Las Vegas Justice

Las Vegas entertainment executive Tom Ficara emails about 30 prominent Jews:

I will shortly be departing for Massachusetts, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and Ohio to coordinate interviews of relevant victims, administrators, witnesses, etc. regarding the Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas Jewish Federation TV episode that we are producing for our Las Vegas Justice Bureau TV series. The focus of the story is the trail of abuse and hate based leadership of Elliot Karp at his various stops of other Jewish Federation and other related Jewish Organizations. We are looking to find out why these various organizations would pass this person around, much like the Catholic Church has done with its abusive priests. We are looking to find out why the Las Vegas Jewish Federation continues to stand behind him and condone this hate based leadership and abuse. We are looking to find out if there is a Quid Pro Quo agreement that the Las Vegas Jewish Federation would take Karp on in return for other favors that might enrich any Directors personally. We are looking to further investigate the financial improprieties of which the Federation has been accused of that relate to these matters.

We have five victims of Karp

Posted in Las Vegas | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on Las Vegas Justice

How Our Relationships Affect Our Health

More:

Posted in Personal | Comments Off on How Our Relationships Affect Our Health

The Late Lamented ‘Jewish Reporter’ Newspaper Of Las Vegas

Here’s some background.

Arthur J. Bloberger, the former editor of the “Jewish Reporter”, emails me today:

Although I’ve still not heard the results of my unemployment appeal hearing (way overdue by their own estimation – I don’t know if that’s good or bad, I might be screwed by a technicality), I’ve finally decided to start singing personally. I personally kept quiet for the longest time, hoping that the powers that be at the fed might righten up and take some responsibility for some of their ungodly actions. That hope has all but disappeared for now, but let’s not totally give up on the possibility. I do believe in miracles, and that righteousness will eventually prevail, one way or the other.

So here is my personal JFLV/Karp story, from the horses mouth this time, so to speak.

This is a story I hoped I would not have to write. These are feelings and events I wish I had never experienced, but I did. Each time I have had to relive these tragedies, I can’t help but think how unnecessary it all should have been. Now the time to remember has come again, this time presented in a more public forum. Let me make it clear: much has already been circulated related to this story – including several letters – but these are the first such words I have ever put to paper myself.

I had been editor of Las Vegas’ Jewish Reporter for well over a year and a half when I first met Elliot B. Karp. Like many, I was excited at the prospect of new leadership for the Jewish Federation of Las Vegas, which had floundered a bit over the previous year. He seemed intelligent and articulate, poised to begin a new era of prosperity for this respected charitable organization.

That he was to usher in a new era has been proven true enough. But sadly, it has become one of anger, hatred and fear-mongering – a tangled web of deceit and discrimination, power and prejudice.

The JFLV published the now-defunct Jewish Reporter newspaper, and as new CEO/President of the federation, Karp became my new boss. I had no problem with that, as I had already given him free-of-charge something I ordinarily make someone earn – my respect. But early on, an ugly incident took place that would make me regret such deference.

Mark Levine had recently been hired by Karp for the position of the federation’s communications director, a position that had been vacant since long before I began my tenure there. As such, I was showing him some of the ins-and-outs of the paper, going over some of the rough pages. Karp came into the office and pointed at one such page that had an in-house ad in it for Hillel, the federation’s UNLV campus program.

“Who’s that nigger?” Karp said to the two of us. Our jaws dropped simultaneously.

On that page, in that ad, a young person of color appeared in a group picture taken at a recent Hillel event. Karp repeated himself, this time changing the offensive term to its Yiddish equivalent. “Who’s the shvatsa?” he asked. “Have you two lost your minds?”

I was indignant and highly offended by his comment, even though I was not Jewish or black myself. “These pictures were provided to us by Hillel” was all I said.

“That’s a Jewish student who just happens to be black,” added Levine, equally aghast.

“You damn well better be right!” spit Karp. “Especially if I have to explain it to one of our donors,” he hissed as he angrily winded his way out of the office. I believe at that moment, Levine and I began to fully understand the rough ride we were in for.

By that time, unbeknownst to me, Levine had already heard many disparaging and equally racist comments about me during even his earliest meetings with Karp, but in his embarrassment and shame as a proud Jew, he chose not to subject me at the time to those revelations. So I went about my job for the next several months, always wondering why Karp treated me with such furor and disdain, even though I was clearly working my tuches off for the federation and the paper. I locked up the offices on many a late night.

I had been hired by the prior CEO, one Meyer Bodoff. He knew full well that I was not Jewish when he trusted me with the position of editor, but I had a world of experience and a strong publishing portfolio. I worked hard for him to help repay his confidence in me. And even after Bodoff was released, leaving the federation temporarily leaderless, I ate, breathed and slept the Jewish Reporter. Jewish or not, I dedicated my life to that newspaper and its mission, supporting the federation and its annual campaign. Actually, I loved it. I felt like I was doing something really worthwhile.

But Karp did not possess Bodoff’s inclusive humanity. And I believe Bodoff’s gamble paid off quite well, as the Las Vegas Jewish community was clearly noticing the love and sweat I was putting into their publication. The response to my editorship had been almost totally positive. But conversely, each interaction I had with Karp had grown more and more arduous, full of bullying and constant criticism, I began to realize that he had something personal against me. I already knew he hated blacks, so perhaps I should have caught on sooner. But I would soon learn that he also had a hatred for gentiles, and women as well.

The first time he directly attacked me with remarks of religious discrimination was in early July of ’09. I had just written a draft of a short piece about the political unrest in Iran following its recent controversial election results, tying it in with some live demonstrations of support taking place here in Las Vegas by local Iranian-Americans. Mind you, I was not endorsing, just reporting. Upon reading it, Karp burst into my office unannounced in a rage, catching me off guard.

“You’re making Iranian-Americans look good,” he yelled, “and that will piss off the local Jewish community.” I didn’t agree with him; I had more trust in their intelligence. But at this point in my relationship with Karp, what else was new? But it was the unforgivable words and actions to come that would wound me to this very day, even though I know it shouldn’t – given the source.

His face turned red and a finger darted out at me. “You’re a non-Jew!” he pointed to my face. “You can’t possibly understand these things because you’re a non-Jew!” I was speechless as he shot out of my office. As much as I had already learned that Karp wasn’t even remotely a nice guy, I was still stunned by such outwardly discriminatory remarks. What I didn’t realize until later was how this and what would follow next would ultimately also make me question my own worth as a writer and editor – and a Christian.

Roughly a little more than a month had passed and I was working on our annual education issue, which featured the local kollel as its cover story, something I had been fighting Karp to let me present for at least six months. I argued that the kollel was something of which to be extremely proud, and he eventually acquiesced, although he always winced at promoting anything other than the federation itself. But when he read the story, he again took me by surprise, cornering me in my tiny office. Much to my disbelief, he was angry because I was making the kollel sound “too good.” In the end, I took out just about every complimentary adjective in the whole report, since he was the boss and I could only argue to a point. But then, it happened again. Out came the finger. Crimson washed over his face. The angry tone turned to an ear-shattering accusation.

“You’re a non-Jew!” he boiled over. “This is way over your pay-scale!”

I certainly felt my self-esteem deflate just then. But at this point, I was worried about a lot more than just my next raise.

Besides me, other victims of Karp’s temper began to pile up in the hallways, a place where a few of his foul-mouthed tirades inappropriately took place for the whole office to hear – making them certainly anything but private matters at this point. The recipient was usually just someone who was simply trying to do their job, but for one reason or the other was Karp’s target for the day. Separately, we were all living in fear for our jobs. Perhaps cumulatively, we could do something about this monster.

After working a while longer aside Mark Levine, I learned he was a man of integrity after my own heart. There were six of us in particular who were feeling persecuted by Karp (and others we didn’t know about at the time) and we looked to have a meeting with Leonard Stone, the incoming JFLV chairman of the board and one half of the law firm, Shook & Stone. Seemingly a mentsh, Stone had, after all, come around to just about all of us at one time or another and said if we ever had a problem, “his door was open.”

Thus Levine called Stone’s secretary and made an appointment for the six of us to meet with him at 4 p.m. on August 17, 2009. We all hoped that this would be a solution. Instead, it just made matters worse.

Instead of meeting with us as we had requested, we were ambushed. The day of the appointment, Stone showed up at the federation offices. The six of us were all called into the conference room, although one chickened out. There sat Stone and Karp, as Stone put it – “connected at the hip.” Also present was CFO Marjorie Griebel, a smirk on her face the whole time.

Before even one of us could choke out a terrified word, Stone spoke clearly and decisively. “I don’t know what your problems are with Elliot Karp, but if it’s not razor blades and white powder on his desk, then we just don’t want to hear it!”

I don’t think anyone could believe such words came out of the mouth of the incoming chairman of the board, let alone an attorney. Only two of us had the courage after that to even try to interject.

“We are just doing what the employee handbook says we should do if we have a problem with the CEO,” I said.

“No, you’re not” barked Griebel, hardly a likeable or respected fixture of the federation either. Just ask around.

“We just wanted to make the federation offices a better place, a non-hostile place to work,” offered Levine, to no response at all.

Had Stone just kept our original appointment, or even just leaned across the conference table and said, “Now all of you, tell me, just what seems to be the matter…,” a lot of pain and anguish and potential legal proceedings could have been avoided. Instead, we were all just readily dismissed from the meeting. And that included our concerns.

I know we were all disillusioned at that point. We felt trapped with no place to go, knowing full well that we had all just made ourselves even bigger targets. The economy was so tough right now; this was no time to be without a job and insurance. Sadly, that meant the torture would continue, for as long as we could possibly take it anyway.

For me, it was only as long as strike number three, which took place about ten days later.

I was working on the Rosh Hashanah issue and had solicited some cheery comments for a cover story from many of the valley’s rabbis and other influential Jews. Karp wanted to see who I was contacting – okay. I was confident my choices were good. After more than two years at the helm of the Jewish Reporter, I knew who to go to in the community to get warm recollections on the prior year and a positive outlook on the next. But what I did not know was that Karp had it in for one of my respondents – the valley’s only female rabbi.

He couldn’t even wait this time until he had entered my office. “I will not have that woman’s comments in my paper!” he screamed at me from outside my office door. It was then that it dawned on me that he hated not only blacks and gentiles, but women as well.

The incredible finger-pointing red-hulk had returned. “You’re a non-Jew,” he lashed out. “No one wants to hear what she has to say. You don’t understand the politics involved!”

The heck I didn’t. I insisted that having a lady rabbi was a great thing and I argued with him until he stomped away. I had met the rabbi in question on a few occasions and knew she was a truly inspirational figure.

I sat there shaking. I knew I could no longer work under someone so hateful, so racist. So I began to type my resignation, making the reasons quite clear. It was one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made, and also, I think, one of the most important. I sent it to Karp and Stone, as well as the outgoing Chairman of the Board, Danny Greenspun.

Originally, I had said that I would work two more weeks, even under such religious discrimination. I really intended to do so; my heart was in the right place. We were in the middle of a production schedule, and I hated the thought of leaving my loyal co-workers in a lurch. But when I showed up the next morning, I was not prepared for how I would feel.

By the time I got to my desk, my heart was pounding like a hammer, I was short of breath, and sweating profusely. Sick to my stomach, I said a few sad goodbyes as I stumbled to the parking lot. At the front door was Griebel.

“I’m sorry; I had no idea,” she said to me. “I hate to see you go. You’re one of the few people here I actually like.”

But I didn’t believe her. No one else would or should either. She’s one of those who continually tries to make herself look good by making others look bad. Just ask around the office – look for the ones with a knife in their back.

The next day, Karp deceitfully announced the cancellation of the Jewish Reporter, citing financial difficulties. But this was an absolute lie, which he fed to the community hook, line and sinker. As editor, I was in a position to know; the paper was clearly in the black, especially after having recently renegotiated its printing costs – saving thousands of dollars annually – thanks to former Advertising Director Joanne Friedland (a 14-year veteran of the federation who Karp was continuously heard referring to as “a dinosaur,” so you can add “age discrimination” to the list). But “creative” accounting by Griebel, who unjustly weighed down the paper’s budget with improper overhead and overinflated external staff involvement, supported his argument. I now suspect that Karp hated me so deeply that he was actually willing to destroy the paper just to put an end to a non-Jew’s tenure as editor. Not to mention that it was common knowledge that Greenspun had wanted to kill the reporter for years, so he could provide the community with his own (for-profit) Jewish publication. Now, everybody gets what they wanted, except the Las Vegas Jewish community, who still longs for the Jewish Reporter. Just ask around.

A few days later, still in shock, I received a letter from the federation’s attorney, a Ms. Wanker, wanting to “investigate” the situation. At this point, I had taken no action at all and had no idea what I was going to do other than file for unemployment. But the letter scared me, as letters from lawyers often do, so my very supportive wife, Amy, called the State Bar and got a recommendation for a religious discrimination attorney. From there, things began to escalate.

As an “investigator,” Wanker is lousy. She has long since uncovered the truth about Karp (which includes a litany of prior offenses around the country, including striking a female underling and being sanctioned to attend anger management classes) and learned of the many hateful, racist comments he made to other members of staff about me behind my back. She is just covering up his behavior, as have so very many others by now, except the federation is paying her big bucks for it. Rather she is a shark of a lawyer, out to devour the federation’s rightful complainants, of which the numbers are ever-increasing.

Of the five who dared show up for the impromptu meeting with Karp and Stone, three have been terminated. The total now released is five – all dedicated professionals who eschewed the federation’s mission and programs, only to be raked over the coals by Karp and those who support him. Most of us have not even been allowed the dignity of collecting our well-deserved unemployment benefits. And apparently, mine is not the only lawsuit in the works. A few other employees also have left recently for “other reasons,” but we all know the truth. No one wants to work for that man. No one should ever have to work for that man and I feel sorry for those who are still forced to do so. Given all that the Jewish people have been through, Karp is a mockery of everything for which they have lived and died.

The fact that the JFLV board continues to employ this man, and thereby endorses him, is inexcusable. He is a bigot, pure and simple, and a nasty one at that. He needs to leave the federation for good. But the fact is, they actually knew about his anger problem before they hired him, even falling for the line that “he was cured.” Someone explain that to me, please. He also likes to say when questioned about his anger that he is just being “passionate” about whatever the problem is, another excuse eaten up like worms by some of the bigger fish on the board. Sorry; passion and anger are two very different emotions. And this is one Karp that needs to be thrown back.

And that brings me full circle to the beginning of this story. I did not want to have to write this. I have had great angst over the whole thing. All I asked Wanker from day one was that Karp be released and that I receive my old job back or a similar one with like pay and benefits. Since then, she and the powers that be have fought tooth and nail to keep my rightful unemployment benefits from me, as well as defaming my character to the Jewish community as just a “disgruntled employee.” Yes, I am disgruntled, and it’s time for the community to know why.

In a short time, my case will go to the EEOC. This and the inevitable publicity from it could hurt the federation and its annual campaign, which has never been my goal. My former co-workers at the federation were some of the best and brightest professionals I have ever worked with, and I am proud to have done so, even in the face of such evil.

But Karp is still CEO, so I’m afraid I will have to up the ante. He must go, for the good of Jewish Las Vegas. And the leadership that looks the other way must also be held accountable, at any and all costs.

I did not choose this. But it was thrust upon me and I must not shirk my duty or my belief in America’s religious freedom and equality.

It’s time for the entire Jewish community to know the truth before Elliot B. Karp, representing the Jewish Federation of Las Vegas, commits another federal offense. Perhaps someone else besides this non-Jewish person will answer the call, take a stand, and try to right the wrongs that have been perpetuated.

If not, justice must then be sought in a court of law.

-Arthur J. Bloberger

former editor of the Jewish Reporter

Posted in Jewish Federation, Jewish Journalism, Las Vegas | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on The Late Lamented ‘Jewish Reporter’ Newspaper Of Las Vegas

I’m Tired Of All These Public Outpourings Of Sensitivity To Gay Orthodox Jews

Why should gay Orthodox Jews get any more compassion than any other group within Orthodoxy who chooses to publicly deviate from their religion and simultaneously seek acceptance from it?

Judaism unambiguously says that is it not allowed to have sex with the same sex. It is a particularly big sin for a man to have sex with a man.

If you want to publicly deviate from this foundational law of Judaism, then don’t expect to be treated with sensitivity by traditional Jews.

I don’t see those who drive to shul on Shabbos creating support groups and making documentary films and crying for acceptance.

I don’t want gay Jews lynched. I don’t want them dragged behind trucks. I just want the ones who want to be accepted within Orthodox Judaism to shut up about their sexuality in public.

I’ve been as devious and deviant as the next guy but you don’t see me blogging about that and seeking acceptance for my sins. Instead, I make great effort to keep my blog as pure as the driven snow so that all Jews may dwell here in safety (except the gays).

I often find myself attracted to persons and behaviors that are forbidden to me. I often find the prospect of these liasons far more exciting to me and far more authentic to who I am than potentially licit relationships. If I were to act on my deviations from the Orthodox norm, I wouldn’t expect the Orthodox community to embrace me for it.

Over the years, I’ve hung out with a lot of journalists. While I sometimes do journalism, I often do writing that violates the norms of journalism. I don’t expect my fellow journalists to publicly embrace my deviations from journalism and publicly proclaim, “You’re one of us! We love you and we stand behind what you do!”

Every group has norms. If you want to publicly violate the norms of your group, don’t ask for an aliyah.

Be a man. Don’t go whining about insensitive treatment from groups opposed to your public actions.

What kills me is when Modern Orthodox rabbis talk about new scientific findings about homosexuality that have changed the way they relate to the issue. This is not thinking in alignment with the Torah. This is goyisha thinking. There are no new scientific findings that change how Orthodox Judaism relates to homosexual behavior.

Orientation is not covered much in Jewish law. That one is born oriented towards committing numerous sins is taken for granted by Torah. That’s why there are so many laws in Judaism. The religion has a skeptical view of human nature and it doesn’t want people to always act on their orientations. It wants them to act according to divine law rather than according to their feelings (if the two clash). If you don’t want to follow this, then keep quiet. Don’t be “out” about being a pornographer or an adulterer or a tax cheat or a heretic if you want to be embraced by your Orthodox community.

I assure you that not everything done in the hovel coincides with the dictates of divine law. But you don’t see me blogging about that. I keep a stiff upper lip in public and I don’t talk about what inspires my stiff upper cock.

That’s why I’m a moral leader and that’s why the rabbis endorse me.

Jim emails: Pot? Meet Kettle.

“Be a man. Don

Posted in Homosexuality, Personal, Sex | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on I’m Tired Of All These Public Outpourings Of Sensitivity To Gay Orthodox Jews

Homosexuality And Orthodox Judaism

From my coverage of this past weekend’s LimmudLA:

Sunday. Feb. 14, 2010. 4 p.m.

Judaism and Homosexuality: An Orthodox Conversation

Many assume that Orthodox leaders are uniformly unwelcoming of gays and lesbians, but Orthodox communities are far from monolithic. Join a conversation between an Orthodox rabbi and the director of a gay Jewish organization on the range of Orthodox approaches to gay Jews. What are the opportunities for inclusion and the necessary limits? How does one strike a balance between upholding halacha and empathetically engaging with human diversity?

Gregg Drinkwater directs Jewish Mosaic: The National Center for Sexual and Gender Diversity, an organization that helps Jewish institutions become more welcoming of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Jews. He is the co-editor of Torah Queeries: Weekly Commentaries on the Hebrew Bible (NYU Press, 2009) and president of Limmud Colorado. Prior to joining Jewish Mosaic, Drinkwater worked in nonprofit communications, at a daily newspaper in Moscow, and as the news editor for San Francisco-based PlanetOut Inc., publishers of Gay.com and PlanetOut.com, the world’s most popular LGBT Web sites.

I feel guilty blogging this session given that the rabbi says he’d prefer to keep these type of discussions private, but I tell myself that Susan Freudenheim from the Jewish Journal is there taking notes, so a harmless drudge such as myself can do no damage.

Rabbi Yosef Kanefsky of Bnai David-Judea: “My peers call me the most liberal Orthodox rabbi they know…”

Gregg: “Do they mean that as a compliment?”

Rabbi Kanefsky: “It means they embrace me as an Orthodox rabbi. We do things programatically together. They acknowledge my Orthodoxy but put an adjective in front of it. Everything I say, you have to see it through the lens of who I am… While I will do my best to represent normative Orthodoxy, don’t go saying that because Kanefsky says this, Orthodoxy says the same thing.”

“Our congregation (Bnai David) was the only congregation on the West Coast to have a screening of Trembling Before God. We had a number of people whose stories were told in that film in the audience.”

“As a congregation, this was the kind of conversation we wanted to have about the issue of homosexuality in the Orthodox community.”

The discussion turns to the December 22, 2009 event at Yeshiva University hosted by the YU Tolerance Club and the Wurzweiler School of Social Work — “Being Gay in the Orthodox World: A Conversation with Members of the YU Community.”

Rabbi Kanefsky: “Rabbi Yosef Blau is a wonderful, wise and thoughtful rabbi. He’s the rabbi who stuck out his neck to the facilitator of that forum. There’s no end to the courage and bravery he demonstrated.”

The rabbi reads from this unofficial transcript of Rabbi Blau’s remarks: “The halakha as expressed explicitly in the Torah and in the Chachamim is clear to everyone here. And this is not what we’re here to discuss and I’m making the point in the sense that if someone does try to discuss halakha, I will ask them to stop.”

Gregg says he is not Orthodox. He says he is married to another man.

Gregg: “What would you tell young rabbis about how to deal with gay and lesbian people in their community?”

Rabbi Kanefsky: “The most important thing is to not panic… It’s difficult when you leave the academy and meet real people with real issues… If a young rabbi were to react to the word ‘homosexual’, this young rabbi will utterly fail to interact meaningfully… He has to take a step back and say, I am interacting with a holy Jew.”

Gregg: What about dealing with this issue publicly?

Rabbi Kanefsky: “We were talking about our screening of Trembling Before God. I limited that evening to members of our congregation because the members of the congregation function as an extended family. We were discussing the issue of homosexuality in the Orthodox community within a group that’s mutually trusting and mutually respectful. We were all stakeholders in the outcome. I’m almost risking my own rules right now.

I did this once at the UJ before it became AJU. I’m not sure that I look back on it as something I enjoyed doing. I didn’t know who was out there and when you don’t know who’s out there, then you don’t know whether the things you are saying are on the mark or potentially offensive or potentially misunderstood or misconstrued. I wouldn’t advise a young rabbi to write an article in the newspaper. When you don’t know who your audience is, it is so easy to misstep.

“A colleague of mine sends me an op/ed that he’s hoping to publish. I notice in one paragraph an explicit comparison in the eyes of the halacha between someone who is a practicing homosexual and someone who is a felon. You don’t mean that. You’re just trying to say that everyone is welcome in the synagogue. That’s a completely unnecessary comparison… That’s the sort of thing when people go out in public, it’s easy to say things that are misconstruable, offensive. But a mutually trusting stakeholder conversation is more effective.”

Gregg: “I want to ask you about giving advice to someone who comes to you who thinks he’s gay. Imagine an 18-year old man who comes to you and says, ‘Rabbi, I am gay.’ Or, ‘I think I’m gay.'”

Rabbi Kanefsky: “Now we’re getting to the heart of the matter.

“I just had a notice that I am invited to the 25th reunion of my college class at Yeshiva College. I am positive that twenty five years ago, it would’ve seemed obvious to me and to every other graduate of Yeshiva College who wound up going to rabbinical school that the reaction to that 18-year old would be to say, ‘Let me get you help. We can fix that.’

“In 25 years, the world has changed dramatically in our thinking… I am confident that I speak for a wide swathe of the Modern Orthodox rabbinate, based on conversations I’ve had with rabbis, based on things they’ve published, based on comments they’ve made in lectures… The understanding that a person’s sexual orientation…is what it is, a person is who they are, brings the conversation not to ‘Let’s see how we can fix this problem’ but brings it to ‘What do you want to do now? How do you want to act? Do you want to continue to live in the Orthodox community? If that’s what you want to do, let’s try to talk about what that might look like and what that might involve. What limitations on your expression of who you are will be necessary if you want to continue to function in the Orthodox community. If you do not want to live in the Orthodox community anymore, let’s see if we find the very best place for you so that you are comfortable in the sense that your personal commitment to tradition is respected and upheld with your sexual identity not being an issue that would in any way prevent you from expressing yourself completely.’

“That’s the conversation I would have. Because that’s helpful. That’s what a rabbi is intended to do. Not intended to ‘fix’ something that can’t be fixed and not to tell a person that their lives are over.”

“I was the baal koreh in Steve Greenberg‘s shul.”

“One of the points that Steve made early on, and that a lot of people have made since then, that to be gay or lesbian in the Orthodox community is extraordinarily challenging. It’s not the sort of thing a person would choose to do if they had a choice. I would take it for granted that if a person coming to me and saying, ‘I’m in the Orthodox community and I’ve always been in the Orthodox community’, I would take their word for it. It’s not something they would be making up.”

Gregg: “What about the parents?”

Rabbi Kanefsky: “Whenever I need to talk to the parent of one of my congregants, I try to put myself into the place of the parent. What if one of my children was coming to me about their child… The things that I think about are the beauty and the value and the potential and the dignity of my child and the recognition that most of the things we wish for our children don’t happen anyway. They get to a point early on where they are going to do what they want to do.

“The most important gift I can give my child is the gift of Judaism and the gift of desiring to leave the world a better place. I would be very troubled if I could not give one of those gifts. Beyond that, our children are going to make their own decisions.

“The worst thing a parent can do with a child is to back away from the relationship.”

Gregg says that many Orthodox siblings of out homosexuals have a hard time finding a shidduch (spouse).

Rabbi Kanefsky: “There’s a duality. I hope everyone appreciates the severity of this duality. Depending on where you are in the Orthodox community, the system by which people find spouses can be highly regimented, one that does not flow organically…but rather takes place within a regimented system that involves parents, teachers, rebbes, background checks.

“Everyone on the more liberal end of this issue [of homosexuality] needs to respect this reality. If I come out, then my brothers and sisters may have difficulty finding the right shidduch. That’s the sort of thing that falls on the shoulders as well of the sibling who has come out as gay or lesbian. They have to recognize, even as they have the right to expect love and support from their family, they have a responsibility to not damage the futures of their siblings.”

It seems that don’t ask, don’t tell is the quid pro quo for getting along as gay (or as one who deviates from any of Orthodox Judaism’s fundamental laws, not marrying and having sex with the same sex is a really big deviation from the Orthodox path as compared to quietly watching TV on Shabbos in the privacy of your own room) in most of the Orthodox community.

Rabbi Kanefsky: “Contrary to what you may have heard, Orthodox shuls are not entirely populated by people entirely observant of halacha.”

“Our commitments are clear. Our legal framework to which we are committed is a crisp and clear legal framework.”

Rabbi Kanefsky gives this hypotethetical example: “If I were to drive to shul on Shabbat, I don’t, I shouldn’t take my seat and say to the person next to me, ‘The 405 was terrible this morning.’ Everybody knows that I drive. I live 30 miles away.”

“It’s not fair to assume that your Orthodox community can formally officially recognize your identity because that would undermine the structure we live in, even as we know we’re all imperfect, we’re all struggling, we’re all short of the mark (halachah).”

“If any person wants to join an Orthodox shul, they should be embraced. They should be hosted like every other new member at everyone’s homes in the first two months, the rabbi’s home, the president’s home. That person should be brought into committees the person wants to be a part of. They should be a full member of the shul.

“If a lesbian couple were to adopt a child and their desire was that at the baby naming, they be named together as the parents of the child, that would fall under recognition and that’s an unfair expectation of an Orthodox community that it bestow full recognition on a gay or lesbian couple.”

Rabbi Kanefsky says that most people have close friends at shul who they can talk with about anything with. “One of the reasons we belong to a community of any type is to develop friends with whom we share everything. Rabbis are the only people who don’t have these friends.

“Of course someone will share who they are with their friends.”

The rabbi says that there is an age for children to learn about homosexuality and if you go earlier, it just won’t make any sense for them.

The rabbi talks about a junior at a yeshiva “when the Proposition 8 issue cropped up about a year and a half ago, he heard all kinds of things being said, including awful disgusting things, including from faculty members, and he stood alone.”

Rabbi Kanefsky discusses Rabbi Mayer Twersky‘s talk condemning the unofficial YU forum on homosexuality as “a desecration of God’s name”. Rabbi Kanefsky says Rabbi Twersky probably wants to ban discussion of homosexuality in the yeshiva setting and that he “represents the last effort to hold on to an anachronistic standard.”

A minute later, Rabbi Kanefsky says, “I’ve been hearing my own voice and I’ve been hearing an edge in my voice that I don’t associate with myself. I don’t mean that.”

Gregg keeps talking about “my husband and I.” They have a four-year-old daughter.

Rabbi Kanefsky opposed Proposition 8. “If the state is granting a civil right, we ought not to be rallying to withdraw that civil right.”

Rabbi: “I can’t speak for other shuls, but I say with confidence in our shul [Bnai David] there is no reason that sexual orientation has anything to do with receiving an aliyah or leading the tefillah (prayer).”

“I know that many of you recognize the sensitivity and creativity and frankly the guts that Bnai David has on that.”

The room applauds.

I think the rabbi’s wording is slippery. Orientation does not get much consideration in Torah. What about action that defies Torah? Isn’t that what counts in Judaism, not orientation? I am oriented towards all sorts of things that I do not allow myself to do. What about one who is out about living in a homosexual relationship? Why is this different than an Orthodox Jew being open about living in adultery or incest? Adultery, incest and man-on-man sex are all equally forbidden by the Torah (written and oral). Is homosexual sex sin different from other sexual sins? Is there a good reason why we need to be more sensitive about it?

Would Bnai David react identically to one living in a homosexual relationship to one living in another type of sexual relationship that is forbidden by the Torah?

In the three Modern Orthodox shuls in Pico-Robertson (Bnai David-Judea, YICC, Beth Jacob), sexual orientation seems to play no role in determining ritual honors.

Anat Hoffman says the Haredim in Jerusalem have stopped demonstrating against homosexual parades in Jerusalem because they didn’t want to explain to their children what they were protesting against.

Rabbi Kanefsky: “How can you be a religious leader without being engaged in the world? I credit my parents. When everybody on the block wanted to get together to buy that house so that a black family wouldn’t move in, my parents refused to participate.”

John emails: “I think its time there was an outpouring of sympathy on the part of Orthodox congregations for men with the alternative orientation of being into Asian women. How come there were no limmud sessions for that? Think how big that would be.”

My thoughts on this topic.

Posted in Bnai David-Judea, Homosexuality, Limmud, R. Yosef Kanefsky | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on Homosexuality And Orthodox Judaism

Frum Satire At Pacific Jewish Center

PJC’s rabbi Eliyahu Fink blogs:

Heshy Fried aka Frum Satire performed in front of a very diverse crowd of ~60 at the Pacific Jewish Center at the Shul on the Beach on Sunday February 14 2010 and it was incredible.

Heshy ranted for over an hour and the audience was captivated. He could have gone on for another hour and had everyone laughing all the way through.

I introduced Heshy and the show with an important message. Judaism, in many ways has become more about idiosyncrasies and self-defining labels than substance, lately. Sometimes we need a keen satirist to remind us that most of that stuff is just silliness. We need to remember what the important things are and when Heshy cuts through

Posted in Heshy Fried, PJC | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on Frum Satire At Pacific Jewish Center

Business Scandals Among LA Persian Jews

The Jewish Journal reports:

Just over a year ago, Ezri Namvar was forced into involuntary bankruptcy and accused by investors of creating a Ponzi scheme that lost as much as $500 million that had been loaned to him

Posted in Abuse, Jews, Los Angeles | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on Business Scandals Among LA Persian Jews

Seeds In The Wind

David Suissa writes in the Jewish Journal:

This is a time of year that I dread, when I have to write about my three days at LimmudLA, a smorgasbord of everything Jewish. It’s like trying to squeeze 10 or 12 columns into one.
Every class or event that I attended at LimmudLA was worthy of a separate story, whether it was Rabbi Michael Melchior’s outrage at the conversion process in Israel; Yoni Arbel, a student from Milken Community High School, telling us about the Jewish influence in jazz music; historian and BJE Executive Director Gil Graff mesmerizing us with the 12 questions that Napoleon used to challenge the loyalty of the Jewish community of France a couple of centuries ago; people lining up outside the Biale Rebbe’s hotel room to receive his blessings; storyteller Einat Lahav-Weitzman sharing her “chicken casserole for the soul”; Rabbi Ed Feinstein giving us the real scoop about the birth of Zionism; or simply the idea that a few hundred Jews were singing and dancing at the entrance of an Orange County hotel on a Saturday night during the Havdalah ceremony.

There was just too much going on.

Susan Freudenheim writes:

At Limmud, Melchior spoke of disputed conversions and of finding ways to talk to the Jews in the settlements. The Torah teaches that we should befriend those who want to be Jews, he pointed out, and yet in recent years, ultra-Orthodox leaders in Israel, adopting the most narrow and stringent standards of Jewish law, or halachah, have been annulling many conversions, even some Orthodox ones. In doing so, they have stripped converted Jews of essential rights, including the right to marry in Israel. After rabbis annulled one woman

Posted in Limmud, R. Michael Melchior | Tagged , , , , , , | Comments Off on Seeds In The Wind

Reclaim Your Reputation Online

Most people I know whine when they don’t like what a Google search reveals about them.

Then they either do nothing or they make stupid blustery threats.

That’s for losers.

If you don’t like what the internet says about you, then flood it with positive messages. Tell your story. Promote your company. Reveal your vision. Give something to the world.

If a top Google search result for your name reveals something bad, then flood the net with good stuff.

You don’t need me to do this for you. You can blog. You can post videos and podcasts. You can make profiles on various social networking sites. You can give the world quality original content with your name on it and promote yourself and your values.

And you can hire me to help you.

Luke Ford 264 S. La Cienega Blvd. #1417 BH, CA 90211 Fax: 310-388-0814 E-mail: [email protected]

Posted in Internet | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on Reclaim Your Reputation Online

Dennis Prager Applied The Smackdown To Wayward Camp Kids

Dennis Prager writes (and click this link for Wonkette’s rebuttal):

The Doritos kid deserved a physical response from this man

Posted in Dennis Prager | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off on Dennis Prager Applied The Smackdown To Wayward Camp Kids