Men And Women From Broken Homes

I’ve never forgotten when pick-up artist Neil Strauss told me he wouldn’t date women from broken homes. They had too much psychological baggage.

I was struck by that and thought back over my relationships and I remembered all the turbulence I had trying to relate to women from broken homes and I contrasted that with the more easy-going relationships with women from good families.

So I’m listening to Dennis Prager’s radio show today. “Dennis talks to CNN political analyst and fellow talk show host, Bill Bennett, about his new book, The Book of Man: Readings on the Path to Manhood.”

And Bill Bennett quotes an admission officer at Yale who says that if they admitted solely on merit, women would get about 70% of the new admissions.

Bennett says that in a turbulent society filled with social dysfunction, women do better and men fall apart.

So I thought about women I know from dysfunctional upbringings and it is true. Most of them are successful with their careers. But try to have a relationship with one and that’s when the dysfunction comes out.

So I think that in general, a smart woman from a broken home will more often than not be successful in her career and unsuccessful in her relationships. A man from a broken home will likely be a failure in both categories.

I’m thinking about one woman in particular who I dated. Her parents were swingers. She used to live part-time in apartments with her dad who’d always be bringing home shiksas and banging them. “Hell is listening to your dad ****ing,” she told me.

This woman is high-achieving in the world. She’s smart and funny and articulate. And impossible to have a relationship with. Due to the horror of her childhood, she’s filled with contempt for men. And who wants to have a relationship with somebody who has contempt for you?

I kept asking myself during our time going out, “Why does she have so much contempt for me? No other woman I’ve dated has had this much contempt for me. Hmm, it must not be me. This is her baggage.”

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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