I’m A Disgrace

From my live cam chat:

guest5:  he has not changed his clothes since yesterday
RACKoRIBS:  slept in them evidently
guest5:  frankly he looks a mess
guest5:  oi vey
guest5:  he is letting us down
RACKoRIBS:  its only 9:25 in the morning there
guest5:  no excuses please
RACKoRIBS:  ya, your righrt
guest5:  would you let your mother see you like that?
RACKoRIBS:  i would, cause i don’t give a s**t
guest5:  well you are not jewish
RACKoRIBS:  no, i am not
guest5:  it would bring shame on the family
guest6:  hello from ireland
RACKoRIBS:  shame shame on you moral leader
RACKoRIBS:  should get cleaned up
guest5:  he is not fit to lead
guest5:  I am sorry about this man
guest5:  he brings shame on us all
RACKoRIBS:  so is your video on the google top 100 today?
YourMoralLeader:  yep!
YourMoralLeader:  got a ton of hits
YourMoralLeader:  please bow down to me
RACKoRIBS:  where is the link..i don’t bow down
guest5:  you are a disgrace
YourMoralLeader:  google her name and then search "luke"
guest5:  peddling your trash here
guest5:  oi vey

A teacher emails: "Hey man, it turns out your website is blocked by the filter at lausd.  Mazel tov!!!!!  I know this is a big mark of success for you.  Congratulations.  Keep up the good work."

est58:  But why live in a room and chat all day and night when you could be home?
User guest81 left the room.
RussianDragon:  he is home on cam
RussianDragon:  i think
YourMoralLeader:  online is my home
RussianDragon:  will you still be online in the future
guest58:  Oh I see you are an intravert
YourMoralLeader:  i’m about to leave for LA press club awards,
YourMoralLeader:  wanna beat traffic
YourMoralLeader:  will hang in starbucks for three hours
nicolletista:  how many will you win?
DiscoDuck:  what do you do on Shabbat?
guest58:  What type of press do you do in L.A.?
YourMoralLeader:  blog
guest58:  I would hope you would clean up before you go.
YourMoralLeader:  i’ll let you guys check me over before i leave
nicolletista:  all right luca
guest58:  That would be good
guest58:  Do they give awards for blogging?
RussianDragon:  ok bye luke
DiscoDuck:  what do you do on Shabbat?
YourMoralLeader:  go to shul
YourMoralLeader:  i misspoke, it is just a party, not awards
RussianDragon:  are you a rebel without a shul
YourMoralLeader:  no longer
guest58:  Party is a good way to meet people
RussianDragon:  wow
RussianDragon:  good on you
DiscoDuck:  with this time you have do you learn during the week
YourMoralLeader:  yes
YourMoralLeader:  i learn torah regualrly
DiscoDuck:  sounds good
RussianDragon:  do you speak hebrew very well?
YourMoralLeader:  no
DiscoDuck:  which email can I send the shul review to?
YourMoralLeader:  lukeisback@gmail.com you are the best!
YourMoralLeader:  together we can make a better world
YourMoralLeader:  tikkun olam
DiscoDuck:  that is true
DiscoDuck:  I see the biggest problem today with Judaism is inter-fighting
LukeFordsHairPiece:  YLM, do you speak Pig Latin very well?
LukeFordsHairPiece:  Discoduck…….you mean….intra-fighting……..as we are all in the same boat, thought some of us are closer to the latrine than others.
YourMoralLeader:  i think it’s apathy
YourMoralLeader:  yes
YourMoralLeader:  fighting means you care
DiscoDuck:  where will it be published on your blog?
DiscoDuck:  in fighting has always been a problem for the Jewish people
DiscoDuck:  the answer to bring moshiach is right there and yet we can’t all get along
DiscoDuck:  besides doing mitzvot what are you going to do to bring moshiach yml?
DiscoDuck:  I’m not getting audio
guest58:  He is doing a commercial
guest58:  There is no audio alot of the time
guest58:  He did this yesterday
DiscoDuck:  Especially with the scruffy beard I could see him dancing with Cunin at the Chabad Telethon
guest58:  hey HairPiece, how is it that the YML is answering questions but I dont see him on his key board?
User guest85 entered the room.
guest58:  Is the guy on the screen the same as the guy in red letters?
DiscoDuck:  no that is his evil twin
LukeFordsHairPiece:  His moral leadership types in his stead…………..
LukeFordsHairPiece:  YLM is a master delegater; his next-door neighbor belches for him.
guest58:  Something is very strange
DiscoDuck:  his braided arm pit hair?
DiscoDuck:  or food particles in his beard?
LukeFordsHairPiece:  He keeps fit by having the owner of his hovel eat all the fattening foods he would like to
guest58:  I dont think he looks very fit
LukeFordsHairPiece:  His rabbi reads his siddur for him.
DiscoDuck:  have him do a bmi for you guest 58
guest58:  His rabbi must answer his blogs also
LukeFordsHairPiece:  His gentile neighbors eat all of his treif.
guest58:  what is a bmi?
DiscoDuck:  body mass index
DiscoDuck:  get out of your cave once in a while
guest58:  oh Lord help me
LukeFordsHairPiece:  When he passes gas, he blames the nearest dog.
guest58:  Which in CA has been eaten by now
DiscoDuck:  doesn’t it smell like rose petals?

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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