I’m Live On My Cam!

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Guest43:  luke you are a grecian god without any formula
Guest43:  mmm… breakfast of champions
welshdragon:  lo u’re up early
Guest43:  he was partying with they young ones last night
welshdragon:  just got out of shower?
Guest43:  2 20’s go into 40 very well i hear
guest29:  Like the slick hair πŸ™‚
YourMoralLeader:  thanks!
guest28:  he’s wet & wild
guest29:  Is that cholent grease?
YourMoralLeader:  how did you know?
YourMoralLeader:  how was your shabbat?
guest28:  no it’s suntan oil leftover from the friday fry in the garden
guest29:  peacfull
guest28:  i was wailiing over the weill departure
guest29:  Did Weill bop anyone on Shabbat?
guest29:  if he did he may have to stay in L.A. even longer
guest28:  he’s saving his hands for the ou
guest29:  where’s Emma?
guest29:  she left you already?
guest28:  she’s tending to the horses
YourMoralLeader:  I hope not!
YourMoralLeader:  she’ll be here soon
YourMoralLeader:  I really like that girl
YourMoralLeader:  She’s my beshert!
guest29:  nothing like the anticipation
guest29:  she likes you more…
YourMoralLeader:  she’s awesome
guest28:  i hope there won’t be a let down on both your parts …all that build up…& not in your hair
guest29:  she has a neshama
guest28:  a pure neshama
guest29:  when is she coming?
YourMoralLeader:  june?
guest28:  our song is on .. i am now coming
guest29:  to see you?
guest28:  i am going to exercise now
guest28:  a june bride would be nice
guest29:  I think you should elope
guest29:  save your $ to buy her baubles and such
guest29:  although she seems very down to earth
guest29:  perhaps some horse paraphenalia
guest28:  are you prepared for emma not to be into you once she meets you??? it may happen although you may win her heart with your charm & great looks
YourMoralLeader:  I hope she’ll be into me
guest29:  where do you think you two will take up residence?
YourMoralLeader:  but if not, I’ll just slash my wrists.
guest28:  hope & PRAY WELL
YourMoralLeader:  in LA, though if I make $$$, I’d like to move to Jerusalem.
guest28:  i will be there to tape you up
guest29:  I hope not near the breslovers
guest29:  cuz once you have the 8 kids
guest28:  oy vey another conversion is Emma-next ??
guest29:  you don’t want to have their influence in child rearing
guest29:  it is 8 little wallabees, correct?
guest28:  i just love when you sing along with that aussielicious accent  !!
YourMoralLeader:  we’ll be Modern Orthodox
YourMoralLeader:  Emma doesn’t like the bar scene either
guest28:  m/o  is the way to go
guest29:  OK than only 3.5 kids
guest28:  .5 is the kid i want to know about
guest28:  tie me up you wild aussie you
guest31:  Is that Emma’s pic?
guest28:  kosher gum ?
YourMoralLeader:  yes
guest28:  her eyes pierce right through to my heart if that is indeed her real picture
YourMoralLeader:  yes
guest28:  then i am too  in love with her even though i am a woman
guest31:  WOW.. then I fully understand
guest31:  she really does look pure
guest28:  pure as driven la snow
YourMoralLeader:  she’s just 18
YourMoralLeader:  I’ve seen her on her cam a couple of times
guest31:  what is she taking up in school
YourMoralLeader:  she looks like an 18yo Princess Di
YourMoralLeader:  horses
YourMoralLeader:  The Judaic studies program was all filled up.
guest28:  but are you prepared to be rejected ?? you must protect yourself in case 
YourMoralLeader:  hi emma!!!!!!!!1111111111111111
guest31:  but she is extremely mature
Emma:  Hey Luke!
guest31:  Speaking of the angel!!
YourMoralLeader:  we’re talking about you1
Emma:  Oh
guest31:  JD Studies ha ha
Emma:  All good I hope
YourMoralLeader:  They were preparing me for rejection
guest31:  good one!
Emma:  lol
guest28:  i will teach her to make you a good cholent
guest31:  no for reality
Emma:  Horses
Emma:  Yep
YourMoralLeader:  I need an Emma FAQ on my site
guest31:  yes that would be helpful
YourMoralLeader:  working on that now
guest28:  emma you had me at your eyes they are soulful & quite breathtaking

guest31:  when was the pic taken?
Emma:  Few months back
guest28:  yes i am  i never lie unless you ask me how much i weigh
Emma:  How are you Luke?
Emma:  I missed ya!
YourMoralLeader:  I missed you too
YourMoralLeader:  I’m good. How was your weekend?
guest31:  emma are your folks a good looking couple?
Emma:  It was fine thanks
Emma:  Ummm I guess so 31
guest31:  and your sibs?  Are they pleasing to the eye?
Emma:  Yeah they are
guest31:  you i suppose are the ugly duckling?
Emma:  lol thanks
guest31:  you missed the kangaroo song…do you want to hear it now?
guest28:  emma dear i you ready for a culture shock to the system ?
guest31:  shock us…
Emma:  Ive heard it before 31
guest28:  i am afraid for you emma…it maybe too much for you to handle in all seriousness
Emma:  What is that?
guest28:  when you come to la ..it may be overwhelming for you
guest28:  this is aside from luke
Emma:  I doubt that
YourMoralLeader:  I’m like a gentle breeze on a summer’s day.
guest28:  more like a ‘ gentile’ breeze
User Maria changed their name to laura.
YourMoralLeader:  https://lukeford.net/blog/?p=2738
laura:  hey there
YourMoralLeader:  Laura is on leave from the army?
guest28:  no breeze today …it is hot like hell
laura:  lol
YourMoralLeader:  u must be in the valley, 28
Emma:  omg lmfao!
Emma:  Thats funny Luke
guest28:  no city gal
laura:  hey ems
laura:  πŸ™‚
Emma:  Hi
laura:  love u lol
guest28:  i’m gonna go to coffe tea leaf too cool me off !!
YourMoralLeader:  luv u 2
laura:  ems lmao
Emma:  lol Ok Laura
guest28:  let us all have an intervention & come over & shave the beard ..are you with me ?
guest28:  we will also manicure your lawn for the same price
guest28:  chest hair is included in the deal
guest28:  if there is any
laura:  hey luke how are you?
guest35:  Luke, real nice job on the Emma FAQ’s
Emma:  lol its funny
guest35:  Quite accurate
guest35:  who is your fact checker?
YourMoralLeader:  35, how do you know the accuracy?
YourMoralLeader:  I’m well Laura
YourMoralLeader:  I’m on leave from the Marines
guest35:  touche….
User guest31 left the room.
YourMoralLeader:  just back from baghdad
Emma:  I see you have been chatting about me
laura:  lol
laura:  sure…..
guest35:  from the actual chats from whence your gleened all this valuable info
YourMoralLeader:  ahh
laura:  πŸ™‚
YourMoralLeader:  I got my info in very private and intense web cam sessions
YourMoralLeader:  I’m doing top secret work for Mossad about Iran right now Laura.
laura:  really?
guest35:  I see, so this is not the full version  of FAQs
Emma:  no laura
laura:  lol share
Emma:  lol
guest28:  i’d like to be your fat checker
guest35:  please schedule another Kedem grape juice session soon
guest28:  i think the supply is low at Ralphs
guest35:  have you ever thought of switching to welchs?
guest28:  try welchs it sounds less jewish & more irish
guest35:  Did you make kiddush this shabbat?
YourMoralLeader:  yes
YourMoralLeader:  shabbas morning
guest35:  how was the anxiety level?
laura:  luke can you post my pic on your guest book if i email it to u?
guest28:  how i would have loved to be inspired by that kiddush
YourMoralLeader:  Have all the goyim been to church today?
YourMoralLeader:  yes laura!
Emma:  lol
guest35:  how many words did you flub up?
YourMoralLeader:  I did the kiddush only to myself saturday morning so there was no anxiety
YourMoralLeader:  I did a short version, so none.
guest28:  luke does not flub he just says it alittle differently
guest35:  I was at confessional
YourMoralLeader:  Emma, church today?
YourMoralLeader:  35, what did you confess?
Emma:  Yep
guest35:  being in this chat room
guest28:  words don’t mean as much as your kavanah
guest35:  excessively
guest28:  amen to that
guest35:  5 hail marys and all is forgiven
YourMoralLeader:  I had Friday night dinner with some outgoing Jews, they made me look restrained and proper. That was cool.
YourMoralLeader:  What’s your favorite book of the Bible, Emma?
Emma:  Revelation
YourMoralLeader:  Laura, when you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
YourMoralLeader:  Emma, you were supposed to say Luke.
Emma:  looool
Emma:  oops
laura:  always a soldier
Emma:  It’s Luke
YourMoralLeader:  The Gospel of Luke
laura:  well up until i was about 6 before that i wanted a police women lol
Emma:  you wanted a police woman?
Emma:  Laura?
Emma:  lol
laura:  to be cheeky lol
YourMoralLeader:  do you like men with big guns?
guest28:  no just straight shooters
laura:  of course
YourMoralLeader:  who doesn’t?
guest28:  its not the gun but the ammo
guest39:  Laura, do you and Emma share clothing?
Emma:  No we don’t 39
guest28:  39 you ask weird questions
guest39:  do you share your food?
Emma:  I buy my own…
guest28:  do you share your men ? now that’s a question
Emma:  lol no
YourMoralLeader:  so what did you do this weekend Emma?
guest28:  cut away
YourMoralLeader:  have you two ever dated the same guy?
Emma:  Got a dvd and sat in
guest39:  at the same time?
Emma:  No never
guest39:  what flick?
guest28:  i wish i was there to bite away at ALL your fingers & extensions
YourMoralLeader:  what DVD?
guest39:  Flicka?
Emma:  Pearl Harbour
guest39:  heard it was a BOMB
guest28:  i will bring the cuticule oil & give you a hand massage
guest39:  no happy ending
guest28:  under the table of course
Emma:  You wish
guest28:  wishes do come true
guest39:  nailed that one hu?
guest39:  no tanning today?
Emma:  What did you do over the weekend Luke?
guest39:  too hot?
guest28:  unless you’d rather be fingered !!
guest28:  now give us the finger
YourMoralLeader:  Friday night, shul, then went with new friends for shabbat dinner till about 1 am, then shul in the morning, hung out with new friends till 1:30, nap, then back to shul in the evening, rabbi gave a big talk on hard work, prayer
guest39:  a clean one please
guest28:  will you and emma both wear wedding bands if it leads to that ??
YourMoralLeader:  third meal, back to my computer, attempted to go out and gave up and went to bed
Emma:  busy
Emma:  lol
YourMoralLeader:  Orthodox Jewish men do not wear jewelry
guest39:  but your MO
guest28:  but modern orthodox do
guest39:  doesn’t go with the bekeshe?
guest28:  we must be twins
guest28:  we are
guest39:  lol 28
guest39:  seperated at birth
guest39:  is this a sisters only chat?
YourMoralLeader:  I’m alone in here with four women!
guest39:  I never date a guy who has more jewels than I
guest28:  i see you with a nipple ring but better watch out at the airport
guest39:  how about your family jewels?
YourMoralLeader:  I got a piercing in a very private place
Emma:  lol
YourMoralLeader:  but only emma gets to see that, and not until we’re married.
guest39:  you have nice nips Luke
Emma:  lmao
guest28:  im yirtzeh hashem
Emma:  Can’t wait
guest28:  no the beard does
guest28:  emma will have microdermabrasion if you don’t shave soon
guest39:  don’t be so cheeky 28
guest28:  which cheeks are we referring
guest39:  which elbow do you think?
laura:  boing boing boing…….
Emma:  lol
guest39:  how about some Carpenters?
guest28:  my song yeah
laura:  def a song to make you go craaaaaazzzzzy
laura:  lol
guest28:  no i love it
YourMoralLeader:  Emma’s bringin on the heartbreak
guest39:  not if you’re a roo
laura:  lol
guest28:  luke you are rigtht..i have now gained some weight back in my boobs doing your exercises
YourMoralLeader:  Thank the good L-rd
guest39:  your cups runneth over
guest39:  very uplifting
Emma:  what the juice excersise?
Emma:  Love this song (Love Bites by Def Leppard)
Emma:  forget Libera Luke.. this is our song
Gina:  tough to dance to
Emma:  Who said anything about dancing?
Gina:  but you’ll wing it I’m sure
YourMoralLeader:  Emma’s first appearance in my chat room: https://lukeford.net/blog/?p=2513
YourMoralLeader:  March 21
YourMoralLeader:  I love this song
Emma:  Almost a month
YourMoralLeader:  whoa, we’ve moved quickly!
Emma:  Havn’t we!
Gina:  what you got planned for the 1 month anniversary?
guest28:  dinner & a movie ?
Gina:  can we come along?
Gina:  as back up?
guest28:  we always have your back
Gina:  I want his front!
guest28:  you get the top I will go for the bottom all 5 inches
Emma:  Sorry..all mine
Gina:  mum never told you about sharing M?
Emma:  In this case
guest28:  i see lukes ego inflate right in front of my eyes
Emma:  I will be greedy
YourMoralLeader:  I don’t need levitra any more
Gina:  does lavitra work better for you than viagra?
Gina:  did you check if they are chometz?
Gina:  ‘cmon Luke, can’t I get a rise out of ya?
User guest56 ( entered the room.
YourMoralLeader:  my doc prescribes levitra
YourMoralLeader:  viagra gave me a headache
YourMoralLeader:  but since I came to emma, i’ve no longer needed pharmacology
Gina:  OK, do you know Emma’s schedule?
Emma:  woo hoo
YourMoralLeader:  yes
YourMoralLeader:  you mean monthly cycle?
Gina:  yup
Gina:  nida or not
YourMoralLeader:  she gets violent before her period
YourMoralLeader:  throws things
Emma:  lool
Gina:  midol should help
Emma:  He will know when he is dodging something heavy
Gina:  Emma are you OK with the family purity laws?
Gina:  2 weeks on / 2 weeks off
User OhtheIrony left the room.
YourMoralLeader:  I haven’t taught her about them yet
Gina:  ironic how he left like that
Emma:  Nope I don’t know of them
Gina:  she’ll have to go to kallah classes
Gina:  and challah classes as well
Gina:  barefoot and in the kitchen
Gina:  making your dough rise
guest61:  go back to your families
guest61:  your works strike no sparks
guest61:  are there no cleaning jobs in your countries?
guest61:  busy yourselves with domestic chores
guest61:  they have no knowledge of the holy books
guest28:  how’s it hanging chaim ??
OldAbraham:  I wish I knew who you people were
guest61:  they embarass themselves
OldAbraham:  For all I knowk you are all etrannies
guest61:  with their ignorance
Gina:  not like you 61
guest61:  no
guest61:  I walk with the leader
guest28:  avraham avinu…i feel i know you not biblically of course
OldAbraham:  Fleygelas trying to get into my pants
guest28:  shalom al isroel
guest61:  Sodom and Gommorah
OldAbraham:  But I tell you, there you will find nothing but a small strip of kosher bacon
guest61:  ignorance
guest28:  but that small strip has so much flavor
guest61:  racists
OldAbraham:  You who wish sexual release from the cares of life must look to The Man – Luke – for that
guest61:  we wish only to be rid of fools like you
guest28:  i can’t its you i crave
OldAbraham:  Male or female, it would matter not, for when engaged in coitus,  Luke’s thoughts are with the oral law
guest61:  do your mothers know you are here
guest61:  shming them
guest61:  shaming*
OldAbraham:  Why are YOU here
OldAbraham:  Have you nothing better to do?
OldAbraham:  You are a shame for the Jewish people
guest61:  I keep the beast from the gate
guest61:  The filth from the fountain
OldAbraham:  You are the reason Hitlers come along
Gina:  Abe you were young when you came here
Gina:  now look at you
guest28:  i finished all my pesach cleaning i am all yours abraham for the taking
Gina:  to the highest bidder
OldAbraham:  guest28, I’m afraid geography keep us apart, again
guest61:  go and found your own religion for cretins
guest28:  no we live in the same city…
guest61:  Sodom
OldAbraham:  where is that…..
guest61:  Sodom
guest28:  you know brookyn
guest61:  it stinks
OldAbraham:  Sounds like the name of a celebrity’s daughter
guest28:  which celebrity ?
User guest64 left the room.
guest61:  see how they compete to see who is the stupidest
OldAbraham:  I forget
guest61:  begone
OldAbraham:  some celebrity
guest28:  61 go to gehenem
User guest61 was banned by broadcaster/admin.
User guest61 left the room.
OldAbraham:  So Luke, who was g61?
YourMoralLeader:  no idea
guest28:  69 i would know
OldAbraham:  Someone from the orthodox underworld?
Gina:  mossad perhaps
OldAbraham:  NO, a Templar
guest28:  someone from the sons of david ?
OldAbraham:  G28, if you live in Brooklyn, then tell me this: where do the hipsters roam?
guest28:  abraham what kind of matzohs did you buy??
OldAbraham:  Trippple shmura, of course
Gina:  willy B
guest28:  hipsters are so overated
OldAbraham:  Where do the Munkacer Hassidim hang out?
guest28:  you are cruising for hipsters now???
Gina:  the mikva
OldAbraham:  Hipsters often need to go to the mikvah
guest28:  minkatch stinckatch
OldAbraham:  any place with water
OldAbraham:  Hey Luke, there is this anarchy conference today I’m thinking of going to
Gina:  gotta go check up on Emma, brb
OldAbraham:  I’m thinking of attending a panel entitled "Anarchist people of color (APOC) Caucs
OldAbraham:  I don’t know who any of you are
User guest66 left the room.
OldAbraham:  Gina . . . G28 . . . Emma.  You could all be the same person.  The internet is full of people assuming false identies, I hear.
guest28:  abraham i am the one with the big yichus
OldAbraham:  A yichus that just won’t quit?
guest28:  we were intimate on line…gedenkst nisht ?
OldAbraham:  What size is your yichus?
OldAbraham:  I am never intimate online
OldAbraham:  Nor offline.
OldAbraham:  I am beyond these matters, like the Holy Father in Rome
User guest67 left the room.
OldAbraham:  I may pontificate on these topics but at a distance
guest28:  the size is immaterial…i come from greatness & i continue in its path
OldAbraham:  And speaking of that the Pope will be here at the end of the week.
OldAbraham:  I intend to line fifth avenue to catch a glimpse.
guest28:  what are you eating luke ?
OldAbraham:  Luke, whatever you are doing with your r hand, it looks like you are egnaged in onanism
OldAbraham:  Wow, he’s not munching
OldAbraham:  Why not?
guest28:  i plan to be behind you in line & cop a feel from the old abraham
OldAbraham:  How will I know that it is you and not some fliegal?
User guest68 left the room.
OldAbraham:  Also Luke, it looks like the sort of tremor a Parkinson’s victim has (May G-d provide our doctors with the wisdom to cure this disease)
guest28:  because i told you before i am all women…the whole geshefeft…how can i prove this to you ?
OldAbraham:  Only etrannies declare themselves to be "all women [sic]".  Real women can be judged that at a remove
OldAbraham:  Send me a photo
guest28:  i cannot blow my cover due to my extraordinary yichus
User guest56 changed their name to Sarah.
OldAbraham:  Describe your yicchus
guest28:  again…i cannot..its too dangerous to expose my sect
OldAbraham:  All you females, you real females, if you love Israel, the one thing you hopefully still can do that you must do is procreate.
OldAbraham:  Everything else is just talk
guest28:  peru urvu is my middle name
guest28:  he is shaking like a parki or a lulav
OldAbraham:  There is no substitute for numbers.
OldAbraham:  Jews and Whites need mating, not dating
guest28:  luke are your hands callused  beyond belief ??
OldAbraham:  Breeding, not playing
User Sarah left the room.
guest28:  who is under the desk gina ?
OldAbraham:  Like overeducated women elsewhere, too many Jewish women use their vaginas as toys while Palestinian women use theirs as cannon.
guest28:  i couldn’t have said it better myself
OldAbraham:  The Muslims are breeding an army of world beaters.
OldAbraham:  While Jewish women are watching "Sex in the City"
guest28:  that is why the state of israel is in big trouble
guest28:  are you mr. big ??
OldAbraham:  So you Jewish women who are able, whether you are married or single, PROCREATE NOW
guest28:  as we speak or blog
OldAbraham:  I am not able to give birth to a baby
OldAbraham:  In fact, this is what I want you to do
guest28:  it does not matter machshave kemaseh
OldAbraham:  Resolve that your next bit of ovulation does not go to waste like the sperm of a man who masturbates, casting his seed on the ground
guest28:  what shall i do oh great avraham ?
OldAbraham:  You must find a suitable man and have DANGER SEX with him
OldAbraham:  Safe sex = no increase
guest28:  i am all for danger sex
OldAbraham:  Real sex = DANGER SEX = Pregnant with the possibility of life
guest28:  mit vaimen???
OldAbraham:  Porn = condoms = birth control = population control for the wrong people = death
OldAbraham:  I am willing to air-ship my frozen sperm to any fertile woman who wants some
guest28:  luke spills his seed in vain like there’s no tommorow
OldAbraham:  So long as she is the right sort
guest28:  bring it over its local in brooklyn
OldAbraham:  I am afraid your family would not approve
OldAbraham:  and then your yichhus would diminish
OldAbraham:  But there must be many yeshiva boys around for you to use for this purpose
guest28:  my family is ok with you as you are one of our forefathers
OldAbraham:  Gina, you too
guest28:  i like a man with years of experience
Gina:  plumber crack alert
OldAbraham:  Otherwise, what we now see on the screen will be the fate of the Jewish people
OldAbraham:  Howling arab masses swarming everywhere, even at Zabars
OldAbraham:  While Jews play with their Wiis and the internet and blogging
Gina:  oy vey
guest28:  or gottliebs
OldAbraham:  JUDEN!  Listen to Old Abraham and spread your legs now, while it might do some good!
Gina:  sarah emeinu
Sarah:  hi gina
OldAbraham:  The Arab woman understands this.
guest28:  tuchie crack has been seen !!
OldAbraham:  Not for her the diaphram or the pill
Gina:  whats the good vort?
OldAbraham:  BREED
OldAbraham:  It feels good, and it is good for your people
Sarah:  mm what is this stream about
OldAbraham:  It is about the demographic peril the Western world is in
Gina:  its a stream about nothing
OldAbraham:  Luke and I are renegade offshoots from theNational Alliance
Gina:  its going downstream
Sarah:  so the guy on the cam is the moral leader
guest28:  stream of consciousness
Gina:  and breeder
OldAbraham:  We were kicked out when they inspected our petzels and found that our foreskins were missing
Sarah:  breeder?
Gina:  mine breder
guest28:  pigs in a blanket ?
Gina:  brother in arms
OldAbraham:  Are any of you mothers?
Sarah:  ah brother
Sarah:  or breeder?
Gina:  both
OldAbraham:  If not, become one today!
Sarah:  so you are lovers?
Gina:  though I do not breed w/ my breder
OldAbraham:  We are as close as lips and teeth.  Some say we are the same person
guest28:  eventually we will be
Gina:  Luke is like a brother to me
Sarah:  well incest does happen
OldAbraham:  Well then, don’t breed with your brother
guest28:  i like incest
OldAbraham:  genetically bad
OldAbraham:  socially bad
Gina:  my sista?
Gina:  insist on it
OldAbraham:  Imagine the strength of a fabric with no warp and weft
Sarah:  he seems genetically already challenged by himself
Sarah:  who is he breeding with
OldAbraham:  Enough with this nareshkeit!  Women, get out there and find yourself a plausible source of semen, and use it to make a baby!
OldAbraham:  Sperm is cheap, eggs are expensive
Gina:  mine are all scrambled
Sarah:  lol
guest28:  i am going to shoprite NOW
Gina:  no yolk
OldAbraham:  Then buy some that are not, and turn them into babies
guest28:  men…they are not what they are cracked up to be
Sarah:  so he is a breeder, i see no kids
OldAbraham:  Use Craigslist if you must (as some frum women do)
Gina:  I want to adopt you
OldAbraham:  Men are sources of semen without which there can be no babies
guest28:  no i get him first
OldAbraham:  I am available to be adopted by anyone who can afford the experience
guest28:  i am a rich b**ch
Sarah:  so now i understand why homeless people procreate
OldAbraham:  The Torah has forseen this struggle, and provides for numerous forms of polygamy
guest28:  how old are you abraham?
Sarah:  to bring forth more homeless people
OldAbraham:  Thus, you may be my wife, pelegesh, or other
Gina:  how old is your semen, more importantly
OldAbraham:  I am very very old
OldAbraham:  Always fresh
guest28:  i want to know if the sperm is old
Sarah:  Luke Ford is that your real name?
OldAbraham:  Yes
OldAbraham:  ha ha
guest28:  how old is old ?  passed the expiration date?
OldAbraham:  Some say he is really "Chaim Amalek"
Sarah:  is that his office
Sarah:  or his home
Sarah:  or both
guest28:  chaim i implore you how old are jew ?
Sarah:  aha
OldAbraham:  If you run an anagram check on "chaim amalek" there you find your answer
Sarah:  i saw a picture of this chaim
OldAbraham:  How old are you, Sarah, guest28, etc.
OldAbraham:  and?
Sarah:  i’m 18
guest28:  old enough to bear your children
OldAbraham:  What are your respective hip to waist ratios?
Sarah:  maybe i don’t want to do so yet
guest28:  shmona estra lechuppah
Gina:  you’re right Welchs would not do
Gina:  stick with Kedem
OldAbraham:  18 is perfect time to start as you can then have many
Gina:  right grip
guest28:  shaivet
Sarah:  well i have to find the right man first
User guest69  entered the room.
Gina:  Luke is planning for 8
Sarah:  wow
Sarah:  8?
guest28:  breeders hip & will have them all at cedars sinai
User guest69 left the room.
Sarah:  with 8 women
Gina:  8 is enough
OldAbraham:  But what is the ratio
OldAbraham:  That business of a woman’s hips alone indicating fertility is false, it is the ratio
Gina:  no all emma’s
Sarah:  or who is this poor woman who will bare his children
OldAbraham:  I know women wiht narrow hips with many young
Sarah:  aha
Sarah:  who is this emma
OldAbraham:  Luke is grooming her to be his mate
Sarah:  does she live with him
OldAbraham:  She will soon enough
guest28:  therefore i am not a hipster
Sarah:  poor woman
Gina:  check out the new FAQ
Sarah:  ok
OldAbraham:  She will scandalize the women of LA
Sarah:  where is this faq
OldAbraham:  Men will flock to Luke’s lectures
guest28:  and will be featured in the Jewish Journal
Gina:  lukeford.net
Sarah:  ok
Sarah:  brb
OldAbraham:  "How I snagged an 18 year old white hottie on no money down"
guest28:  snagged but not kept
Gina:  free slice er dicer included
Sarah:  oh ok
Sarah:  nice girl
OldAbraham:  Snagging for a few years is victory
Sarah:  so she is with him
Gina:  they connect
OldAbraham:  All he has to do is get her pregnant, keep her pregnant or nursing, and she will be his
Sarah:  oh she is irish
guest28:  hopefully it will last a lifetime  moshiach is on the way
Sarah:  she lives in la?
Sarah:  she sleeps on the ground there
OldAbraham:  This was not the match I had in mind for LUke
Sarah:  not much place for 2
Sarah:  let alone 8
OldAbraham:  I had another that would have provided him with a good income
Sarah:  or altogether 10
guest28:  i also thought that her yichus was not up to snuff
Sarah:  wow
OldAbraham:  With a sturdy shiksa of South African descent
Gina:  Emma has gr8 potential
guest28:  lekah
OldAbraham:  She has what men want
Sarah:  she seems nice
Sarah:  i don’t know her
OldAbraham:  Forget about Ms. Magazine.
OldAbraham:  Men want what she has.
guest28:  which is ??
OldAbraham:  Ladies, if you are not married now, get married this year
Sarah:  so what does she have
OldAbraham:  Or get pregnant
Gina:  she will make a wonderful kallah
Gina:  and bake wonderful challa
Sarah:  what’s a challa
Gina:  alla malla
OldAbraham:  She is pretty, young, not angry or bitter, full of all the indicia of fertility
OldAbraham:  She is coltish
OlderAbraham:  Luke, set me up with Emma’s sister and we can double date
Gina:  but wiser
Gina:  but you have to buy her some bloomers
User guest71 left the room.
Sarah:  hello
OlderAbraham:  Hello
Gina:  from Victoria’s sud
guest28:  abraham you must stay within your tribe i command you
Gina:  you had me at Hello
OlderAbraham:  My seed swims in whatever pool it finds itself
guest28:  do not stray…your semen is too precious
OlderAbraham:  My advice to all of you is this.  If you want to meet someone (as for semen), then turn off your computers and walk out the front door
OlderAbraham:  The internet is but another tool of social isolation
OlderAbraham:  Sarah, go to church.  You too, guest28
Gina:  but if you stay here long enough, you will either kill yourself or desperately seek human interaction
Gina:  tough choices
OlderAbraham:  Guest28, I think you should hook up with a strapping red-haired Irish fireman named Shaumus
Gina:  28 is davening now
Gina:  leave her be
Gina:  she needs kavanah
OlderAbraham:  Gina, if you are not married, you too should head out and smile at a man today
Gina:  did you not hear the mincha chimes?
Gina:  OK, I will and be thinking of you as I do
Gina:  will smiling get me knocked up?
OlderAbraham:  And for Luke there is Emma.  Already he is preparing his tiny home for her visit, as by excavating a crawlspace beneath his feet
Sarah:  do you enter the conversation luke?
OlderAbraham:  He is aloof.
Gina:  enter gently please
OlderAbraham:  I speak for him
OlderAbraham:  I am the voice of Luke Ford
OlderAbraham:  Then and now and forever more
Sarah:  so she is going to visit him
OlderAbraham:  I am the Alpha and Omega
Sarah:  will we see that on cam
OlderAbraham:  Yes
OlderAbraham:  One day
Gina:  pay per view
Sarah:  nice
OlderAbraham:  It will come to pass
Sarah:  lol
Sarah:  when is this
Sarah:  i cannot wait
OlderAbraham:  Only Luke knows
Sarah:  ok luke?
OlderAbraham:  When will the Moshiach come?
OlderAbraham:  Who can say?
Gina:  mosiach will be at Luke and Emma’s chasana
Gina:  I’H
OlderAbraham:  Some say he already came.  Some say Frodo lives.
Gina:  he will be the unterferer
Sarah:  lol
Sarah:  he looks so serious
Gina:  marines
Sarah:  does he ever speak

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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