Earning Your Love

On his radio show today, Dennis Prager made the case against unconditional love. “No matter how I treat her, I will get love?

“People should feel that they should earn the love of their spouse every day. Didn’t you feel that when you dated? When you dated, didn’t you try to earn the love of the person you were seeking? Why should that stop after you marry?

“You wanted to look your best, smell your best, act your best, when you were dating. Why shouldn’t you want to look your best, smell your best and act your best after you marry?

“You know before you marry that there is no unconditional love. The love is conditioned on how you act. So why should that notion stop after the wedding?”

“You get unconditional love or you get romantic love but you don’t get both. If you think that no matter how you act, the person will still love you the same, you won’t act as well.

“If you were told at work that no matter what you did, you would get the same salary, would you work as hard? The idea of an unconditional salary is absurd, but why is that different from unconditional love in a marriage?”

“You get better behavior when people have to earn love.”

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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