Click here to join the fun.
Guest43: luke you are a grecian god without any formula
Guest43: mmm… breakfast of champions
welshdragon: lo u’re up early
Guest43: he was partying with they young ones last night
welshdragon: just got out of shower?
Guest43: 2 20’s go into 40 very well i hear
guest29: Like the slick hair 🙂
guest28: he’s wet & wild
guest29: Is that cholent grease?
YourMoralLeader: how did you know?
YourMoralLeader: how was your shabbat?
guest28: no it’s suntan oil leftover from the friday fry in the garden
guest28: i was wailiing over the weill departure
guest29: Did Weill bop anyone on Shabbat?
guest29: if he did he may have to stay in L.A. even longer
guest28: he’s saving his hands for the ou
guest29: where’s Emma?
guest29: she left you already?
guest28: she’s tending to the horses
YourMoralLeader: I hope not!
YourMoralLeader: she’ll be here soon
YourMoralLeader: I really like that girl
YourMoralLeader: She’s my beshert!
guest29: nothing like the anticipation
guest29: she likes you more…
YourMoralLeader: she’s awesome
guest28: i hope there won’t be a let down on both your parts …all that build up…& not in your hair
guest29: she has a neshama
guest28: a pure neshama
guest29: when is she coming?
guest28: our song is on .. i am now coming
guest29: to see you?
guest28: i am going to exercise now
guest28: a june bride would be nice
guest29: I think you should elope
guest29: save your $ to buy her baubles and such
guest29: although she seems very down to earth
guest29: perhaps some horse paraphenalia
guest28: are you prepared for emma not to be into you once she meets you??? it may happen although you may win her heart with your charm & great looks
YourMoralLeader: I hope she’ll be into me
guest29: where do you think you two will take up residence?
YourMoralLeader: but if not, I’ll just slash my wrists.
guest28: hope & PRAY WELL
YourMoralLeader: in LA, though if I make $$$, I’d like to move to Jerusalem.
guest28: i will be there to tape you up
guest29: I hope not near the breslovers
guest29: cuz once you have the 8 kids
guest28: oy vey another conversion is Emma-next ??
guest29: you don’t want to have their influence in child rearing
guest29: it is 8 little wallabees, correct?
guest28: i just love when you sing along with that aussielicious accent !!
YourMoralLeader: we’ll be Modern Orthodox
YourMoralLeader: Emma doesn’t like the bar scene either
guest28: m/o is the way to go
guest29: OK than only 3.5 kids
guest28: .5 is the kid i want to know about
guest28: tie me up you wild aussie you
guest31: Is that Emma’s pic?
guest28: kosher gum ?
guest28: her eyes pierce right through to my heart if that is indeed her real picture
guest28: then i am too in love with her even though i am a woman
guest31: WOW.. then I fully understand
guest31: she really does look pure
guest28: pure as driven la snow
YourMoralLeader: she’s just 18
YourMoralLeader: I’ve seen her on her cam a couple of times
guest31: what is she taking up in school
YourMoralLeader: she looks like an 18yo Princess Di
YourMoralLeader: The Judaic studies program was all filled up.
guest28: but are you prepared to be rejected ?? you must protect yourself in case
YourMoralLeader: hi emma!!!!!!!!1111111111111111
guest31: but she is extremely mature
Emma: Hey Luke!
guest31: Speaking of the angel!!
YourMoralLeader: we’re talking about you1
guest31: JD Studies ha ha
Emma: All good I hope
YourMoralLeader: They were preparing me for rejection
guest31: good one!
guest28: i will teach her to make you a good cholent
guest31: no for reality
YourMoralLeader: I need an Emma FAQ on my site
guest31: yes that would be helpful
YourMoralLeader: working on that now
guest28: emma you had me at your eyes they are soulful & quite breathtaking
guest31: when was the pic taken?
Emma: Few months back
guest28: yes i am i never lie unless you ask me how much i weigh
Emma: How are you Luke?
Emma: I missed ya!
YourMoralLeader: I missed you too
YourMoralLeader: I’m good. How was your weekend?
guest31: emma are your folks a good looking couple?
Emma: It was fine thanks
Emma: Ummm I guess so 31
guest31: and your sibs? Are they pleasing to the eye?
Emma: Yeah they are
guest31: you i suppose are the ugly duckling?
Emma: lol thanks
guest31: you missed the kangaroo song…do you want to hear it now?
guest28: emma dear i you ready for a culture shock to the system ?
guest31: shock us…
Emma: Ive heard it before 31
guest28: i am afraid for you emma…it maybe too much for you to handle in all seriousness
Emma: What is that?
guest28: when you come to la ..it may be overwhelming for you
guest28: this is aside from luke
Emma: I doubt that
YourMoralLeader: I’m like a gentle breeze on a summer’s day.
guest28: more like a ‘ gentile’ breeze
User Maria changed their name to laura.
laura: hey there
YourMoralLeader: Laura is on leave from the army?
guest28: no breeze today …it is hot like hell
YourMoralLeader: u must be in the valley, 28
Emma: omg lmfao!
Emma: Thats funny Luke
guest28: no city gal
laura: hey ems
laura: love u lol
guest28: i’m gonna go to coffe tea leaf too cool me off !!
YourMoralLeader: luv u 2
laura: ems lmao
Emma: lol Ok Laura
guest28: let us all have an intervention & come over & shave the beard ..are you with me ?
guest28: we will also manicure your lawn for the same price
guest28: chest hair is included in the deal
guest28: if there is any
laura: hey luke how are you?
guest35: Luke, real nice job on the Emma FAQ’s
Emma: lol its funny
guest35: Quite accurate
guest35: who is your fact checker?
YourMoralLeader: 35, how do you know the accuracy?
YourMoralLeader: I’m well Laura
YourMoralLeader: I’m on leave from the Marines
User guest31 left the room.
YourMoralLeader: just back from baghdad
Emma: I see you have been chatting about me
guest35: from the actual chats from whence your gleened all this valuable info
YourMoralLeader: I got my info in very private and intense web cam sessions
YourMoralLeader: I’m doing top secret work for Mossad about Iran right now Laura.
guest35: I see, so this is not the full version of FAQs
Emma: no laura
laura: lol share
guest28: i’d like to be your fat checker
guest35: please schedule another Kedem grape juice session soon
guest28: i think the supply is low at Ralphs
guest35: have you ever thought of switching to welchs?
guest28: try welchs it sounds less jewish & more irish
guest35: Did you make kiddush this shabbat?
YourMoralLeader: shabbas morning
guest35: how was the anxiety level?
laura: luke can you post my pic on your guest book if i email it to u?
guest28: how i would have loved to be inspired by that kiddush
YourMoralLeader: Have all the goyim been to church today?
YourMoralLeader: yes laura!
guest35: how many words did you flub up?
YourMoralLeader: I did the kiddush only to myself saturday morning so there was no anxiety
YourMoralLeader: I did a short version, so none.
guest28: luke does not flub he just says it alittle differently
guest35: I was at confessional
YourMoralLeader: Emma, church today?
YourMoralLeader: 35, what did you confess?
guest35: being in this chat room
guest28: words don’t mean as much as your kavanah
guest28: amen to that
guest35: 5 hail marys and all is forgiven
YourMoralLeader: I had Friday night dinner with some outgoing Jews, they made me look restrained and proper. That was cool.
YourMoralLeader: What’s your favorite book of the Bible, Emma?
YourMoralLeader: Laura, when you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
YourMoralLeader: Emma, you were supposed to say Luke.
laura: always a soldier
Emma: It’s Luke
YourMoralLeader: The Gospel of Luke
laura: well up until i was about 6 before that i wanted a police women lol
Emma: you wanted a police woman?
laura: to be cheeky lol
YourMoralLeader: do you like men with big guns?
guest28: no just straight shooters
laura: of course
YourMoralLeader: who doesn’t?
guest28: its not the gun but the ammo
guest39: Laura, do you and Emma share clothing?
Emma: No we don’t 39
guest28: 39 you ask weird questions
guest39: do you share your food?
Emma: I buy my own…
guest28: do you share your men ? now that’s a question
Emma: lol no
YourMoralLeader: so what did you do this weekend Emma?
guest28: cut away
YourMoralLeader: have you two ever dated the same guy?
Emma: Got a dvd and sat in
guest39: at the same time?
Emma: No never
guest39: what flick?
guest28: i wish i was there to bite away at ALL your fingers & extensions
YourMoralLeader: what DVD?
Emma: Pearl Harbour
guest39: heard it was a BOMB
guest28: i will bring the cuticule oil & give you a hand massage
guest39: no happy ending
guest28: under the table of course
Emma: You wish
guest28: wishes do come true
guest39: nailed that one hu?
guest39: no tanning today?
Emma: What did you do over the weekend Luke?
guest39: too hot?
guest28: unless you’d rather be fingered !!
guest28: now give us the finger
YourMoralLeader: Friday night, shul, then went with new friends for shabbat dinner till about 1 am, then shul in the morning, hung out with new friends till 1:30, nap, then back to shul in the evening, rabbi gave a big talk on hard work, prayer
guest39: a clean one please
guest28: will you and emma both wear wedding bands if it leads to that ??
YourMoralLeader: third meal, back to my computer, attempted to go out and gave up and went to bed
YourMoralLeader: Orthodox Jewish men do not wear jewelry
guest39: but your MO
guest28: but modern orthodox do
guest39: doesn’t go with the bekeshe?
guest28: we must be twins
guest28: we are
guest39: lol 28
guest39: seperated at birth
guest39: is this a sisters only chat?
YourMoralLeader: I’m alone in here with four women!
guest39: I never date a guy who has more jewels than I
guest28: i see you with a nipple ring but better watch out at the airport
guest39: how about your family jewels?
YourMoralLeader: I got a piercing in a very private place
YourMoralLeader: but only emma gets to see that, and not until we’re married.
guest39: you have nice nips Luke
guest28: im yirtzeh hashem
Emma: Can’t wait
guest28: no the beard does
guest28: emma will have microdermabrasion if you don’t shave soon
guest39: don’t be so cheeky 28
guest28: which cheeks are we referring
guest39: which elbow do you think?
laura: boing boing boing…….
guest39: how about some Carpenters?
guest28: my song yeah
laura: def a song to make you go craaaaaazzzzzy
guest28: no i love it
YourMoralLeader: Emma’s bringin on the heartbreak
guest39: not if you’re a roo
guest28: luke you are rigtht..i have now gained some weight back in my boobs doing your exercises
YourMoralLeader: Thank the good L-rd
guest39: your cups runneth over
guest39: very uplifting
Emma: what the juice excersise?
Emma: Love this song (Love Bites by Def Leppard)
Emma: forget Libera Luke.. this is our song
Gina: tough to dance to
Emma: Who said anything about dancing?
Gina: but you’ll wing it I’m sure
YourMoralLeader: Emma’s first appearance in my chat room: http://lukeford.net/blog/?p=2513
YourMoralLeader: March 21
YourMoralLeader: I love this song
Emma: Almost a month
YourMoralLeader: whoa, we’ve moved quickly!
Emma: Havn’t we!
Gina: what you got planned for the 1 month anniversary?
guest28: dinner & a movie ?
Gina: can we come along?
Gina: as back up?
guest28: we always have your back
Gina: I want his front!
guest28: you get the top I will go for the bottom all 5 inches
Emma: Sorry..all mine
Gina: mum never told you about sharing M?
Emma: In this case
guest28: i see lukes ego inflate right in front of my eyes
Emma: I will be greedy
YourMoralLeader: I don’t need levitra any more
Gina: does lavitra work better for you than viagra?
Gina: did you check if they are chometz?
Gina: ‘cmon Luke, can’t I get a rise out of ya?
User guest56 (126.96.36.199) entered the room.
YourMoralLeader: my doc prescribes levitra
YourMoralLeader: viagra gave me a headache
YourMoralLeader: but since I came to emma, i’ve no longer needed pharmacology
Gina: OK, do you know Emma’s schedule?
Emma: woo hoo
YourMoralLeader: you mean monthly cycle?
Gina: nida or not
YourMoralLeader: she gets violent before her period
YourMoralLeader: throws things
Gina: midol should help
Emma: He will know when he is dodging something heavy
Gina: Emma are you OK with the family purity laws?
Gina: 2 weeks on / 2 weeks off
User OhtheIrony left the room.
YourMoralLeader: I haven’t taught her about them yet
Gina: ironic how he left like that
Emma: Nope I don’t know of them
Gina: she’ll have to go to kallah classes
Gina: and challah classes as well
Gina: barefoot and in the kitchen
Gina: making your dough rise
guest61: go back to your families
guest61: your works strike no sparks
guest61: are there no cleaning jobs in your countries?
guest61: busy yourselves with domestic chores
guest61: they have no knowledge of the holy books
guest28: how’s it hanging chaim ??
OldAbraham: I wish I knew who you people were
guest61: they embarass themselves
OldAbraham: For all I knowk you are all etrannies
guest61: with their ignorance
Gina: not like you 61
guest61: I walk with the leader
guest28: avraham avinu…i feel i know you not biblically of course
OldAbraham: Fleygelas trying to get into my pants
guest28: shalom al isroel
guest61: Sodom and Gommorah
OldAbraham: But I tell you, there you will find nothing but a small strip of kosher bacon
guest28: but that small strip has so much flavor
OldAbraham: You who wish sexual release from the cares of life must look to The Man – Luke – for that
guest61: we wish only to be rid of fools like you
guest28: i can’t its you i crave
OldAbraham: Male or female, it would matter not, for when engaged in coitus, Luke’s thoughts are with the oral law
guest61: do your mothers know you are here
guest61: shming them
OldAbraham: Why are YOU here
OldAbraham: Have you nothing better to do?
OldAbraham: You are a shame for the Jewish people
guest61: I keep the beast from the gate
guest61: The filth from the fountain
OldAbraham: You are the reason Hitlers come along
Gina: Abe you were young when you came here
Gina: now look at you
guest28: i finished all my pesach cleaning i am all yours abraham for the taking
Gina: to the highest bidder
OldAbraham: guest28, I’m afraid geography keep us apart, again
guest61: go and found your own religion for cretins
guest28: no we live in the same city…
OldAbraham: where is that…..
guest28: you know brookyn
guest61: it stinks
OldAbraham: Sounds like the name of a celebrity’s daughter
guest28: which celebrity ?
User guest64 left the room.
guest61: see how they compete to see who is the stupidest
OldAbraham: I forget
OldAbraham: some celebrity
guest28: 61 go to gehenem
User guest61 was banned by broadcaster/admin.
User guest61 left the room.
OldAbraham: So Luke, who was g61?
YourMoralLeader: no idea
guest28: 69 i would know
OldAbraham: Someone from the orthodox underworld?
Gina: mossad perhaps
OldAbraham: NO, a Templar
guest28: someone from the sons of david ?
OldAbraham: G28, if you live in Brooklyn, then tell me this: where do the hipsters roam?
guest28: abraham what kind of matzohs did you buy??
OldAbraham: Trippple shmura, of course
Gina: willy B
guest28: hipsters are so overated
OldAbraham: Where do the Munkacer Hassidim hang out?
guest28: you are cruising for hipsters now???
Gina: the mikva
OldAbraham: Hipsters often need to go to the mikvah
guest28: minkatch stinckatch
OldAbraham: any place with water
OldAbraham: Hey Luke, there is this anarchy conference today I’m thinking of going to
Gina: gotta go check up on Emma, brb
OldAbraham: I’m thinking of attending a panel entitled "Anarchist people of color (APOC) Caucs
OldAbraham: I don’t know who any of you are
User guest66 left the room.
OldAbraham: Gina . . . G28 . . . Emma. You could all be the same person. The internet is full of people assuming false identies, I hear.
guest28: abraham i am the one with the big yichus
OldAbraham: A yichus that just won’t quit?
guest28: we were intimate on line…gedenkst nisht ?
OldAbraham: What size is your yichus?
OldAbraham: I am never intimate online
OldAbraham: Nor offline.
OldAbraham: I am beyond these matters, like the Holy Father in Rome
User guest67 left the room.
OldAbraham: I may pontificate on these topics but at a distance
guest28: the size is immaterial…i come from greatness & i continue in its path
OldAbraham: And speaking of that the Pope will be here at the end of the week.
OldAbraham: I intend to line fifth avenue to catch a glimpse.
guest28: what are you eating luke ?
OldAbraham: Luke, whatever you are doing with your r hand, it looks like you are egnaged in onanism
OldAbraham: Wow, he’s not munching
OldAbraham: Why not?
guest28: i plan to be behind you in line & cop a feel from the old abraham
OldAbraham: How will I know that it is you and not some fliegal?
User guest68 left the room.
OldAbraham: Also Luke, it looks like the sort of tremor a Parkinson’s victim has (May G-d provide our doctors with the wisdom to cure this disease)
guest28: because i told you before i am all women…the whole geshefeft…how can i prove this to you ?
OldAbraham: Only etrannies declare themselves to be "all women [sic]". Real women can be judged that at a remove
OldAbraham: Send me a photo
guest28: i cannot blow my cover due to my extraordinary yichus
User guest56 changed their name to Sarah.
OldAbraham: Describe your yicchus
guest28: again…i cannot..its too dangerous to expose my sect
OldAbraham: All you females, you real females, if you love Israel, the one thing you hopefully still can do that you must do is procreate.
OldAbraham: Everything else is just talk
guest28: peru urvu is my middle name
guest28: he is shaking like a parki or a lulav
OldAbraham: There is no substitute for numbers.
OldAbraham: Jews and Whites need mating, not dating
guest28: luke are your hands callused beyond belief ??
OldAbraham: Breeding, not playing
User Sarah left the room.
guest28: who is under the desk gina ?
OldAbraham: Like overeducated women elsewhere, too many Jewish women use their vaginas as toys while Palestinian women use theirs as cannon.
guest28: i couldn’t have said it better myself
OldAbraham: The Muslims are breeding an army of world beaters.
OldAbraham: While Jewish women are watching "Sex in the City"
guest28: that is why the state of israel is in big trouble
guest28: are you mr. big ??
OldAbraham: So you Jewish women who are able, whether you are married or single, PROCREATE NOW
guest28: as we speak or blog
OldAbraham: I am not able to give birth to a baby
OldAbraham: In fact, this is what I want you to do
guest28: it does not matter machshave kemaseh
OldAbraham: Resolve that your next bit of ovulation does not go to waste like the sperm of a man who masturbates, casting his seed on the ground
guest28: what shall i do oh great avraham ?
OldAbraham: You must find a suitable man and have DANGER SEX with him
OldAbraham: Safe sex = no increase
guest28: i am all for danger sex
OldAbraham: Real sex = DANGER SEX = Pregnant with the possibility of life
guest28: mit vaimen???
OldAbraham: Porn = condoms = birth control = population control for the wrong people = death
OldAbraham: I am willing to air-ship my frozen sperm to any fertile woman who wants some
guest28: luke spills his seed in vain like there’s no tommorow
OldAbraham: So long as she is the right sort
guest28: bring it over its local in brooklyn
OldAbraham: I am afraid your family would not approve
OldAbraham: and then your yichhus would diminish
OldAbraham: But there must be many yeshiva boys around for you to use for this purpose
guest28: my family is ok with you as you are one of our forefathers
OldAbraham: Gina, you too
guest28: i like a man with years of experience
Gina: plumber crack alert
OldAbraham: Otherwise, what we now see on the screen will be the fate of the Jewish people
OldAbraham: Howling arab masses swarming everywhere, even at Zabars
OldAbraham: While Jews play with their Wiis and the internet and blogging
Gina: oy vey
guest28: or gottliebs
OldAbraham: JUDEN! Listen to Old Abraham and spread your legs now, while it might do some good!
Gina: sarah emeinu
Sarah: hi gina
OldAbraham: THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR SEX
OldAbraham: The Arab woman understands this.
guest28: tuchie crack has been seen !!
OldAbraham: Not for her the diaphram or the pill
Gina: whats the good vort?
OldAbraham: It feels good, and it is good for your people
Sarah: mm what is this stream about
OldAbraham: It is about the demographic peril the Western world is in
Gina: its a stream about nothing
OldAbraham: Luke and I are renegade offshoots from theNational Alliance
Gina: its going downstream
Sarah: so the guy on the cam is the moral leader
guest28: stream of consciousness
Gina: and breeder
OldAbraham: We were kicked out when they inspected our petzels and found that our foreskins were missing
Gina: mine breder
guest28: pigs in a blanket ?
Gina: brother in arms
OldAbraham: Are any of you mothers?
Sarah: ah brother
Sarah: or breeder?
OldAbraham: If not, become one today!
Sarah: so you are lovers?
Gina: though I do not breed w/ my breder
OldAbraham: We are as close as lips and teeth. Some say we are the same person
guest28: eventually we will be
Gina: Luke is like a brother to me
Sarah: well incest does happen
OldAbraham: Well then, don’t breed with your brother
guest28: i like incest
OldAbraham: genetically bad
OldAbraham: socially bad
Gina: my sista?
Gina: insist on it
OldAbraham: Imagine the strength of a fabric with no warp and weft
Sarah: he seems genetically already challenged by himself
Sarah: who is he breeding with
OldAbraham: Enough with this nareshkeit! Women, get out there and find yourself a plausible source of semen, and use it to make a baby!
OldAbraham: Sperm is cheap, eggs are expensive
Gina: mine are all scrambled
guest28: i am going to shoprite NOW
Gina: no yolk
OldAbraham: Then buy some that are not, and turn them into babies
guest28: men…they are not what they are cracked up to be
Sarah: so he is a breeder, i see no kids
OldAbraham: Use Craigslist if you must (as some frum women do)
Gina: I want to adopt you
OldAbraham: Men are sources of semen without which there can be no babies
guest28: no i get him first
OldAbraham: I am available to be adopted by anyone who can afford the experience
guest28: i am a rich b**ch
Sarah: so now i understand why homeless people procreate
OldAbraham: The Torah has forseen this struggle, and provides for numerous forms of polygamy
guest28: how old are you abraham?
Sarah: to bring forth more homeless people
OldAbraham: Thus, you may be my wife, pelegesh, or other
Gina: how old is your semen, more importantly
OldAbraham: I am very very old
OldAbraham: Always fresh
guest28: i want to know if the sperm is old
Sarah: Luke Ford is that your real name?
OldAbraham: ha ha
guest28: how old is old ? passed the expiration date?
OldAbraham: Some say he is really "Chaim Amalek"
Sarah: is that his office
Sarah: or his home
Sarah: or both
guest28: chaim i implore you how old are jew ?
OldAbraham: If you run an anagram check on "chaim amalek" there you find your answer
Sarah: i saw a picture of this chaim
OldAbraham: How old are you, Sarah, guest28, etc.
Sarah: i’m 18
guest28: old enough to bear your children
OldAbraham: What are your respective hip to waist ratios?
Sarah: maybe i don’t want to do so yet
guest28: shmona estra lechuppah
Gina: you’re right Welchs would not do
Gina: stick with Kedem
OldAbraham: 18 is perfect time to start as you can then have many
Gina: right grip
Sarah: well i have to find the right man first
User guest69 entered the room.
Gina: Luke is planning for 8
guest28: breeders hip & will have them all at cedars sinai
User guest69 left the room.
Sarah: with 8 women
Gina: 8 is enough
OldAbraham: But what is the ratio
OldAbraham: That business of a woman’s hips alone indicating fertility is false, it is the ratio
Gina: no all emma’s
Sarah: or who is this poor woman who will bare his children
OldAbraham: I know women wiht narrow hips with many young
Sarah: who is this emma
OldAbraham: Luke is grooming her to be his mate
Sarah: does she live with him
OldAbraham: She will soon enough
guest28: therefore i am not a hipster
Sarah: poor woman
Gina: check out the new FAQ
OldAbraham: She will scandalize the women of LA
Sarah: where is this faq
OldAbraham: Men will flock to Luke’s lectures
guest28: and will be featured in the Jewish Journal
OldAbraham: "How I snagged an 18 year old white hottie on no money down"
guest28: snagged but not kept
Gina: free slice er dicer included
Sarah: oh ok
Sarah: nice girl
OldAbraham: Snagging for a few years is victory
Sarah: so she is with him
Gina: they connect
OldAbraham: All he has to do is get her pregnant, keep her pregnant or nursing, and she will be his
Sarah: oh she is irish
guest28: hopefully it will last a lifetime moshiach is on the way
Sarah: she lives in la?
Sarah: she sleeps on the ground there
OldAbraham: This was not the match I had in mind for LUke
Sarah: not much place for 2
Sarah: let alone 8
OldAbraham: I had another that would have provided him with a good income
Sarah: or altogether 10
guest28: i also thought that her yichus was not up to snuff
OldAbraham: With a sturdy shiksa of South African descent
Gina: Emma has gr8 potential
OldAbraham: She has what men want
Sarah: she seems nice
Sarah: i don’t know her
OldAbraham: Forget about Ms. Magazine.
OldAbraham: Men want what she has.
guest28: which is ??
OldAbraham: Ladies, if you are not married now, get married this year
Sarah: so what does she have
OldAbraham: Or get pregnant
Gina: she will make a wonderful kallah
Gina: and bake wonderful challa
Sarah: what’s a challa
Gina: alla malla
OldAbraham: She is pretty, young, not angry or bitter, full of all the indicia of fertility
OldAbraham: She is coltish
OlderAbraham: Luke, set me up with Emma’s sister and we can double date
Gina: but wiser
Gina: but you have to buy her some bloomers
User guest71 left the room.
Gina: from Victoria’s sud
guest28: abraham you must stay within your tribe i command you
Gina: you had me at Hello
OlderAbraham: My seed swims in whatever pool it finds itself
guest28: do not stray…your semen is too precious
OlderAbraham: My advice to all of you is this. If you want to meet someone (as for semen), then turn off your computers and walk out the front door
OlderAbraham: The internet is but another tool of social isolation
OlderAbraham: Sarah, go to church. You too, guest28
Gina: but if you stay here long enough, you will either kill yourself or desperately seek human interaction
Gina: tough choices
OlderAbraham: Guest28, I think you should hook up with a strapping red-haired Irish fireman named Shaumus
Gina: 28 is davening now
Gina: leave her be
Gina: she needs kavanah
OlderAbraham: Gina, if you are not married, you too should head out and smile at a man today
Gina: did you not hear the mincha chimes?
Gina: OK, I will and be thinking of you as I do
Gina: will smiling get me knocked up?
OlderAbraham: And for Luke there is Emma. Already he is preparing his tiny home for her visit, as by excavating a crawlspace beneath his feet
Sarah: do you enter the conversation luke?
OlderAbraham: He is aloof.
Gina: enter gently please
OlderAbraham: I speak for him
OlderAbraham: I am the voice of Luke Ford
OlderAbraham: Then and now and forever more
Sarah: so she is going to visit him
OlderAbraham: I am the Alpha and Omega
Sarah: will we see that on cam
OlderAbraham: One day
Gina: pay per view
OlderAbraham: It will come to pass
Sarah: when is this
Sarah: i cannot wait
OlderAbraham: Only Luke knows
Sarah: ok luke?
OlderAbraham: When will the Moshiach come?
OlderAbraham: Who can say?
Gina: mosiach will be at Luke and Emma’s chasana
OlderAbraham: Some say he already came. Some say Frodo lives.
Gina: he will be the unterferer
Sarah: he looks so serious
OlderAbraham: As for you ladies, STEP AWAY FROM THOSE COMPUTERS AND FIND YOURSELF SOME SEMEN!
Sarah: does he ever speak