Hot Chix

“I was reading your blog,” she said. “So you want to get married?”

“Yes,” I said.

“What age range are you looking for?”

“Oh,” I said, “thirty to forty.”

“When you wrote about looking around the audience for hot chix, I don’t think you meant thirty to forty.”

“Oh,” I said. “So you want the truth? You don’t just want a politically correct answer about how much I value the maturity and wisdom of the older woman. OK, I’d like to date a woman between 18 and 40 years of age.”

“So you need a girl with daddy issues.”

“Ahh, yes,” I said. “Half the time I date women my own age. The rest of the time, much younger. I don’t fetishize. She doesn’t have to be Asian or black or busty. Just so long as she loves God and Torah and turns me on. I’m a very simple man with very simple needs. I want to live a simple life following God’s immutable moral law. I want to give.”

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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