A Reader Just Sent Me A $1,000 Paypal Donation To Further My Ministry

So I’m on my live cam after a hard night learning Talmud, and I’m chatting on the phone and swigging my green tea and doing countless tasks while paying part-time attention to my chat, and after Guest 117 left, he donated to me $1,000 via paypal.

I’m stunned.

That’s only my second donation from paypal. The other $30 came from the Luke Ford Fan Blogger and he made me drop my trowsers.

This new man in my life, however, is straight. He’s a white bloke in China and a fellow sufferer of yellow fever.

I must form a non-profit foundation so I can get more of these donations.

How about a charter for the promotion of Torah journalism, Biblical prophecy and Talmudic humor?

I want to make my non-profit bigger than my father’s Good News Unlimited and Dennis Prager’s Micah Center and Dinners with a Difference.

I want to host meals at my hovel where Torah Jews have to interact with shvartzes and little yellow women.

I fear that we are living in the End of Days. I may not get to the mountain with you but I have seen the promised land where hot chicks are as likely to date bloggers as investment bankers.

Here’s the chat:

guest117:  Gentiles want to know
guest117:  So who are you talking to? Is he more important than your "followers?"
Darth:  Luke, whom to you prefer, Hillary or Obama?
Darth:  don’t ignore me
guest117:  We come here for guidance and you ignore us.
guest117:  Oy, some leader!
YourMoralLeader:  yo
YourMoralLeader:  prefer obama
YourMoralLeader:  i like him
guest117:  Obama may be "cool" but his wife is black to the bone
guest117:  It looks to me like you are "going Hollywood."
guest117:  Hashem, please, let there be no answer so Luke will pay attention to us
YourMoralLeader:  hi
guest117:  OK, there you go
guest117:  Make us feel that we matter to you, that we are important
guest117:  Some of our parents ignored us, so we are a bit sensitive
guest117:  I remain unconvinced
User guest120 left the room.
guest117:  Ever read Potok’s "The Chosen" or "The Promise"
guest117:  Remember the boy could not understand the way his Father raised him in silence?
TimeToPutClothesInDryer:  How are you?
guest117:  His Father, weeping over him, explained that because the boy was so intelligent, he was concerned that he might grow up "without a soul."
guest117:  So he basically entrusted him to Hashem to teach his son the lessons that would make him truly great
YourMoralLeader:  yes
YourMoralLeader:  that’s how i was raised
guest117:  So there you have it
TimeToPutClothesInDryer:  You do.
TimeToPutClothesInDryer:  You really do.
TimeToPutClothesInDryer:  I also seek freedom from legalism as you do.
TimeToPutClothesInDryer:  What is new with you?
guest117:  Luke, Do you get many donations?
DanielLA:  In all ways…….
YourMoralLeader:  I got one
guest117:  One donation?
guest117:  Seems like you should get more
guest117:  Any tax deduction connected with donations?
DanielLA:  Are donations made to you tax deductable?
User QuixoticLass entered the room.
YourMoralLeader:  hi boss
QuixoticLass:  good evening
QuixoticLass:  I’ve got no audio so if you want me to know what you’re saying you’ll have to type
guest117:  Have you considered forming a corporation that could legitimately provide tax deductions?
YourMoralLeader:  hmm, not yet
guest117:  Lots of money around there
DanielLA:  Luke, when was the last time you were in Australia?
guest117:  As a vegetarian, have you eaten bitter melon?
YourMoralLeader:  2000
YourMoralLeader:  no
guest117:  Nice music
guest117:  What is it?
YourMoralLeader:  libera
QuixoticLass:  how do you survive as a vegitarian without a real kitchen?
QuixoticLass:  vegetarian
YourMoralLeader:  toast
QuixoticLass:  haha
guest117:  Take care
QuixoticLass:  hola guapo
GUAPO:  what crackin?
GUAPO:  get real lonely at the crib so gotta come chill with luke
QuixoticLass:  we’re watching Luke fall asleep.  it’s fascinating.
User DanielLA changed their name to TimeToGetADiscount.
YourMoralLeader:  yo Guapo
GUAPO:  luke your depression back?
YourMoralLeader:  no
YourMoralLeader:  getting too much love
GUAPO:  mine still around
QuixoticLass:  there is no such thing as too much love
TimeToGetADiscount:  Luke….did you check out the link?
GUAPO:  luke how many songs you own?
GUAPO:  skywalker will you be on live chat till the end of days?
GUAPO:  what about when gta4 arrive luke?
QuixoticLass:  finally got the audio from when I first came in
QuixoticLass:  glad you like my name 🙂
GUAPO:  you cant tell me you gonna chat during gta4 arrival
GUAPO:  you a ps3 or xbox type of nigga luke?
YourMoralLeader:  i dont understand
YourMoralLeader:  what’s xbox?
TimeToGetADiscount:  http://www.lukeford.net
GUAPO:  its that thing you put gta4 in to play
QuixoticLass:  what?
GUAPO:  be honest what porno site you browse while chat?
QuixoticLass:  baruch hashem!
YourMoralLeader:  0
GUAPO:  yeah that was for your boy guapo
TimeToGetADiscount:  Luke, are we enabling your narcissism?
GUAPO:  true
TimeToGetADiscount:  cool.
TimeToGetADiscount:  It’s about time.
TimeToGetADiscount:  Who?
QuixoticLass:  wooo hoooo
TimeToGetADiscount:  Do you know who?
GUAPO:  you was too depressed yesterday so i felt the need to lighten your spirits
QuixoticLass:  don’t quit your day job!
TimeToGetADiscount:  Do you know whom?
QuixoticLass:  do people donate often?
QuixoticLass:  1K should just about cover the macaroons for pesach
GUAPO:  go buy yourself air bed luke
TimeToGetADiscount:  Do you know whom?

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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