How Many Orthodox Jews Are Happy About Being Jewish?

I am shocked at the high percentage of Orthodox Jews I meet who tell me that if they had a choice, they would not be Jewish. It’s too hard. Too much of a burden. But they feel obligated by tradition to keep it up.
My guess is that more than 50% of Orthodox Jews are not happy about being Jewish and are not happy about being observant and find the Torah much more of a pain than a blessing.

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Kissing Hands

About a decade ago, I saw a friend at Bnai David-Judea. I shook his hand and he immediately kissed the hand that I had just shaken.

I was moved. Over the next few months, I saw some old Sephardi men following the custom.

I thought, this is a beautiful custom. It made me feel amazing to have someone kiss his hand after shaking mine.

So tentatively and awkwardly, I adopted this custom about three years ago.

I asked an Ashkenazi friend about it today. He keeps pointing out the damn foolish baal teshuva type things I do in shul, so I wanted his help. I don’t want to look like I’m trying too hard to fit in. Where precisely on your hand do you kiss after you shake someone else’s hand?

He said it was the thumb. I’m not so sure.

Anyway, he told me it was a Sephardic practice and I should cut it out. It was stupid for me to do it.

I just Googled the topic and found this: “Today, it is mostly the practice of Sephardic Jews to kiss the hand upon meeting a Rabbi or Torah scholar, and it is considered a sign of great respect. Chassidic Jews sometimes kiss the hand of their Grand Rabbi.”

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Discouraged

Told a friend about a little something I did for somebody, and he responded, “You don’t seem like the type to do anything for anyone.” I was pained because I recognized the truth in his statement.

I was down the past 48 hours because my car died (awaiting final word from my mechanic), my feet hurt (plantar fascitis), my thumbs hurt, and the Cowboys offensive line is a mess. The NFL season starts Thursday night.

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Don’t Expect To Get Hired At A Major Los Angeles Law Firm If You Look Jewish

I don’t believe there is any major law firm in Los Angeles who would hire a lawyer who looked traditionally Jewish with the long beard, the yarmulke, the tzitzit out (unless the guy was extraordinarily connected). There are many Orthodox Jews working in law firms, but few of them wear their yarmulkes and beards (and those few that do, I doubt they wore them when they got hired).

I’ve heard stories about top ten percent law students who were on law reviews and published articles and clerked for top judges and no law firm in Los Angeles would hire them. They’d go into interviews and the interviewers would take one look at their yarmulkes and be done. That’s all they needed to see to conclude that this person would not fit in their law firm.

I know somebody in Los Angeles who was so financially desperate after not getting hired after more than 50 interviews, a top ten percent in his law class, that he shaved off his beard and took off his yarmulke and then he got hired on his first interview.

I know a lot of Orthodox Jewish lawyers in Los Angeles, but I can only think of a handful who wear yarmulkes at work (let alone a beard).

Report: Baruch Cohen, Esq., attended yeshiva from preschool to high school and spent six years studying in post high school yeshiva, before entering law school on Los Angeles. Prior to his law school graduation, in the late 1980s, the dean called him with interesting news. An extremely prestigious law firm had contacted him with an invitation for Baruch to interview.

This was an amazing development. First of all, Baruch had not even sent a resume to that firm. Secondly, even if he had, the chances of landing an interview were almost nil. This prominent Wall Street firm, which recently expanded into L.A., was one of the top in the nation and one of the most selective. Normally one would have to be a graduate of Harvard or Yale to even be considered by this firm. Baruch was a good student from a good law school, but the school’s ranking was not Ivy League high. In fact the dean told him that none of his graduates had ever been invited for an interview by this firm.

“Baruch, I know you always wore that religious skullcap all through law school, and you still wear it now that you are clerking in bankruptcy court, and I respect that,” the dean said, “But now you have an opportunity to get in to an elite firm. The skullcap could turn them off and cost you the job.”

Baruch was now torn. He had worn the yarmulke (ritual skullcap, also known as a kippah) all his life. As a kid he was beaten up by neighborhood boys for wearing it, but, he would rather have a bloody nose than no yarmulke on his head.

Before he entered law school he worried that pursuing a career in law could force him to remove his precious yarmulke. Indeed, to this point in his brief career he had always worn his yarmulke. But now he had an opportunity of a lifetime. The experience and prestige of being associated with this firm, as well as the six figure starting salary was a dream come true. He was starting a family. He had a wife and young daughter to support.

He did his due diligence and asked other religiously observant Jewish lawyers. They all told him that wearing a yarmulke at work was just not done. He even spoke with a prominent Rabbi who told him that it is permissible to go without a yarmulke to pursue a parnassa (livelihood). Yes, he could remove his yarmulke he thought – but did that mean he should?

After much soul searching, he finally decided that this was too big an opportunity to jeopardize, so he went to his interview bare headed. He still felt ill at ease, but at the same time he felt confident in that he had sought advice from the experts and that no matter how wrong it felt to him, he was doing what he was told to do. He went into the big fancy building and found his way to the interviewers office. He was seated in the reception area. Finally the secretary told him that he could go in to the interviewers office. He entered the room.

Nothing could have prepared him for the shock that awaited him. There in front of him was the interviewer, sitting at his desk, clad in a yarmulke. The interviewer looked at him and his uncovered head with equal shock and said, “Where is your yarmulke?”

Baruch was frozen. He was numb. He couldn’t even feel his hands to find which pocket his yarmulke was in.

The interviewer continued, “Do you know why you got this interview? I happened to be in bankruptcy court and saw you clerking for the judge. It intrigued me that someone in Los Angeles would have the conviction to proudly wear a yarmulke whiling working in a court. I researched you. I found that you spent six years studying Talmud, in a prominent yeshiva before entering law school. That is an outstanding combination.

“Now you show up to this interview without a yarmulke?!

“I also know that you come from a long line of Rabbis. You studied in the finest Yeshivos. I checked all that out before contacting your dean. Now when the opportunity presents itself, look at you. You’re a sellout. I am so deeply disappointed in you. You’ll never make it in this firm – this is a firm of leaders, not followers. This interview is over.”

Baruch was sent home reeling. He felt lower than he had ever felt before. He then shed tears, not because of the job, not because of the harshness of the rebuke; but because deep down he felt the interviewer was right.

He resolved from that point to only do the right thing, and never accept the argument from others that ‘this is the way things are done.’ From that point on he never removed his yarmulke for fear of what an employer, client or jury might think. Let them think what they will. He was determined to do the right thing and people would just have to recognize that. Today Baruch Cohen is a successful trial attorney in Los Angeles, who has inspired many with the profound perspective that he acquired the hard way.

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TNR’s Leon Wieseltier Attacks Self-Reliance

The New Republic’s Leon Wieseltier writes: “THE IDEAL of self-reliance in America has always been attended by a corollary of indifference to others, of nastiness.”

On his radio show Wednesday, Dennis Prager called this a vile remark and questioned if Wieseltier had any kids. Somebody with kids knows how important it is to inculcate self-reliance.

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Religion Vs Sports

In his speech last night to the RNC, Mitt Romney said: “We were Mormons and growing up in Michigan; that might have seemed unusual or out of place but I really don’t remember it that way. My friends cared more about what sports teams we followed than what church we went to.”

I grew up a Seventh-Day Adventist. I did not have non-Adventist friends until after we left the church in the summer of 1980 (when I was 14).

As an Orthodox Jew, I would think it the norm for my fellow Orthodox Jews to primarily have friends who were Orthodox Jews. This would be 100 times more important than what sports team you followed.

I get what Romney is saying. America is about as tolerant society as has ever existed. Americans don’t tend to judge people by their religion but rather by their fruits. If you’re a good person, that’s what we care about.

But if you’re a member of a sect, such as Adventism or JW or Orthodox Judaism, that membership is going to be far more important than dividing people up by race or sports team affiliation. Some sociologist said that religions could be divided into sects and the big-tent approach. I’m used to religion as a high-commitment that divides the world primarily into “us” and “them.” I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that so long as there is no teaching about hurting innocent members of other groups.

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Mia Love Vs Maxine Waters

On his radio show this week, Dennis Prager said that if you want to know the difference between Republicans and Democrats, contrast Mia Love (or Condi Rice or Artur Davis) with Maxine Waters. Mia Love is a positive happy woman. Maxine Waters drips with contempt for this country.

Mia: “The American Dream belongs to each of us. If you want to create a life for yourself, all you have to do is to get government out of the way. That is the only way you can have a great life and contribute to society.””

Dennis: “I have been to the last two Democrat conventions. And I’ve been to the Republican. The single biggest difference is that everyone featured at the RNC is happy. Loves American opportunity. Extolls the country and thanks it. The opposite is in the Democrat convention. The people they bring on remind me of Queen for a Day. People talk about how terrible life is for them. Look at me, I can’t work. I’m downtrodden. And all of us need more help from the government. Not from each other. Not from our community. Not from our church.”

“It’s depressing to be at a Democrat convention. America is racist. America is sexist. America deprives its minorities of opportunity. America’s only hope is more from the state.”

“Republicans are grateful for America. Democrats have contempt for America.”

“Contrast Mia Love with Maxine Waters and you then know the difference between happy and healthy and bitter and angry. The task of the left has been to keep as many blacks as bitter and angry as possible. The task of Republicans has been to make everybody as grateful and happy as possible. It’s a happiness battle.”

“Maxine Waters radiates bitterness every time she speaks.”

“There’s no hate here in Tampa. It’s a one-way hatefest. It’s left right the hate.”

“I am witnessing the resurgence of American values.”

Dennis says his book is the best-selling conservative book of the last four months.

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Is Our America White America?

On his radio show today, Dennis Prager did not say anything about Clint Eastwood’s performance last night at the RNC.

A caller said: “I was talking to some African-American co-workers and they said the speech by Clint Eastwood about ‘our America’, their perceptions were that he was talking about white people.”

Dennis: “This is a good example of left-wing poison. There is no truth nor logic to what they said. When Condileeza Rice and Mia Love and Artu Davis said ‘my country’ speaking to the same audience, what did they mean?”

Caller: “Could conservatives think about how they say things to African-Americans?”

Dennis: “No, no, no. It’s sick thinking and I will not stoop to the level of the Left. If I can’t say ‘my country’ because some black has been poisoned by the Left to think that I mean white country, there’s no hope. We’ll move on. It’s sick. It was a primarily Christian audience. Did they mean ‘my Christian audience’? I’m Jewish.”

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What Was The Dominant Idea At The Republican Convention?

On his radio show today, Dennis Prager said: “The dominant idea at the Republican convention was self-reliance. All the stories were of people surmounting adversity and becoming a success. The Democrats have stories about people who are suffering and need government help. Republicans have stories about people who were suffering and worked their tails off and found some success.”

“Polls show that conservatives are happier than liberals. I’d argue that it is because conservatives are more into self-reliance.”

“People are happier when they rely on themselves. Why do people fear being incapacitated? Because then you have to rely on others.”

“How can you argue that relying on the state will make you happier? It can’t.”

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Are There Such Stories About Barack Obama?

On his radio show today, Dennis Prager said: “The most important part of the evening [at the Republican convention] for those there was the fuller picture of Mitt Romney. I was moved by the testimonies to this man’s character.”

From the USA TODAY:

One of the more poignant stories told about Mitt Romney’s generosity came from Pam Finlayson, whose daughter was born three months premature. Finlayson, a member of the same Mormon church as the Romneys, recalled how Mitt Romney would visit at the hospital when daughter Kate was in the intensive care unit.

“I will never forget that when he looked down tenderly at my daughter, his eyes filled with tears, and he reached out gently and stroked her tiny back,” Finlayson said. “I could tell immediately that he didn’t just see a tangle of plastic and tubes. … He was clearly overcome with compassion for her.”

Speaking on NBC’s Today show, Ann Romney said the stories told by friends such as Ted and Pat Oparowski, who lost their son to cancer, helped other people see “the emotional side of him that I know so well.”

Dennis: “Are there such stories about Barack Obama? Did he go over to families and help out people who were sick? To no acclaim and to no expectation that this will be made public? Romney is of a church and of a demeanor where these things are assumed, not proclaimed. This is how you act when you’re a faithful member of this church. It’s irrelevant your station in life. I knew a man whose bishop was his haircutter.”

“I know from my own synagogue life that it is absolutely irrelevant what you do for a living or if you even make a living. You’re another member of the congregation and we help you and you help me and we enjoy each other. Where is that in secular life?”

“Politics is not a substitute for personal goodness. It is on the Left.”

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