The only good thing about growing old (aside from a growing sense of serenity) is that all the chicks who’ve rejected you are getting old too and no longer have the ability to hurt you.
I’ve lost my head over a lot of women in my time. I do have an unfortunate tendency to moon over attractive women. Now I’m 42 and many of the women who’ve kicked me to the curb over the past 30 years have lost the bloom off their rose. And they’re still single!
I wouldn’t have been such a bad choice, but they turned up their surgically enhanced noses at me. Now they’re fat and they can’t get a man and I’m glad.
I’m Luke Ford and I endorse this message.
PS. I want to get in Sarah’s igloo (but the Torah forbids me).
