I Was In The Middle Of A Healing Tantric Circle

Obligation after obligation. Cold shower after cold shower. Stretch after stretch, chant after chant.

Must rush out of yoga Friday afternoon and park my car far away and hit the bakery and get some challah before Shabbat and then home to watch the "Not Kosher" side of Robert Cait’s new DVD.

Then interview him at 3pm.

Done. Must transcribe. Have a thought on reporter Joshua Prager leaving the Wall Street Journal.

Exhausted. Must rest. Gather my strength. 8 pm. Shabbat dinner at friends.

10:30 pm. Push myself to the Jewish thing.

11:45 pm. Ready to come home.

12:15 am. Home.

Don’t leave house Saturday.

Sunday morning, rush off to hear Geert Wilders.

They say that the road Aint no place to start a family Right down the line Its been you and me And lovin a music man Aint always what its supposed to be Oh girl you stand by me Im forever yours…faithfully.

Passover shop at Glatt Mart. Pick up Benadryl at Walgreens. Headache coming on. Gulping water. Try to nap. Unwritten stories push me back to the computer. Make two updates to PicoRob.com.

Headache grows stronger.

I walk to yoga and down four cups of yogi tea.

Teacher pushes us hard. "Go! Go! Go!" she yells.

My head aches.

The teacher pushes us to do a violent swinging exercise to release anger. I’m doing it half-assed when the teacher calls me out: "You particularly need to do this one!"

I put more effort in, then relax with a nice cup of tea.

It’s time for the healing tantric circle. She asks for a volunteer. As soon as she says the person doesn’t need to do anything, he can just lie there, I raise my hand and she picks me.

Everyone gathers around me and holds hands. "Wahe Guru," says the leader and then the whole group echoes "Wahe Guru" and then the leader says "Satnam" and then the next person says "Wahe Guru" and the cycle begins again.

I’m surrounded by hot chicks holding hands and chanting wahe guru.

I know what this will lead to:

You make me weep and wanna die
Just when you said we’d try
Lovin’, touchin’, squeezin’ each other

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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