I’m Live On My Cam!

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Guest43:  luke you are a grecian god without any formula
Guest43:  mmm… breakfast of champions
welshdragon:  lo u’re up early
Guest43:  he was partying with they young ones last night
welshdragon:  just got out of shower?
Guest43:  2 20’s go into 40 very well i hear
guest29:  Like the slick hair ๐Ÿ™‚
YourMoralLeader:  thanks!
guest28:  he’s wet & wild
guest29:  Is that cholent grease?
YourMoralLeader:  how did you know?
YourMoralLeader:  how was your shabbat?
guest28:  no it’s suntan oil leftover from the friday fry in the garden
guest29:  peacfull
guest28:  i was wailiing over the weill departure
guest29:  Did Weill bop anyone on Shabbat?
guest29:  if he did he may have to stay in L.A. even longer
guest28:  he’s saving his hands for the ou
guest29:  where’s Emma?
guest29:  she left you already?
guest28:  she’s tending to the horses
YourMoralLeader:  I hope not!
YourMoralLeader:  she’ll be here soon
YourMoralLeader:  I really like that girl
YourMoralLeader:  She’s my beshert!
guest29:  nothing like the anticipation
guest29:  she likes you more…
YourMoralLeader:  she’s awesome
guest28:  i hope there won’t be a let down on both your parts …all that build up…& not in your hair
guest29:  she has a neshama
guest28:  a pure neshama
guest29:  when is she coming?
YourMoralLeader:  june?
guest28:  our song is on .. i am now coming
guest29:  to see you?
guest28:  i am going to exercise now
guest28:  a june bride would be nice
guest29:  I think you should elope
guest29:  save your $ to buy her baubles and such
guest29:  although she seems very down to earth
guest29:  perhaps some horse paraphenalia
guest28:  are you prepared for emma not to be into you once she meets you??? it may happen although you may win her heart with your charm & great looks
YourMoralLeader:  I hope she’ll be into me
guest29:  where do you think you two will take up residence?
YourMoralLeader:  but if not, I’ll just slash my wrists.
guest28:  hope & PRAY WELL
YourMoralLeader:  in LA, though if I make $$$, I’d like to move to Jerusalem.
guest28:  i will be there to tape you up
guest29:  I hope not near the breslovers
guest29:  cuz once you have the 8 kids
guest28:  oy vey another conversion is Emma-next ??
guest29:  you don’t want to have their influence in child rearing
guest29:  it is 8 little wallabees, correct?
guest28:  i just love when you sing along with that aussielicious accent  !!
YourMoralLeader:  we’ll be Modern Orthodox
YourMoralLeader:  Emma doesn’t like the bar scene either
guest28:  m/o  is the way to go
guest29:  OK than only 3.5 kids
guest28:  .5 is the kid i want to know about
guest28:  tie me up you wild aussie you
guest31:  Is that Emma’s pic?
guest28:  kosher gum ?
YourMoralLeader:  yes
guest28:  her eyes pierce right through to my heart if that is indeed her real picture
YourMoralLeader:  yes
guest28:  then i am too  in love with her even though i am a woman
guest31:  WOW.. then I fully understand
guest31:  she really does look pure
guest28:  pure as driven la snow
YourMoralLeader:  she’s just 18
YourMoralLeader:  I’ve seen her on her cam a couple of times
guest31:  what is she taking up in school
YourMoralLeader:  she looks like an 18yo Princess Di
YourMoralLeader:  horses
YourMoralLeader:  The Judaic studies program was all filled up.
guest28:  but are you prepared to be rejected ?? you must protect yourself in case 
YourMoralLeader:  hi emma!!!!!!!!1111111111111111
guest31:  but she is extremely mature
Emma:  Hey Luke!
guest31:  Speaking of the angel!!
YourMoralLeader:  we’re talking about you1
Emma:  Oh
guest31:  JD Studies ha ha
Emma:  All good I hope
YourMoralLeader:  They were preparing me for rejection
guest31:  good one!
Emma:  lol
guest28:  i will teach her to make you a good cholent
guest31:  no for reality
Emma:  Horses
Emma:  Yep
YourMoralLeader:  I need an Emma FAQ on my site
guest31:  yes that would be helpful
YourMoralLeader:  working on that now
guest28:  emma you had me at your eyes they are soulful & quite breathtaking

guest31:  when was the pic taken?
Emma:  Few months back
guest28:  yes i am  i never lie unless you ask me how much i weigh
Emma:  How are you Luke?
Emma:  I missed ya!
YourMoralLeader:  I missed you too
YourMoralLeader:  I’m good. How was your weekend?
guest31:  emma are your folks a good looking couple?
Emma:  It was fine thanks
Emma:  Ummm I guess so 31
guest31:  and your sibs?  Are they pleasing to the eye?
Emma:  Yeah they are
guest31:  you i suppose are the ugly duckling?
Emma:  lol thanks
guest31:  you missed the kangaroo song…do you want to hear it now?
guest28:  emma dear i you ready for a culture shock to the system ?
guest31:  shock us…
Emma:  Ive heard it before 31
guest28:  i am afraid for you emma…it maybe too much for you to handle in all seriousness
Emma:  What is that?
guest28:  when you come to la ..it may be overwhelming for you
guest28:  this is aside from luke
Emma:  I doubt that
YourMoralLeader:  I’m like a gentle breeze on a summer’s day.
guest28:  more like a ‘ gentile’ breeze
User Maria changed their name to laura.
YourMoralLeader:  http://lukeford.net/blog/?p=2738
laura:  hey there
YourMoralLeader:  Laura is on leave from the army?
guest28:  no breeze today …it is hot like hell
laura:  lol
YourMoralLeader:  u must be in the valley, 28
Emma:  omg lmfao!
Emma:  Thats funny Luke
guest28:  no city gal
laura:  hey ems
laura:  ๐Ÿ™‚
Emma:  Hi
laura:  love u lol
guest28:  i’m gonna go to coffe tea leaf too cool me off !!
YourMoralLeader:  luv u 2
laura:  ems lmao
Emma:  lol Ok Laura
guest28:  let us all have an intervention & come over & shave the beard ..are you with me ?
guest28:  we will also manicure your lawn for the same price
guest28:  chest hair is included in the deal
guest28:  if there is any
laura:  hey luke how are you?
guest35:  Luke, real nice job on the Emma FAQ’s
Emma:  lol its funny
guest35:  Quite accurate
guest35:  who is your fact checker?
YourMoralLeader:  35, how do you know the accuracy?
YourMoralLeader:  I’m well Laura
YourMoralLeader:  I’m on leave from the Marines
guest35:  touche….
User guest31 left the room.
YourMoralLeader:  just back from baghdad
Emma:  I see you have been chatting about me
laura:  lol
laura:  sure…..
guest35:  from the actual chats from whence your gleened all this valuable info
YourMoralLeader:  ahh
laura:  ๐Ÿ™‚
YourMoralLeader:  I got my info in very private and intense web cam sessions
YourMoralLeader:  I’m doing top secret work for Mossad about Iran right now Laura.
laura:  really?
guest35:  I see, so this is not the full version  of FAQs
Emma:  no laura
laura:  lol share
Emma:  lol
guest28:  i’d like to be your fat checker
guest35:  please schedule another Kedem grape juice session soon
guest28:  i think the supply is low at Ralphs
guest35:  have you ever thought of switching to welchs?
guest28:  try welchs it sounds less jewish & more irish
guest35:  Did you make kiddush this shabbat?
YourMoralLeader:  yes
YourMoralLeader:  shabbas morning
guest35:  how was the anxiety level?
laura:  luke can you post my pic on your guest book if i email it to u?
guest28:  how i would have loved to be inspired by that kiddush
YourMoralLeader:  Have all the goyim been to church today?
YourMoralLeader:  yes laura!
Emma:  lol
guest35:  how many words did you flub up?
YourMoralLeader:  I did the kiddush only to myself saturday morning so there was no anxiety
YourMoralLeader:  I did a short version, so none.
guest28:  luke does not flub he just says it alittle differently
guest35:  I was at confessional
YourMoralLeader:  Emma, church today?
YourMoralLeader:  35, what did you confess?
Emma:  Yep
guest35:  being in this chat room
guest28:  words don’t mean as much as your kavanah
guest35:  excessively
guest28:  amen to that
guest35:  5 hail marys and all is forgiven
YourMoralLeader:  I had Friday night dinner with some outgoing Jews, they made me look restrained and proper. That was cool.
YourMoralLeader:  What’s your favorite book of the Bible, Emma?
Emma:  Revelation
YourMoralLeader:  Laura, when you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
YourMoralLeader:  Emma, you were supposed to say Luke.
Emma:  looool
Emma:  oops
laura:  always a soldier
Emma:  It’s Luke
YourMoralLeader:  The Gospel of Luke
laura:  well up until i was about 6 before that i wanted a police women lol
Emma:  you wanted a police woman?
Emma:  Laura?
Emma:  lol
laura:  to be cheeky lol
YourMoralLeader:  do you like men with big guns?
guest28:  no just straight shooters
laura:  of course
YourMoralLeader:  who doesn’t?
guest28:  its not the gun but the ammo
guest39:  Laura, do you and Emma share clothing?
Emma:  No we don’t 39
guest28:  39 you ask weird questions
guest39:  do you share your food?
Emma:  I buy my own…
guest28:  do you share your men ? now that’s a question
Emma:  lol no
YourMoralLeader:  so what did you do this weekend Emma?
guest28:  cut away
YourMoralLeader:  have you two ever dated the same guy?
Emma:  Got a dvd and sat in
guest39:  at the same time?
Emma:  No never
guest39:  what flick?
guest28:  i wish i was there to bite away at ALL your fingers & extensions
YourMoralLeader:  what DVD?
guest39:  Flicka?
Emma:  Pearl Harbour
guest39:  heard it was a BOMB
guest28:  i will bring the cuticule oil & give you a hand massage
guest39:  no happy ending
guest28:  under the table of course
Emma:  You wish
guest28:  wishes do come true
guest39:  nailed that one hu?
guest39:  no tanning today?
Emma:  What did you do over the weekend Luke?
guest39:  too hot?
guest28:  unless you’d rather be fingered !!
guest28:  now give us the finger
YourMoralLeader:  Friday night, shul, then went with new friends for shabbat dinner till about 1 am, then shul in the morning, hung out with new friends till 1:30, nap, then back to shul in the evening, rabbi gave a big talk on hard work, prayer
guest39:  a clean one please
guest28:  will you and emma both wear wedding bands if it leads to that ??
YourMoralLeader:  third meal, back to my computer, attempted to go out and gave up and went to bed
Emma:  busy
Emma:  lol
YourMoralLeader:  Orthodox Jewish men do not wear jewelry
guest39:  but your MO
guest28:  but modern orthodox do
guest39:  doesn’t go with the bekeshe?
guest28:  we must be twins
guest28:  we are
guest39:  lol 28
guest39:  seperated at birth
guest39:  is this a sisters only chat?
YourMoralLeader:  I’m alone in here with four women!
guest39:  I never date a guy who has more jewels than I
guest28:  i see you with a nipple ring but better watch out at the airport
guest39:  how about your family jewels?
YourMoralLeader:  I got a piercing in a very private place
Emma:  lol
YourMoralLeader:  but only emma gets to see that, and not until we’re married.
guest39:  you have nice nips Luke
Emma:  lmao
guest28:  im yirtzeh hashem
Emma:  Can’t wait
guest28:  no the beard does
guest28:  emma will have microdermabrasion if you don’t shave soon
guest39:  don’t be so cheeky 28
guest28:  which cheeks are we referring
guest39:  which elbow do you think?
laura:  boing boing boing…….
Emma:  lol
guest39:  how about some Carpenters?
guest28:  my song yeah
laura:  def a song to make you go craaaaaazzzzzy
laura:  lol
guest28:  no i love it
YourMoralLeader:  Emma’s bringin on the heartbreak
guest39:  not if you’re a roo
laura:  lol
guest28:  luke you are rigtht..i have now gained some weight back in my boobs doing your exercises
YourMoralLeader:  Thank the good L-rd
guest39:  your cups runneth over
guest39:  very uplifting
Emma:  what the juice excersise?
Emma:  Love this song (Love Bites by Def Leppard)
Emma:  forget Libera Luke.. this is our song
Gina:  tough to dance to
Emma:  Who said anything about dancing?
Gina:  but you’ll wing it I’m sure
YourMoralLeader:  Emma’s first appearance in my chat room: http://lukeford.net/blog/?p=2513
YourMoralLeader:  March 21
YourMoralLeader:  I love this song
Emma:  Almost a month
YourMoralLeader:  whoa, we’ve moved quickly!
Emma:  Havn’t we!
Gina:  what you got planned for the 1 month anniversary?
guest28:  dinner & a movie ?
Gina:  can we come along?
Gina:  as back up?
guest28:  we always have your back
Gina:  I want his front!
guest28:  you get the top I will go for the bottom all 5 inches
Emma:  Sorry..all mine
Gina:  mum never told you about sharing M?
Emma:  In this case
guest28:  i see lukes ego inflate right in front of my eyes
Emma:  I will be greedy
YourMoralLeader:  I don’t need levitra any more
Gina:  does lavitra work better for you than viagra?
Gina:  did you check if they are chometz?
Gina:  ‘cmon Luke, can’t I get a rise out of ya?
User guest56 (78.22.237.109) entered the room.
YourMoralLeader:  my doc prescribes levitra
YourMoralLeader:  viagra gave me a headache
YourMoralLeader:  but since I came to emma, i’ve no longer needed pharmacology
Gina:  OK, do you know Emma’s schedule?
Emma:  woo hoo
YourMoralLeader:  yes
YourMoralLeader:  you mean monthly cycle?
Gina:  yup
Gina:  nida or not
YourMoralLeader:  she gets violent before her period
YourMoralLeader:  throws things
Emma:  lool
Gina:  midol should help
Emma:  He will know when he is dodging something heavy
Gina:  Emma are you OK with the family purity laws?
Gina:  2 weeks on / 2 weeks off
User OhtheIrony left the room.
YourMoralLeader:  I haven’t taught her about them yet
Gina:  ironic how he left like that
Emma:  Nope I don’t know of them
Gina:  she’ll have to go to kallah classes
Gina:  and challah classes as well
Gina:  barefoot and in the kitchen
Gina:  making your dough rise
guest61:  go back to your families
guest61:  your works strike no sparks
guest61:  are there no cleaning jobs in your countries?
guest61:  busy yourselves with domestic chores
guest61:  they have no knowledge of the holy books
guest28:  how’s it hanging chaim ??
OldAbraham:  I wish I knew who you people were
guest61:  they embarass themselves
OldAbraham:  For all I knowk you are all etrannies
guest61:  with their ignorance
Gina:  not like you 61
guest61:  no
guest61:  I walk with the leader
guest28:  avraham avinu…i feel i know you not biblically of course
OldAbraham:  Fleygelas trying to get into my pants
guest28:  shalom al isroel
guest61:  Sodom and Gommorah
OldAbraham:  But I tell you, there you will find nothing but a small strip of kosher bacon
guest61:  ignorance
guest28:  but that small strip has so much flavor
guest61:  racists
OldAbraham:  You who wish sexual release from the cares of life must look to The Man – Luke – for that
guest61:  we wish only to be rid of fools like you
guest28:  i can’t its you i crave
OldAbraham:  Male or female, it would matter not, for when engaged in coitus,  Luke’s thoughts are with the oral law
guest61:  do your mothers know you are here
guest61:  shming them
guest61:  shaming*
OldAbraham:  Why are YOU here
OldAbraham:  Have you nothing better to do?
OldAbraham:  You are a shame for the Jewish people
guest61:  I keep the beast from the gate
guest61:  The filth from the fountain
OldAbraham:  You are the reason Hitlers come along
Gina:  Abe you were young when you came here
Gina:  now look at you
guest28:  i finished all my pesach cleaning i am all yours abraham for the taking
Gina:  to the highest bidder
OldAbraham:  guest28, I’m afraid geography keep us apart, again
guest61:  go and found your own religion for cretins
guest28:  no we live in the same city…
guest61:  Sodom
OldAbraham:  where is that…..
guest61:  Sodom
guest28:  you know brookyn
guest61:  it stinks
OldAbraham:  Sounds like the name of a celebrity’s daughter
guest28:  which celebrity ?
User guest64 left the room.
guest61:  see how they compete to see who is the stupidest
OldAbraham:  I forget
guest61:  begone
OldAbraham:  some celebrity
guest28:  61 go to gehenem
User guest61 was banned by broadcaster/admin.
User guest61 left the room.
OldAbraham:  So Luke, who was g61?
YourMoralLeader:  no idea
guest28:  69 i would know
OldAbraham:  Someone from the orthodox underworld?
Gina:  mossad perhaps
OldAbraham:  NO, a Templar
guest28:  someone from the sons of david ?
OldAbraham:  G28, if you live in Brooklyn, then tell me this: where do the hipsters roam?
guest28:  abraham what kind of matzohs did you buy??
OldAbraham:  Trippple shmura, of course
Gina:  willy B
guest28:  hipsters are so overated
OldAbraham:  Where do the Munkacer Hassidim hang out?
guest28:  you are cruising for hipsters now???
Gina:  the mikva
OldAbraham:  Hipsters often need to go to the mikvah
guest28:  minkatch stinckatch
OldAbraham:  any place with water
OldAbraham:  Hey Luke, there is this anarchy conference today I’m thinking of going to
Gina:  gotta go check up on Emma, brb
OldAbraham:  I’m thinking of attending a panel entitled "Anarchist people of color (APOC) Caucs
OldAbraham:  I don’t know who any of you are
User guest66 left the room.
OldAbraham:  Gina . . . G28 . . . Emma.  You could all be the same person.  The internet is full of people assuming false identies, I hear.
guest28:  abraham i am the one with the big yichus
OldAbraham:  A yichus that just won’t quit?
guest28:  we were intimate on line…gedenkst nisht ?
OldAbraham:  What size is your yichus?
OldAbraham:  I am never intimate online
OldAbraham:  Nor offline.
OldAbraham:  I am beyond these matters, like the Holy Father in Rome
User guest67 left the room.
OldAbraham:  I may pontificate on these topics but at a distance
guest28:  the size is immaterial…i come from greatness & i continue in its path
OldAbraham:  And speaking of that the Pope will be here at the end of the week.
OldAbraham:  I intend to line fifth avenue to catch a glimpse.
guest28:  what are you eating luke ?
OldAbraham:  Luke, whatever you are doing with your r hand, it looks like you are egnaged in onanism
OldAbraham:  Wow, he’s not munching
OldAbraham:  Why not?
guest28:  i plan to be behind you in line & cop a feel from the old abraham
OldAbraham:  How will I know that it is you and not some fliegal?
User guest68 left the room.
OldAbraham:  Also Luke, it looks like the sort of tremor a Parkinson’s victim has (May G-d provide our doctors with the wisdom to cure this disease)
guest28:  because i told you before i am all women…the whole geshefeft…how can i prove this to you ?
OldAbraham:  Only etrannies declare themselves to be "all women [sic]".  Real women can be judged that at a remove
OldAbraham:  Send me a photo
guest28:  i cannot blow my cover due to my extraordinary yichus
User guest56 changed their name to Sarah.
OldAbraham:  Describe your yicchus
guest28:  again…i cannot..its too dangerous to expose my sect
OldAbraham:  All you females, you real females, if you love Israel, the one thing you hopefully still can do that you must do is procreate.
OldAbraham:  Everything else is just talk
guest28:  peru urvu is my middle name
guest28:  he is shaking like a parki or a lulav
OldAbraham:  There is no substitute for numbers.
OldAbraham:  Jews and Whites need mating, not dating
guest28:  luke are your hands callused  beyond belief ??
OldAbraham:  Breeding, not playing
User Sarah left the room.
guest28:  who is under the desk gina ?
OldAbraham:  Like overeducated women elsewhere, too many Jewish women use their vaginas as toys while Palestinian women use theirs as cannon.
guest28:  i couldn’t have said it better myself
OldAbraham:  The Muslims are breeding an army of world beaters.
OldAbraham:  While Jewish women are watching "Sex in the City"
guest28:  that is why the state of israel is in big trouble
guest28:  are you mr. big ??
OldAbraham:  So you Jewish women who are able, whether you are married or single, PROCREATE NOW
guest28:  as we speak or blog
OldAbraham:  I am not able to give birth to a baby
OldAbraham:  In fact, this is what I want you to do
guest28:  it does not matter machshave kemaseh
OldAbraham:  Resolve that your next bit of ovulation does not go to waste like the sperm of a man who masturbates, casting his seed on the ground
guest28:  what shall i do oh great avraham ?
OldAbraham:  You must find a suitable man and have DANGER SEX with him
OldAbraham:  Safe sex = no increase
guest28:  i am all for danger sex
OldAbraham:  Real sex = DANGER SEX = Pregnant with the possibility of life
guest28:  mit vaimen???
OldAbraham:  Porn = condoms = birth control = population control for the wrong people = death
OldAbraham:  I am willing to air-ship my frozen sperm to any fertile woman who wants some
guest28:  luke spills his seed in vain like there’s no tommorow
OldAbraham:  So long as she is the right sort
guest28:  bring it over its local in brooklyn
OldAbraham:  I am afraid your family would not approve
OldAbraham:  and then your yichhus would diminish
OldAbraham:  But there must be many yeshiva boys around for you to use for this purpose
guest28:  my family is ok with you as you are one of our forefathers
OldAbraham:  Gina, you too
guest28:  i like a man with years of experience
Gina:  plumber crack alert
OldAbraham:  Otherwise, what we now see on the screen will be the fate of the Jewish people
OldAbraham:  Howling arab masses swarming everywhere, even at Zabars
OldAbraham:  While Jews play with their Wiis and the internet and blogging
Gina:  oy vey
guest28:  or gottliebs
OldAbraham:  JUDEN!  Listen to Old Abraham and spread your legs now, while it might do some good!
Gina:  sarah emeinu
Sarah:  hi gina
OldAbraham:  THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR SEX
OldAbraham:  The Arab woman understands this.
guest28:  tuchie crack has been seen !!
OldAbraham:  Not for her the diaphram or the pill
Gina:  whats the good vort?
OldAbraham:  BREED
OldAbraham:  It feels good, and it is good for your people
Sarah:  mm what is this stream about
OldAbraham:  It is about the demographic peril the Western world is in
Gina:  its a stream about nothing
OldAbraham:  Luke and I are renegade offshoots from theNational Alliance
Gina:  its going downstream
Sarah:  so the guy on the cam is the moral leader
guest28:  stream of consciousness
Gina:  and breeder
OldAbraham:  We were kicked out when they inspected our petzels and found that our foreskins were missing
Sarah:  breeder?
Gina:  mine breder
guest28:  pigs in a blanket ?
Gina:  brother in arms
OldAbraham:  Are any of you mothers?
Sarah:  ah brother
Sarah:  or breeder?
Gina:  both
OldAbraham:  If not, become one today!
Sarah:  so you are lovers?
Gina:  though I do not breed w/ my breder
OldAbraham:  We are as close as lips and teeth.  Some say we are the same person
guest28:  eventually we will be
Gina:  Luke is like a brother to me
Sarah:  well incest does happen
OldAbraham:  Well then, don’t breed with your brother
guest28:  i like incest
OldAbraham:  genetically bad
OldAbraham:  socially bad
Gina:  my sista?
Gina:  insist on it
OldAbraham:  Imagine the strength of a fabric with no warp and weft
Sarah:  he seems genetically already challenged by himself
Sarah:  who is he breeding with
OldAbraham:  Enough with this nareshkeit!  Women, get out there and find yourself a plausible source of semen, and use it to make a baby!
OldAbraham:  Sperm is cheap, eggs are expensive
Gina:  mine are all scrambled
Sarah:  lol
guest28:  i am going to shoprite NOW
Gina:  no yolk
OldAbraham:  Then buy some that are not, and turn them into babies
guest28:  men…they are not what they are cracked up to be
Sarah:  so he is a breeder, i see no kids
OldAbraham:  Use Craigslist if you must (as some frum women do)
Gina:  I want to adopt you
OldAbraham:  Men are sources of semen without which there can be no babies
guest28:  no i get him first
OldAbraham:  I am available to be adopted by anyone who can afford the experience
guest28:  i am a rich b**ch
Sarah:  so now i understand why homeless people procreate
OldAbraham:  The Torah has forseen this struggle, and provides for numerous forms of polygamy
guest28:  how old are you abraham?
Sarah:  to bring forth more homeless people
OldAbraham:  Thus, you may be my wife, pelegesh, or other
Gina:  how old is your semen, more importantly
OldAbraham:  I am very very old
OldAbraham:  Always fresh
guest28:  i want to know if the sperm is old
Sarah:  Luke Ford is that your real name?
OldAbraham:  Yes
OldAbraham:  ha ha
guest28:  how old is old ?  passed the expiration date?
OldAbraham:  Some say he is really "Chaim Amalek"
Sarah:  is that his office
Sarah:  or his home
Sarah:  or both
guest28:  chaim i implore you how old are jew ?
Sarah:  aha
OldAbraham:  If you run an anagram check on "chaim amalek" there you find your answer
Sarah:  i saw a picture of this chaim
OldAbraham:  How old are you, Sarah, guest28, etc.
OldAbraham:  and?
Sarah:  i’m 18
guest28:  old enough to bear your children
OldAbraham:  What are your respective hip to waist ratios?
Sarah:  maybe i don’t want to do so yet
guest28:  shmona estra lechuppah
Gina:  you’re right Welchs would not do
Gina:  stick with Kedem
OldAbraham:  18 is perfect time to start as you can then have many
Gina:  right grip
guest28:  shaivet
Sarah:  well i have to find the right man first
User guest69  entered the room.
Gina:  Luke is planning for 8
Sarah:  wow
Sarah:  8?
guest28:  breeders hip & will have them all at cedars sinai
User guest69 left the room.
Sarah:  with 8 women
Gina:  8 is enough
OldAbraham:  But what is the ratio
OldAbraham:  That business of a woman’s hips alone indicating fertility is false, it is the ratio
Gina:  no all emma’s
Sarah:  or who is this poor woman who will bare his children
OldAbraham:  I know women wiht narrow hips with many young
Sarah:  aha
Sarah:  who is this emma
OldAbraham:  Luke is grooming her to be his mate
Sarah:  does she live with him
OldAbraham:  She will soon enough
guest28:  therefore i am not a hipster
Sarah:  poor woman
Gina:  check out the new FAQ
Sarah:  ok
OldAbraham:  She will scandalize the women of LA
Sarah:  where is this faq
OldAbraham:  Men will flock to Luke’s lectures
guest28:  and will be featured in the Jewish Journal
Gina:  lukeford.net
Sarah:  ok
Sarah:  brb
OldAbraham:  "How I snagged an 18 year old white hottie on no money down"
guest28:  snagged but not kept
Gina:  free slice er dicer included
Sarah:  oh ok
Sarah:  nice girl
OldAbraham:  Snagging for a few years is victory
Sarah:  so she is with him
Gina:  they connect
OldAbraham:  All he has to do is get her pregnant, keep her pregnant or nursing, and she will be his
Sarah:  oh she is irish
guest28:  hopefully it will last a lifetime  moshiach is on the way
Sarah:  she lives in la?
Sarah:  she sleeps on the ground there
OldAbraham:  This was not the match I had in mind for LUke
Sarah:  not much place for 2
Sarah:  let alone 8
OldAbraham:  I had another that would have provided him with a good income
Sarah:  or altogether 10
guest28:  i also thought that her yichus was not up to snuff
Sarah:  wow
OldAbraham:  With a sturdy shiksa of South African descent
Gina:  Emma has gr8 potential
guest28:  lekah
OldAbraham:  She has what men want
Sarah:  she seems nice
Sarah:  i don’t know her
OldAbraham:  Forget about Ms. Magazine.
OldAbraham:  Men want what she has.
guest28:  which is ??
OldAbraham:  Ladies, if you are not married now, get married this year
Sarah:  so what does she have
OldAbraham:  Or get pregnant
Gina:  she will make a wonderful kallah
Gina:  and bake wonderful challa
Sarah:  what’s a challa
Gina:  alla malla
OldAbraham:  She is pretty, young, not angry or bitter, full of all the indicia of fertility
OldAbraham:  She is coltish
OlderAbraham:  Luke, set me up with Emma’s sister and we can double date
Gina:  but wiser
Gina:  but you have to buy her some bloomers
User guest71 left the room.
Sarah:  hello
OlderAbraham:  Hello
Gina:  from Victoria’s sud
guest28:  abraham you must stay within your tribe i command you
Gina:  you had me at Hello
OlderAbraham:  My seed swims in whatever pool it finds itself
guest28:  do not stray…your semen is too precious
OlderAbraham:  My advice to all of you is this.  If you want to meet someone (as for semen), then turn off your computers and walk out the front door
OlderAbraham:  The internet is but another tool of social isolation
OlderAbraham:  Sarah, go to church.  You too, guest28
Gina:  but if you stay here long enough, you will either kill yourself or desperately seek human interaction
Gina:  tough choices
OlderAbraham:  Guest28, I think you should hook up with a strapping red-haired Irish fireman named Shaumus
Gina:  28 is davening now
Gina:  leave her be
Gina:  she needs kavanah
OlderAbraham:  Gina, if you are not married, you too should head out and smile at a man today
Gina:  did you not hear the mincha chimes?
Gina:  OK, I will and be thinking of you as I do
Gina:  will smiling get me knocked up?
OlderAbraham:  And for Luke there is Emma.  Already he is preparing his tiny home for her visit, as by excavating a crawlspace beneath his feet
Sarah:  do you enter the conversation luke?
OlderAbraham:  He is aloof.
Gina:  enter gently please
OlderAbraham:  I speak for him
OlderAbraham:  I am the voice of Luke Ford
OlderAbraham:  Then and now and forever more
Sarah:  so she is going to visit him
OlderAbraham:  I am the Alpha and Omega
Sarah:  will we see that on cam
OlderAbraham:  Yes
OlderAbraham:  One day
Gina:  pay per view
Sarah:  nice
OlderAbraham:  It will come to pass
Sarah:  lol
Sarah:  when is this
Sarah:  i cannot wait
OlderAbraham:  Only Luke knows
Sarah:  ok luke?
OlderAbraham:  When will the Moshiach come?
OlderAbraham:  Who can say?
Gina:  mosiach will be at Luke and Emma’s chasana
Gina:  I’H
OlderAbraham:  Some say he already came.  Some say Frodo lives.
Gina:  he will be the unterferer
Sarah:  lol
Sarah:  he looks so serious
OlderAbraham:  As for you ladies, STEP AWAY FROM THOSE COMPUTERS AND FIND YOURSELF SOME SEMEN!
Gina:  marines
Sarah:  does he ever speak

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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