I’m A Disgrace

From my live cam chat:

guest5:  he has not changed his clothes since yesterday
RACKoRIBS:  slept in them evidently
guest5:  frankly he looks a mess
guest5:  oi vey
guest5:  he is letting us down
RACKoRIBS:  its only 9:25 in the morning there
guest5:  no excuses please
RACKoRIBS:  ya, your righrt
guest5:  would you let your mother see you like that?
RACKoRIBS:  i would, cause i don’t give a s**t
guest5:  well you are not jewish
RACKoRIBS:  no, i am not
guest5:  it would bring shame on the family
guest6:  hello from ireland
RACKoRIBS:  shame shame on you moral leader
RACKoRIBS:  should get cleaned up
guest5:  he is not fit to lead
guest5:  I am sorry about this man
guest5:  he brings shame on us all
RACKoRIBS:  so is your video on the google top 100 today?
YourMoralLeader:  yep!
YourMoralLeader:  got a ton of hits
YourMoralLeader:  please bow down to me
RACKoRIBS:  where is the link..i don’t bow down
guest5:  you are a disgrace
YourMoralLeader:  google her name and then search "luke"
guest5:  peddling your trash here
guest5:  oi vey

A teacher emails: "Hey man, it turns out your website is blocked by the filter at lausd.  Mazel tov!!!!!  I know this is a big mark of success for you.  Congratulations.  Keep up the good work."

est58:  But why live in a room and chat all day and night when you could be home?
User guest81 left the room.
RussianDragon:  he is home on cam
RussianDragon:  i think
YourMoralLeader:  online is my home
RussianDragon:  will you still be online in the future
guest58:  Oh I see you are an intravert
YourMoralLeader:  i’m about to leave for LA press club awards,
YourMoralLeader:  wanna beat traffic
YourMoralLeader:  will hang in starbucks for three hours
nicolletista:  how many will you win?
DiscoDuck:  what do you do on Shabbat?
guest58:  What type of press do you do in L.A.?
YourMoralLeader:  blog
guest58:  I would hope you would clean up before you go.
YourMoralLeader:  i’ll let you guys check me over before i leave
nicolletista:  all right luca
guest58:  That would be good
guest58:  Do they give awards for blogging?
RussianDragon:  ok bye luke
DiscoDuck:  what do you do on Shabbat?
YourMoralLeader:  go to shul
YourMoralLeader:  i misspoke, it is just a party, not awards
RussianDragon:  are you a rebel without a shul
YourMoralLeader:  no longer
guest58:  Party is a good way to meet people
RussianDragon:  wow
RussianDragon:  good on you
DiscoDuck:  with this time you have do you learn during the week
YourMoralLeader:  yes
YourMoralLeader:  i learn torah regualrly
DiscoDuck:  sounds good
RussianDragon:  do you speak hebrew very well?
YourMoralLeader:  no
DiscoDuck:  which email can I send the shul review to?
YourMoralLeader:  lukeisback@gmail.com you are the best!
YourMoralLeader:  together we can make a better world
YourMoralLeader:  tikkun olam
DiscoDuck:  that is true
DiscoDuck:  I see the biggest problem today with Judaism is inter-fighting
LukeFordsHairPiece:  YLM, do you speak Pig Latin very well?
LukeFordsHairPiece:  Discoduck…….you mean….intra-fighting……..as we are all in the same boat, thought some of us are closer to the latrine than others.
YourMoralLeader:  i think it’s apathy
YourMoralLeader:  yes
YourMoralLeader:  fighting means you care
DiscoDuck:  where will it be published on your blog?
DiscoDuck:  in fighting has always been a problem for the Jewish people
DiscoDuck:  the answer to bring moshiach is right there and yet we can’t all get along
DiscoDuck:  besides doing mitzvot what are you going to do to bring moshiach yml?
DiscoDuck:  I’m not getting audio
guest58:  He is doing a commercial
guest58:  There is no audio alot of the time
guest58:  He did this yesterday
DiscoDuck:  Especially with the scruffy beard I could see him dancing with Cunin at the Chabad Telethon
guest58:  hey HairPiece, how is it that the YML is answering questions but I dont see him on his key board?
User guest85 entered the room.
guest58:  Is the guy on the screen the same as the guy in red letters?
DiscoDuck:  no that is his evil twin
LukeFordsHairPiece:  His moral leadership types in his stead…………..
LukeFordsHairPiece:  YLM is a master delegater; his next-door neighbor belches for him.
guest58:  Something is very strange
DiscoDuck:  his braided arm pit hair?
DiscoDuck:  or food particles in his beard?
LukeFordsHairPiece:  He keeps fit by having the owner of his hovel eat all the fattening foods he would like to
guest58:  I dont think he looks very fit
LukeFordsHairPiece:  His rabbi reads his siddur for him.
DiscoDuck:  have him do a bmi for you guest 58
guest58:  His rabbi must answer his blogs also
LukeFordsHairPiece:  His gentile neighbors eat all of his treif.
guest58:  what is a bmi?
DiscoDuck:  body mass index
DiscoDuck:  get out of your cave once in a while
guest58:  oh Lord help me
LukeFordsHairPiece:  When he passes gas, he blames the nearest dog.
guest58:  Which in CA has been eaten by now
DiscoDuck:  doesn’t it smell like rose petals?

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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