not-to-trust-covid-vaccines?jwsource=twi
14:00 WSJ: A Pandemic of Misinformation
The media’s politicization of Covid has proved deadly and puts Americans’ freedoms at risk, https://www.wsj.com/articles/a-pandemic-of-misinformation-11608570640?mod=hp_opin_pos_1
21:00 Your defense mechanisms, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2XuzSm6o6Y
51:40 MATT PARROTT – UBI – RADIO FREE INDIANA – DEC. 14, 2020, https://www.bitchute.com/video/HnoSyrn8Im6a/
1:04:50 Jews rise up against white nationalism & fascism
1:09:20 Millenniall Woes defends Richard Spencer,https://trad-news.blogspot.com/2019/01/millennial-woes-destroys-own-brand-by.html
1:18:00 NWG opposes Richard Spencer
1:32:00 NEW on recovering from the National Socialist path
1:33:00 The Great Conjunction of Jupiter & Saturn
1:43:50 Hispanic dude: Black males are jealous of Hispanic men
1:48:40 Black Men Dating Latinas
1:57:50 Will Richard Spencer study Torah and study love?
1:59:30 RICHARD SPENCER & ED DUTTON | Making Sense of Race | McSPENCER GROUP PODCAST | 2020-12-20
2:04:00 Bashar Al Assad makes a compelling case against neo-liberalism, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bashar_al-Assad
2:11:00 Chivo exposes black self hater, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYEahEi1BkY
http://dissident-mag.com/2020/07/07/america-first-fed-problem/
2:21:20 Redbar radio said Alex Jones is trying to get away from the Qanon/altright crowd, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVAXUiqJPt0
2:26:00 Joe Rogan tired of Covid hysteria
2:31:20 Year of Baked Alaska, YOBA
2:33:00 Nick disavows Kami giving Hitler speeches
2:35:30 Great Conjunction of Jupiter & Saturn | December 21 2020 | Griffith Observatory, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uiABtFyGPY
3:29:00 The Zebra Killers, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zebra_murders
3:32:00 Jimmy Dore: AOC’s Gas Lighting Gets Called Out On Twitter!, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbZFO-pmJMo
3:37:12 Tucker Carlson on the US Military pushing diversity, https://www.unz.com/isteve/thanks-trump-administration-the-great-reset-comes-for-the-military/
3:46:00 The Great Reset comes to the Dalton School, https://www.unz.com/isteve/the-great-reset-comes-for-the-dalton-school/

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Your Top 12 Defense Mechanisms

When Fox News called Arizona for Joe Biden at 8:20 PM CA time on election night, it was clear that Joe Biden was going to become the next president of the United States. However, it took me about four more days to accept that reality. Why so long? Because I was denying reality.

The weekend after the election, I read some books on voter fraud. The best two were Election Meltdown: Dirty Tricks, Distrust, and the Threat to American Democracy by Richard Hasen (published in February 2020) and The Myth of Voter Fraud by Lorraine C. Minnite (published in 2010). After reading these books, I realized that Republicans had been complaining about voter fraud since the Motor Voter Law of 1993 but that they never bothered to present strong evidence that it led to massive voter fraud. Hence, I immediately became skeptical when Republicans complained that massive voter fraud cost them the presidency in the 2020 election. So when I heard new claims of massive voter fraud, I wanted to see evidence and I was never impressed by what I saw, and I was similarly not impressed by pundits who proclaimed voter fraud in 2020 was substantial when they had no compelling evidence. I then deepened my contempt for every pundit who makes his living talking about things he knows little about, and I was re-affirmed in my preference for the scholarship of those who devote much of their adult life to certain specialties.

LCSW Kati Morton in this 2019 video says: “A defense mechanism is an unconscious psychological response that prevents us from feeling any anxiety or upset that can arise from difficult or harmful stimuli. Research shows us that these defenses happen when our amygdala is firing. Remember our amygdala, it’s that bean-shaped part of our inner brain that acts as our fire alarm and aids us in fight, flight, and freeze. So when we feel in danger, our defense mechanisms come to our aid! Even if the threat is something we are imagining.
In a way, our defense mechanisms keep us safe and happy because they prevent us from having to deal with anything that has the potential to be upsetting. But as I am sure you can see, life cannot be completely free from anxiety or upset. Life comes with its ups and downs, and we can’t just avoid everything and think it’s going to be okay. That’s why these defense mechanisms quickly become unhealthy coping skills, that after keeping us safe that one time, now just hold us back, hurt our relationships, and isolate us from our loved ones.”

So our defense mechanisms shield us, at least temporarily, from anything that might upset us such as a Joe Biden victory. I don’t want to avoid reality because these mechanisms are not helping me in the long-term. They isolate me and make me less effective. Most everything, it seems, that immediately makes one feel better is bad for you.

Mechanism 1: Denial. We refuse to acknowledge that something has happened. This is particularly common among addicts. People like to deny reality so that they can avoid doing something about it.

2: Displacement. When we redirect our upset on to another person.
3. Intellectualization. Instead of dealing with something difficult, we focus on fixing a problem or analyzing a problem instead of giving ourselves the time to feel.
4. Repression. When we take difficult feelings and push them into our subconscious. They become a black hole. This often happens as a result of trauma. This is why we have flashbacks and body memories later in life.
5. Projection. When we place our emotions or thoughts on to somebody else. We might even become upset at others when nothing is actually happening.
6. Over-compensation. When we over-compensate in one part of our life to make up for lack in another area instead of being OK with not being wonderful at everything.
7. Regression. Reverting to childhood. Name-calling and throwing tantrums.
8. Reaction formation. When we act in contrast to how we feel.
9. Rationalization. We come up with excuses. We explain away our bad behavior.
10. Sublimation. When we channel anything upsetting into something more acceptable.
11. Dissociation. When our situation becomes too much to deal with and so we either disconnect from ourselves (depersonalization) or from reality (derealization).
12. Passive aggression.

I notice a lot of my friends on the right are declaring that they are becoming non-political and yet they are still active on social media, they still listen to talk radio and watch the news and retain a passionate interest in politics. In other words, they’re fooling themselves about reality and about themselves to cope.

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