Many people when they are on a date are worried about what the other person is thinking about them.
Many people at work are worried about what the boss thinks of them.
Many people at school are worried about what the teacher thinks of them.
This sort of negative self-talk is normal but it does not have to rule you.
A much better way to use your thinking is to consider your use of your self. Is my neck free? Is my head releasing forward and up? Is my back lengthening to widen? Am I holding in my hips? Are my ankles free?
With Alexander Technique, you learn to direct yourself through life so that instead of taking up space in your brain thinking bad things about yourself you can concentrate instead on how efficiently you’re operating.
Try thinking this: “I have too much to do and not enough time to do it.”
Notice what effect this has on your musculature and your breathing. Most people when they think the above thought tense up and compress. They then operate less efficiently and get less done.
Instead, try thinking this: “I’ve got all the time I need.” What effect does that thought have on your musculature and your breathing? Most people will find themselves relaxing and breathing more deeply. When you can let go of interfering tension patterns, you will operate more efficiently and get more done in less time.
Many people compress themselves during difficult times. They instinctively feel that if they make themselves smaller, life will hurt them less. It doesn’t work. Much better to take up your full space in the world. Nobody enjoys being around someone who’s all compressed and deformed. We’d all prefer to be with someone who’s expanded and free of unnecessary tension.
People won’t treat you better if you make yourself small and tight and inconsequential. Instead, they’ll likely treat you with contempt.
We prefer to be around people who make us feel good. Somebody tense and taut is off-putting. When they touch you, it’s icky. The quality of someone’s touch is a great indicator of how much body tension they have. If someone is pulled down, their walk and their touch will be heavy. If somebody is directing up and out, their walk and their touch will be light. The way they relate to themselves and to other people will be easy.
