Luke Ford

When I take on worthy endeavors, such as religion or work or self-improvement, I often get this voice in my head that says, “You don’t have to take this too seriously.”

I think I first developed this as a kid. I never liked doing anything I wasn’t into. So when I had subjects at school I disliked, I just told myself, “You don’t have to take this seriously.”

When I realized at about age eight that the things I wanted most — success in this world — were of little consequence to my religion — I think I started saying to myself about the Seventh-Day Adventism I was raised in, “You don’t have to take this too seriously.”

Converting to Judaism was a shock. It’s hard to convert from a non-ritualistic religion to a ritualistic one. So as the rituals started piling up and I wasn’t into them, I’d tell myself at times, “You don’t have to take this too seriously.” Mind you, on plenty of occasions I said to myself, “You need to change your slovenly ways. You need to take this seriously.”

I entered psycho-therapy in 1998. I went every week, religiously. I read the books recommended to me. My life lurched from crisis to crisis over the next decade. At times with regard to therapy, I said to myself, “You don’t have to take this too seriously.”

With my last therapist in 2011, I said to him, “I often think that I just fine-tuned things, I could be great.” He recommended, however, that I seek major change.

I took up Alexander Technique in 2008. On few occasions did I say to myself, “You don’t have to take this too seriously.”

I’ve long found it hard to put much attention into my work if I wasn’t into it. I’ve never done well at anything I wasn’t passionate about.

I love irony and sarcasm but those who are building the greatest accomplishments tend to be deadly serious. The biggest winners I know aren’t ironic.

Sarcasm and irony tend to be markers of those who are detached. They’re not going anywhere in life and they know it.

Rael emails: Hi Luke, next part of the interview if you are so interested.

1) Luke why do you like to write? What motivates you? Do you write for you as a sort of an intellectual diary, or do you write for the
readers out there? Do you have an “agenda” or do you just write from
the heart.

LF: I write out of an internal compulsion. I suspect that if I got psychologically healthy and learned to connect normally with others, I’d have much less drive to write.

When I write well (and I measure this by whether or not I like to read what I wrote), I feel like I’m doing what I was put on earth to do.

When I have an agenda, it’s clear in my writing. When I write from the heart, that’s clear too.

Rael: 2) You write very frankly and openly, often going into very personal details. How does that make you feel, and is there anything you regret having written?

LF: To write frankly, I have to put out of my head how people will react. Then, when I come back to people, I often feel embarrassed by what I’ve written.

I write because of the distance I feel from others, and by writing as I do, I increase that distance. There are many things I regret having published on my blog. Over the past couple of years, I’ve taken down many things that were gross.

3) What is the number one issue you would want to fix in the Jewish world?

LF: Any cause that I espouse will just bring disrepute to that cause, so I probably shouldn’t say anything. I have so many emotional addictions (all at root stem from an intimacy disorder) that my thinking and my will are corrupt and should not to be trusted.

4) What are your goals for the year ahead?

LF: I’d like to write well, to put on a one-man play about how 12-step work helped me with my emotional addictions, to make money and friends, and to find a Jewish woman to marry.

5) Came across an interesting quote online: “Avraham was 99 at his
circumcision, initiating a 3,700 year old covenant. No matter your
age, you can still make a lasting impression!”
Luke what is your contribution to mankind, how would you like to be remembered?

LF: I want to skip this.

I sometimes get asked to speak in Jewish life. Usually the organizers want inspiration. They want me to inspire people to take Judaism more seriously. I don’t feel comfortable doing that. I just feel comfortable with sharing like I do in 12-step meetings — here’s what I’ve done, here’s what I felt like, and here’s what helped me. It might help you too.