Lost Journal Entry by Luke Ford

January 3

I’ve been having nightmares about the wallaby again, mate.

When one of those blasted buggers decides to have a go at you, there’s nothing you can do. They’re vicious creatures.

I stare into the wallaby’s black eyes. I’m deadly scared.

“I did it all to honk off my Dad!” I cry.

That’s when the wallaby starts kicking me. Kicking me to bloody pieces. Their back legs are spring-loaded; they’re like bands of steel, mate.

I squeal and begin to sob: “Nay…nay….”

My Dad always warned me I’d grow up to be a ponce. Is this my comeuppance for stealing Cocoa Krispies from the homeless and gloating over the sugary treats?

As the savage marsupial mounts me, I hear the voice of my Dad yelling “Sinkers or floaters today, boy? You’re nothing but a sinker in the bowl of life.”

I squeal like a girl as I awaken, choking on my protective mouth guard. I’ve got the fear, mate. The wallaby is coming for me.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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