Pops emails:
Dear son:
It breaks my heart to realize how badly I failed in trying to raise you to be an honest, forthright and righteous human being. Your behavior and reaction to your latest removal from a shul just shows me how I would have been entirely justified in smothering you with own placenta when you came mewling out of your dead mum’s womb. Instead of trying to assign blame for your latest rejection on everybody but yourself, take a look at your earlier ejections. All have been because YOU have been deceitful, dishonest and fraudulent in your actions. Stop saying you are on a quest for "truth." The only thing you’re interested in is yourself. Your veiled threats against members of your former shul are embarrassing to me and, more importantly, yourself. I raised you better. Your brother Paul doesn’t act like such a bloody ponce. I swear to all that I hold dear, I will shove a burst cane toad down your gullet if you don’t start acting in a decent manner. And you’ll know it too, boy. I’m not so old that I can’t fetch you a wallop to the noggin.
Sincerely,
Dad
