Luke Ford | No sacred cows.

The Broken American Male: And How to Fix Him by Shmuley Boteach

Posted on December 18, 2007 by Luke Ford

This book is coming out Jan. 22.

Book Description:
Why do American husbands come home from work too exhausted to interact with their families? When did a healthy quest for prosperity become a twisted game no one can win? How did BlackBerries and internet porn become more interesting to men than their flesh-and-blood spouses? Shmuley Boteach has made a great study of how families live today-both in his work as a rabbi privately and as host of TLC’s ‘Shalom in the Home’.He’s discovered a disturbing common thread in the families he meets: men responding to the pressure of competition in their work lives by turning away from their loved ones. In a world that judges men by the size of their paychecks and the wattage of their fame, it’s all too easy to lose sight of what is truly valuable in life.Men who consider themselves failures and don’t love themselves turn into stressed-out dads, distracted husbands and miserable human beings. For these men, alcohol, the internet and sporting events serve as numbing stand-ins for read life. In THE BROKEN AMERICAN MALE, Boteach doesn’t just outline the problems facing marriages and nuclear families.He also offers practical, inspiring solutions, showing how wives can reach out to their husbands, helping them become heroes again to their own families.

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Crown Heights’ receding hemlines

Posted on December 18, 2007 by Luke Ford

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach writes:

Returning to Chabad headquarters in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, for a Shabbat is an exhilarating experience. Lubavitchers are arguably the most alive people in the world and there is a pulse and electricity in the air that can scarcely be found anywhere else.

What I did not expect, however, was to be approached by a large number of young rabbinical students of marriageable age who wanted counseling as to how to overcome their obsession with a woman’s looks on dates. Some of the young men who approached me had dated upwards of 40 women and had been instantly dismissive if she wasn’t a beauty.

Mind you, these were not bums. Most were outstanding young scholars, deeply religious, serious about their rabbinical degrees, and desirous of going, right after marriage, to the far corners of the world to spread Judaism. But in the area of dating they had absorbed the shallow mores of the mainstream culture. They judged a woman primarily by her appearance.

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Who’s Loving Hillary?

Posted on December 18, 2007 by Luke Ford

Mickey Kaus writes: "New Clinton ad: "Hillary’s mom lives with her." But does her husband? Mickey’s Assignment Desk: Has anybody updated Patrick Healy’s May, 2006 story and calculated the number of days Bill Clinton has spent in Hillary’s Washington, D.C. house in the past year (now that it’s been officially designated as the place where you live when you live "with" Hillary)? If you’re going to flaunt your home life then people are entitled to examine your home life."

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Having observed females on both sides of the Atlantic, our correspondent claims British women are unkempt and lazy about grooming

Posted on December 18, 2007 by Luke Ford

Tad Safran writes for the Times of London:

I was set up with Sophie (I have changed the name) by married friends. Sophie was a truly beautiful girl I used to be friends with, but hadn’t seen in 15 years. I was surprised to hear that she was still single and was excited to meet her again. At dinner, I found myself sitting opposite something that surely would have been happier hunting for truffles in the forests of France or grazing on the grassy marshlands of Canada. My friend’s wife had told me that Sophie still had the body of a 20-year-old. Maybe she did . . . dismembered in her freezer at home. She certainly didn’t have it on her skeleton.

I’m not saying that I’m the greatest prize out there, but at least I’d put on a clean shirt, shaved and brushed my teeth. Sophie tumbled into the house looking like a refugee from Hurricane Katrina. She smelt like the R&D lab at Philip Morris. Her outfit was about as sexy as a half-pound of ground meat. And, surely, the only time she’d seen the inside of a gym was to ask directions to the nearest pub. I was hurt that my friends thought I’d be remotely interested in Sophie. Even more insulting was when my friend’s wife pointedly said: “Tad, I hear you just sold a screenplay to the producers of My Big Fat Greek Wedding.” I could not believe it. She was selling ME to HER!? I sat there watching Sophie tuck into a second huge plate of shepherd’s pie and realised why no self-respecting American girl consumes carbohydrates after 2pm. I’m not surprised Sophie was having trouble finding a boyfriend. Regardless of whether she was interested in me or not, she was unwittingly sabotaging her own chances with any man.

It’s not entirely Sophie’s fault, I suppose. My friend’s wife didn’t manage my expectations. Maybe it would have been better if she had said: “Tad, you enjoyed The Lord of the Rings. Would you like to meet an orc?” Why is it the case (and I’m generalising here) that British women spend so little time and effort on looking after them-selves? Take, for example, Helena Bonham Carter, a spectacular example of the English rose. And yet she is regularly photographed looking like a bag of spanners. Can you imagine a similar photo of the American equivalent, say Michelle Pfeiffer? Absolutely not.

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Does Our Looks-Obsessed Culture Want to Stare at an Aging Woman?

Posted on December 18, 2007 by Luke Ford

Rush Limbaugh says on his radio show:

Now, this theory of mine based on this Drudge picture of Mrs. Clinton, with the headline: "The Toll of a Campaign." Now, it could well be that that’s a sympathy photo, too, to make people feel sorry for how tough the campaign trail is. Now, I want to preface this by saying I know it’s going to get out there. Media Matters is going to get hold of this and they’re going to take it all out of context. We can expect that. It’s a badge of honor when this happens, but for the rest of you, I want you to understand that I am talking about the evolution of American culture here, and not so much Mrs. Clinton. It could be anybody, and it is really not very complicated. Americans are addicted to physical perfection, thanks to Hollywood and thanks to television. We know it because we see it. We see everybody and their uncle in gyms. We see people starving themselves. We see people taking every miracle fad drug there is to lose weight. We see guys trying to get six-pack abs. We have women starving themselves trying to get into size zero and size one clothes; makeovers, facials, plastic surgery, everybody in the world does Botox, and this affects men, too. As you know, the haughty John Kerry Botoxed his wrinkles out during the campaign.

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Remember Vanessa Williams?

Posted on December 18, 2007 by Luke Ford

I was in Australia when I heard the news that the reigning Miss America was forced to resign her title when nude photos of her were published in the September 1984 issue of Penthouse magazine.

Eric Danville notes: "The photos were salacious, scandalous, and just may have been the best thing that happened to her career. A few years after the media frenzy died down, Williams established the most successful career of any former Miss America, with a string of hit songs, films, and stage roles. Her music and acting skills got her nominated for Grammys, Tonys, and Emmys. She’s won the Billboard Music Award, an NAACP Image Award, and a Theater World Award. Most recently, the former nude model was honroed with…a Teen Choice Award."

Heck, if Vanessa can do it, I can do it.

Eric writes: "The September 1984 issue of Penthouse is a bona fide collector’s item, and not just because of Vanessa’s photos. The Pet of the Month in that issue was none other than the underage Traci Lords, who gave the photographer a phony driver’s license to prove she was over 18 and, when the truth came out, ignited a scandal herself. So it’s a collector’s issue that no one can collect, because owning a copy is a federal crime."

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About Half Of My Friends Are Orthodox Jews

Posted on December 17, 2007 by Luke Ford

Orthodoxy has made for the majority of my social life since I moved to Los Angeles in 1994.

I compare notes with a friend who says:

Yes I’d say that percentage too, although due to the vast amount of social time I spend in engaging in religious fare, I think Its safe to say that I spend 80 percent of my social time with the frumies (Orthodox)…. And I’m not really sure if I’m too happy about that!

I mean, I love these folk, I do, but truth be told, lately I feel like I am limited in the expression of who I am around most of them. I sort of practice a very controlled, very specific version of myself…

Until four short years ago I’d say that 50% of my social circle were non-Jews and the other half were completely secular like I was. I believe we all have so many sides to ourselves and taking on the identity of I am Frum just seems so… in a box. Albeit a nice moral and disciplined box…but nevertheless…a finite, definite box! How we should think, how we should talk, act etc is so strictly defined in the Frum community and of which I learned so deeply and so fast had all eyes in the community on my every move, leaving very little margin, if any for error.

Come to think of it I was pretty brainwashed and becoming a bit one note…and my family were kind of freaking out. My family are real progressive thinkers, very intellectual and very successful. They’re all doctors, lawyers,architects, entepreneurs and all big contributers to Israel and society.

When I first threw myself so totally into this very exclusive world of Orthodoxy in my efforts to belong and feel respected I all but forgot who I was and where I come from. I was made to feel less than…only because I was not from a 10 generation family of Kabbalists and Chasids. And since I so dearly admired these people who for me personified the ultimate goal in the human experience I was ready to denounce everything else that I once admired and derived great pleasure from, like great art and literature,music and of course theatre and my own career in the performing arts. I had one guy come over to put up more Mezuzot at my place and he suggested that I remove all my books (thousands) and pictures on the wall and other paraphernalia that wasn’t of Jewish origin and then I took a moment to consider the craziness…and I think that was a very defining moment in my journey.

Then, shortly before I was gonna bid goodbye to my bachelorettehood, I had a conversation with my dad, and I was telling him how I still felt not entirely embraced by my husband to be’s family.

It was then that I finally realized it hit me like a ton of bricks…that I am enough! I am more than enough and I have a great deal to offer without needing to fit into a certain mold that other people fit into to be someone. I already was Someone.

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“The Causes and Consequences of Anti-Americanism around the World”

Posted on December 17, 2007 by Luke Ford

From Dennis Prager’s blog:

Dennis talks to Rich Lowry, editor of the National Review. Lowry fears that Mike Huckabee would be an electoral disaster for Republicans.

According to the Mitchell Report, the best hitter and the pitcher in baseball history used illegal steroids to gain a competitive edge. Baseball has been badly tarnished. The reputations of Roger Clemens and others permanently so. Boswell is one of best known sports writers in the country.

There will be a conference Tuesday night entitled "The Causes and Consequences of Anti-Americanism around the World." It’s taking place at the Skirball Center in Los Angeles. Listeners can check here for information or call 310-444-3085.

Joe Lieberman endorses John McCain. Makes sense because they are very close politically – liberal domestically, conservative on foreign policy.

One hundred scientists say global warming is a farce. They’re all obviously in the pay of industry.

Des Moines Register endorses Hillary Clinton, John McCain. Eight of nine of the members of the editorial board are women. All are liberal. Wonder if that had any impact on their thinking?

George Friedman, founder and chairman of Stratfor, has written a very clear analysis of why the stock market has held together despite incredible pressures (war, debt, housing crisis, banking crisis) and why he thinks it will probably remain on solid ground. This is a view I haven’t read anywhere else. You’ll find it fascinating. You can check out Friedman’s service here.

John Podhoretz blogs: "You could watch me, Michael Medved, Dennis Prager, and Mona Charen discuss America, Jews, and Israel in a streaming video transcription of a December 9 panel in San Francisco sponsored by the Jewish Policy Center. The JPC offers it for viewing here (it takes about half a minute to load, so be a little patient). You can get a flavor for what we talked about from this post by Rick Richman of Jewish Current Issues."

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You Can Earn A Living Blogging

Posted on December 17, 2007 by Luke Ford

I’ve done it for more than a decade. Yes, most of that time, I made most of my money writing about the porn industry, but now I’m determined to make a clean living online.

You can too if you’re smart and willing to work hard.

Here’s how:

* Read this on JohnChow.com.
* Read Joel Comm, including his book on Adsense Secrets.
* Subscribe to AdsenseAccelerator.com.
* If you have skill with video, go put stuff on revver.com.

From SFGate.com:

More quickly than most anyone imagined, blogging is growing up. From the blogosphere’s anarchistic roots, a professional cadre is emerging that is creating an industry whose top-performing businesses now earn serious money. The industry is expanding at warp speed. Blog-based media could just be poised to elbow aside traditional print and broadcast outlets to become one of the dominant sources of news, information and opinion, many observers believe.

"As traditional media continue to contract, this stuff is going to expand," said Steve King, senior fellow with the Society for New Communications Research, a Palo Alto think tank. "The business models have caught up and you’re starting to see little blog publishing companies that frankly are becoming not so little."

The blogging world has tremendous strengths – original voices, provocative opinions, imagination and intimate knowledge of a variety of subjects.

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Why Isn’t Kiefer Getting Paris-Level Coverage?

Posted on December 17, 2007 by Luke Ford

From TambaBay.com:

…12 days into Kiefer Sutherland’s 48-day sentence for drunk driving, and I’ve got a simple question: Where is the media?
When Paris Hilton hit the slammer, the media responded with helicopters, continuous cable news coverage, swarms of paparazzi and endless streams of speculation on What It All Means. But do a search on the terms "Kiefer Sutherland" and "jail" on Google News, and the most recent articles you’ll see beyond superficial name checking were gossipy items from last Wednesday and Thursday noting that the 24 star is on laundry duty and gets about 100 pieces of fan mail each day.
…It’s a collective media yawn matched only by the non-coverage given Jodie Foster, who finally publicly mentioned last week the 54-year-old woman she has been living with for 14 years, obliquely confirming that, yep, she’s gay. (which makes me wonder, how does Entertainment Weekly do a whole cover story on her months ago and not get close to this fact?)

I assume that the primary reason for the lack of coverage of Kiefer compared to Paris is that he’s not as compelling. Paris is fascinating in that trainwreck way…

Here’s an analogy about this: the best sex is with freaky chicks, not good solid mentchy women.

Aside from his alcoholism, Kiefer seems like a mentch.

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