Holly Randall Was Live In My Chatroom

Click here for my live cam and watch me sleep. It’s purifying and edifying and sanctifying.

135: But I like it – it’s like a candlelight dinner at your place, without the candlelight or dinner.
guest135:  Why do you sigh? Is this camera in real time or a few sec delay?
YourMoralLeader:  15 second delay appx
guest135:  Okay. So what do you want to know? Make it quick, because you look like you may go to sleep.
guest135:  I think you know too much already.
guest135:  Luke, I will not be the one to feed your fantasies. This time. You invited me and so here I am. Will you pls speak up, 95?
YourMoralLeader:  oy ve, a lot has happened since I invited you…
YourMoralLeader:  i’m a different man now
guest135:  Oh, I see I was on a big list. Okay! I like different men…
YourMoralLeader:  hi donna
guest135:  Ok, lol yourself.
YourMoralLeader:  we were a livelier room a couple of hours ago
guest135:  Well, hopefully you
guest135:  will post excerpts on the blog
YourMoralLeader:  i’m learning al lthis
YourMoralLeader:  what’s new with you?
guest135:  Yet you remain the master of multi-tasking…
guest135:  Hurry, I see there is a Catholic Priest on the cam I may want to catch..
guest135:  I had an interesting dinner with some people you know the other night…
guest135:  Your name may have come up once or twice. But who knows, maybe one of them is one of the other guests here…
YourMoralLeader:  πŸ™‚ i’m going to bed, gnight
guest138:  jesus Luke you look like you’ve been lost in the wild for months
YourMoralLeader:  thanks for coming
YourMoralLeader:  i have been
guest138:  no kidding
guest138:  how long have you been on here?
guest138:  i just got your email
YourMoralLeader:  a week
guest138:  do you know who this is?
YourMoralLeader:  no
guest138:  you can’t tell by the insulting tone/
guest138:  ?
YourMoralLeader:  no
guest138:  it’s holly
YourMoralLeader:  no way
YourMoralLeader:  darling
guest138:  lol
YourMoralLeader:  i had all these people calling for you
guest138:  did you get new shelving
guest138:  oh boy
YourMoralLeader:  no
guest138:  sorry i was taking a bath
YourMoralLeader:  just organized diff
YourMoralLeader:  rereading my memoir?
guest138:  i thought all your furniture consisted of cardboard boxes
guest138:  piled on top of each other
guest138:  i guess i remember the hovel differently
guest138:  no sorry i wasn’t
guest138:  i’ve read that so many times i’ve memorized it πŸ˜‰
YourMoralLeader:  it was you who piled on top of in here
YourMoralLeader:  was
YourMoralLeader:  yeah, i’ve done it up real nice here, you should come check it out
YourMoralLeader:  if you are willing to risk your honor
guest138:  hahahahahahahahahaha
guest138:  i have honor?
guest135:  OOh, this is getting intimate. Good night, Luke!
YourMoralLeader:  she offered her honor
YourMoralLeader:  i honored her offer
YourMoralLeader:  and all night i was on her and off her
User guest135 left the room.
guest138:  oh the bad jokes just keep coming and coming don’t they
YourMoralLeader:  we drove out my 135 friend
guest138:  no kidding
guest138:  and i didn’t even start talking dirty yet
guest138:  sheesh
YourMoralLeader:  is there anything of mine that you’d like to see?
guest138:  i was going to make a really bad joek
guest138:  joke
guest138:  but i won’t b/c i’m not mean like you
YourMoralLeader:  you make me want to be a better man
YourMoralLeader:  thanks for the newsweek article
YourMoralLeader:  what’s new with you?
guest138:  you’re welcome
guest138:  i tried a new toothpaste
YourMoralLeader:  do you have your own cam?
guest138:  and i think it gave me a stomachace
guest138:  hell no
guest138:  i’m not a pervert like you
guest139:  lol
guest138:  have you undressed in front of your cam yet?
guest139:  rofl
YourMoralLeader:  that would be against the torah
guest139:  hey sup ML
guest138:  c’mon you know you hit up unsuspecting jewish singles
guest138:  and flash them
guest138:  i know you do
guest139:  lol
YourMoralLeader:  gently gently
guest138:  nothing on but your black socks, right/
guest138:  you know every time i see a guy naked except for his  black socks i think of you
guest139:  my eyes!!!
guest138:  hey man, you haven’t seen it in person
guest138:  i have
guest139:  lol
guest138:  MY eyes
guest139:  *wears blindfold*
:  so… ML what is your cam thingie on here for?
guest138:  what do you think?
YourMoralLeader:  I was a different man then Holly, I’ve changed
User guest140 left the room.
guest138:  yeah rigth
guest138:  right
YourMoralLeader:  to pick up chix?
guest139:  lol
YourMoralLeader:  how often do you see naked men in black sox these days?
YourMoralLeader:  ho
guest139:  well im going bye πŸ˜›
User guest139 left the room.
YourMoralLeader:  we frightened ’em
guest138:  well not often
guest138:  because they usually wear white socks
YourMoralLeader:  have you cast any of your movies to model the scenes we did in your bedroom?
guest138:  yeah well they’re a bunch of sissies
guest138:  not really
YourMoralLeader:  good, i’d feel violtaed
YourMoralLeader:  violated
guest138:  i can’t find a man to play the role as well as you did πŸ˜‰
YourMoralLeader:  πŸ™‚
YourMoralLeader:  u never will
guest138:  lol
guest138:  i’m sure i won’t
YourMoralLeader:  the chix i meet at temple don’t dig it when i tell ’em i’m gonna f— ’em like a whore
guest138:  do you have this link up on your site or something?
YourMoralLeader:  yes
YourMoralLeader:  lukeford.net
guest138:  oh
guest138:  no wonder i scared them all off
YourMoralLeader:  what u reading these days?
guest138:  a heartbreaking work of staggering genius
guest95:  yeah, u think he’s luke ford-lite?
guest138:  no seriously that’s the name of the book
guest138:  he was a pulitzer prize finalist
guest95:  i know, dave eggers is a wanna be luke ford
guest138:  oh
guest138:  lol that’s funny
guest138:  that you’d think that
guest95:  have you seen ATONEMENT? good film, also JUNO loved them
guest138:  hated atonement
guest95:  why?
guest138:  liked juno
guest95:  u have no heart
guest138:  it dragged on and on
guest95:  no wonder I dumped you
guest138:  it was a pretentious film
guest138:  ha!
guest138:  you wish you could say that
YourMoralLeader:  u like my beard?
guest138:  it makes you look like you might be active
guest141:  i sthis live?
guest138:  like maybe you rock climb
guest138:  or just hang out under freeway bridges and flash people
YourMoralLeader:  yeah, kinda studly
guest138:  either way
YourMoralLeader:  i’m all alpha male holly
guest141:  one word .. razor ..
YourMoralLeader:  against my religion
guest138:  he’s trying to look more jewish
guest138:  i think it just makes him look more homelss
YourMoralLeader:  does it work?
YourMoralLeader:  do I look holier?
guest141:  word two ..  clean up young laddie ..
guest141:  this is the mayor of LA .. the babes like it clean and smooth .. trust me
YourMoralLeader:  girls like the way this tickles ’em
guest138:  well there’s no fun when you get pubic hair in your teeth
guest138:  oh wait, we’re talking about his face, sorry i forgot
guest141:  mirthala taught me .. clean and smooth . repeat and rinse .. and again and again
guest141:  hi ca-rumba!  .. aribba! .. el grizzly ford adams
YourMoralLeader:  ever make it with a bearded man, Holly?
YourMoralLeader:  under a freeway off-ramp?
YourMoralLeader:  over a shopping cart?
guest138:  no but i’m always up for new experiences
YourMoralLeader:  that’s my girl, how about the 405/101
guest143:  anyone seen outlawrocker??
guest138:  is that a special underpass?
guest141:  you call that beard … thats no beard .. that’s the OJ beard bought down at the Cinema Secrets in Burbank … gas up the bronco Luke its time to RUN!
YourMoralLeader:  yeah, biggest in nation, holly
guest141:  edge or foamy .. u decide? ..
YourMoralLeader:  i’ve lost weight, holly, not taking my lithium
guest141:  sit the hell down boy … and quit drinking that moonshine!
YourMoralLeader:  i’m off the hook, macking at a high level, using my herman goerring impressions to deadly effect
guest138:  wonderful, so that means you’re crazy
YourMoralLeader:  totally
User guest143 left the room.
YourMoralLeader:  i’m drinking whiskey
guest138:  i’ve lost weight too, down from the 150 you so kindly put me at on one of your taped midnight ramblings
YourMoralLeader:  u carry it well
guest138:  yeah yeah
YourMoralLeader:  i hardly even noticed when it was on top of me, crushing me, driving out my breath
YourMoralLeader:  making me feel like i was gonna die
guest138:  f**k off sock man
guest141:  Luke are famous enough to get a gig on the HAKALM TO LIFE telethon!  .. lalalalalalaalalalalala
YourMoralLeader:  what you weigh now?
guest138:  you felt like you were gonna die because you were getting the best sex of your life
YourMoralLeader:  lol
guest141:  I luv that show .. its a seasonal classic.. kind like santa claus is coming to town ..
guest138:  i’m down to 140
guest138:  trying to drop another 7-10 lbs
guest138:  but i like food
guest138:  i had to give up dairy, which helped
guest138:  what can i say, i’m a heavy girl
YourMoralLeader:  nothing wrong with that, more cushion for the pushin
guest141:  Luke .. this is your father … use the force Luke …   Luke U R My son … you must come to the dark side! πŸ™‚
YourMoralLeader:  when I can no longer carry you over the threshhold is when i’ll worry
User guest142 left the room.
guest138:  uh huh
YourMoralLeader:  ur part of history, holly
YourMoralLeader:  this is my biggest chat ever
guest145:  Hi luke , long time reader, first time poster, just a quick question was wondering why you have me on your no list?  you are an intelligent man and it seems like a really ignorant decision on your part, expected more from you
YourMoralLeader:  what no list? who are you?
guest141:  Luke …  where did you go .. LUKE SIT YOUR ASS DOWN … THIS OBI WAN f——ING kaaa-nooooo-beee
guest141:  I am the egg man .. koo koo ka choo!
guest138:  hahaha i know who that is
YourMoralLeader:  who?
guest138:  i’m not saying
guest145:  i was all set to do a scene with you when the director called and said you had me on your no list, been trying to reach you for some time
YourMoralLeader:  must’ve been a misunderstanding
guest138:  actually i don’t know him/her personally
guest141:  what is this porn chat? … come on .. keep it clean kiddies
guest138:  luke just can’t escape his past
YourMoralLeader:  145, ur stage name?
guest145:  c x
guest138:  you know what they say, porn is like the black hole
guest138:  when you get in you can never get ooooout….
guest145:  nice cough you got going there, it rivals your beard
guest138:  muahahahaha
guest145:  how many of those books do you think lukes read, im guessing less then 3
guest138:  i can guarantee you he’s read them all
guest138:  but trust me they’re all incredibly boring
YourMoralLeader:  Holly, I been with chix who weighed close to 200, so you’re nothing, I was lucky to have you when you were vulnerable.
guest141:  Luke I see your promoting BRITA water filters . r they paying you!  .. drink the tap water its better for u
guest145:  ok hhow many does he understand im guessing less then 3 πŸ™‚
guest138:  most of them SHOULD be self help books
guest138:  oh well thanks Luke
guest138:  i guess that’s a compliment
guest145:  im just bitter he cost me $600
guest145:  sexy
YourMoralLeader:  145, i was in a dark period of my life then
guest141:  LUKE .. RU LISTENING .. this is MIRTHALA .. I want u Luke .. TONY V .. said u r THE MAN ..
YourMoralLeader:  Please, 141, you’ll make Holly jealous, she rages
guest145:  haha hes still doing the whole jewish thing?
YourMoralLeader:  very jealous girl
guest145:  luke what are your thoughts on th current state of lukeisback?
YourMoralLeader:  0
YourMoralLeader:  Holly loved it when I made love to her with a gun to her head
guest141:  r u barricading your self .. should I call SWAT?
guest141:  whats the address again?
guest145:  why do i feel like im watching deleted scenes from the big lebowski?
guest141:  more moonshine!
guest145:  am i the only person who finds this depressing?
YourMoralLeader:  will you guys vote for me in 2010 when I run for US Senate?
guest145:  luke thoughts on the current state of lukeisback?
YourMoralLeader:  0 thoughts
guest145:  thats a shame
guest141:  no I already told Villar he’s got my vote  .. sorry ..
guest145:  thoughts on mary carey?
YourMoralLeader:  0
guest145:  thoughts on jim carey?
guest141:  mary carey .. sister to drew? … AH HAAAA
bornyo:  hi
bornyo:  is that yogurt?
YourMoralLeader:  dude
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  what the hell .. im gonna puke!
YourMoralLeader:  long time
YourMoralLeader:  good to see ya
YourMoralLeader:  chapped nose, been blowing it harder than holly randall with a professor
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  dont turn you back on me B——tch!
bornyo:  snap, jew smack
HollyRandall:  hey luke we miss your COD
HollyRandall:  we really do
YourMoralLeader:  thank you, it’s made zero impact on hollywood,
YourMoralLeader:  it’s better suited for porn
HollyRandall:  pornstars have been looking too good in photographs recently
HollyRandall:  it’s unnatural
bornyo:  mary misses you πŸ™
bornyo:  she has no one to talk to when she sleeps with nba players, shes lost without you
User guest149 left the room.
YourMoralLeader:  Among the most scary parts of life are when you lean in for the first time to kiss a girl. I’ll be thinking about it for hours or days sometimes. Other times I’m feeling real strong and smooth and I just swoop in.
YourMoralLeader:  About a fifth of the time, the girl has been the first one to kiss me. Much of the time the girl says, "I thought you were never going to do that."
YourMoralLeader:  Holly had to make the first move on me.
bornyo:  hot
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  Lukester ..  just imagine michael moore and you’ll be ok .. that will keep from worrying about it
YourMoralLeader:   I’m slow. I’m so verbal I’ve usually talked everything out and through with her before I make my first move.Once this grad student 15 years younger said to me as I was leaning in the first time, "I heard you were in a porno."
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  or tony and one of lapd security babes .. you know what I mean .. I YI YI YI YI πŸ™‚
YourMoralLeader:  There’s no predicting how she’s going to react. Getting rejected here puts your relationship in a very awkward state. She’ll likely come out with the "I just want to be friends" line and you’re condemned to purgatory.According to the book "The Game," you
bornyo:  what a lovely story, one to share with the family over christmas
HollyRandall:  LOL
YourMoralLeader:  you let the conversation trail off and then look her in the eye. If she stares back at you for three seconds, she’s ready to kiss.
YourMoralLeader:  would you agree, Holly?
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  luke!
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:   where’s the moonshine!
YourMoralLeader:  Other suggestions:* Tell yourself you’re a caveman and she’s just practice.* Ask for a massage because you’re sore from playing basketball. Then tell her she’s doing it wrong and you’ll show her how to do it right…
bornyo:  god those books are complete crap theres no formula to it
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  take a swag!
YourMoralLeader:  u want me to bring back the gun?
YourMoralLeader:  * Ask her to stick out her tongue. Then start sucking on it. If she protests, and slaps you, you’ve got a great story.
guest151:  Moral what?  leader?
bornyo:  i was expecting a nice clean chat, im disappointed
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  YOU AUSSIE HILLBILLY!  .. 
YourMoralLeader:  * Get her to focus on something else. I’ve found watching a movie together rocks. You both lie down on the floor and you start watching the movie and you snuggle up and… This has never failed me. Point out the view or your puppets or the TV or something
YourMoralLeader:  * Ask to show her something on your computer. Winamp visualizations etc. Kiss her on the cheek. If she turns to you, kiss her on the lips.
bornyo:  god what movies do you enjoy watching luke?
guest151:  Moral……..u have no MORALS
YourMoralLeader:  So why does any of this matter? "A man has only one escape form his old self: to see a different self in the mirror of some woman’s eyes." (Clare Boothe Luce)
guest151:  u are a player
YourMoralLeader:  that’s how we roll in my ‘hood
YourMoralLeader:  respek
guest151:  yeah I see that MORAL
bornyo:  ive been sober for 14 months
guest151:  yes i DID
guest151:  how can u say u are MORAL
HollyRandall:  ok i’m sorry but MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez you are the MOST annoying person in a chatroom
bornyo:  how long have you been straight for luke?
YourMoralLeader:  I feel honored to have you guys in my life
YourMoralLeader:  You complete me!
YourMoralLeader:  eight months now
bornyo:  got you beat
HollyRandall:  does it not bother you that nobody is listening to you?
guest151:  no u need saved MORAL LEADER
YourMoralLeader:  no
HollyRandall:  SHUT UP!
bornyo:  haha
HollyRandall:  f**kin hell
HollyRandall:  what, are you 12?
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  11.5
bornyo:  da burg has his nightly webcam chat going on now, im so torn
HollyRandall:  lol
YourMoralLeader:  lol
HollyRandall:  ok kids i gotta go edit some dirty photos
YourMoralLeader:  what’s been going on in porn?
guest151:  some THINK they are saved…………..some KNOW they are
YourMoralLeader:  gnight holly
bornyo:  luke has face yogurt he has a stuffed bear, what should I do?
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  WHOS YOUR DADDY .. HOLLY?
YourMoralLeader:  humphry
HollyRandall:  lol
guest152:  are those barretts in your hair
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  COME TO PAPPA ..
User guest153 left the room.
bornyo:  it holds his jew cap in place
HollyRandall:  ok i’m leaving before i virtually strangle this guy
YourMoralLeader:  we should
YourMoralLeader:  all do this again
HollyRandall:  you need to post a time and this link on XPT
HollyRandall:  they all miss you
guest151:  that aint goona wash away all your sins MORAL  rubbing that face
YourMoralLeader:  ok will do
User guest154 left the room.
bornyo:  i dont miss you
HollyRandall:  lol
bornyo:  you cost me $600
HollyRandall:  hahahahaha
guest151:  nor the hair growth
bornyo:  with your ignorance
HollyRandall:  nite guys
User HollyRandall left the room.
bornyo:  night luke
guest151:  u need more  than monshine MORAL
User bornyo left the room.
YourMoralLeader:  night all
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  nooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!
guest152:  so what is with the barretts in the hair
YourMoralLeader:  my kipa
guest152:  are you gay
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  gay barrets ..
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  I feel pretty .. oh so pretty .. like a little girl!
guest151:  love a male who keeps rubbing his beard…………he is nervous
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  whats the freqency kenneth?
guest151:  he is a thinker  lol
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  Im sorry luke . what the dosage?
guest151:  lethal dosage
MirthalaVillaSalinasNunez:  mono on mono .. lets get ready to RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMBLE!

the latest LA Weekly has a cover story on how LA politicos and developers are trying to turn LA into a high-density city, with apartment buildings without parking (in theory, public transit would be used…in theory) and how this runs counter to what Zev Yaroslavsky and others fought in the 80’s to avoid. And so on.

The mayor has ducked out of the conversation, basically, leaving others including some from obscure city and state departments to decide on how things will be, etc.

I don’t know how much you’re focussed these days on local stories, but if you still think that’s where the action is, this seems interesting.
And, just a reminder–looks like the Pellicano stuff is heating up. The NY Times has an article. Also, a good long thing on DeadlineHollywood where Nikki F. details the who’s-and-why’s for people who don’t know or don’t recall: deadlinehollywooddaily.com/what-a-surpise-hollywood-only-bit-player-in-pellicano-trial/

("surpise" is the way it is in the link).

Also some stuff further up on her blog about how P. may go through 2 trials not just one.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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