It’s so much easier to fool myself during daylight hours. It’s late at night when I’m tossing and turning that I see uncomfortable truths about myself, that I’m not entirely on the right track, that I’m selfish and self-centered, and I get so anxious and worried about the pain I’m headed for because I’m too lazy to change. I think this is the reason I’ve had troubled sleep most of my life (except for when I managed to exhaust myself during the day with exercise, or when I was a part of a community such as when I stayed at PUC with the Muths during high school summers). I’m confident, however, that three more months of FB emoting will cure me of these problems and my career as a motivational speaker will launch.
* It never occurs to me that I know better than experts in a particular field, so it is breathtaking to me when my smart accomplished charming lawyer friend is continually going off on how he knows better on how to monetize content than the entire newspaper industry, than Hollywood, than the genre industry in the Valley, etc. It would never occur to me that I know more about medicine than a doctor or more about law than a lawyer or more about geology than a geologist or more about Torah than a rabbi. Getting born Jewish gives one a confidence that this convert has yet to acquire. Or as one chick told me after converting to Judaism, “Jewish men don’t know their level” (aka the socially retarded ones still go for women out of their league).
