All during shopping and my other chores, I was ticked off and fine-tuning my email. I couldn’t wait to write it and tell her how I really felt.
It’s such a shocker it didn’t go down so well.
Chicks don’t dig it when you send them carefully reasoned emails about how they’re acting ******.
They say they want to know how you’re feeling and thinking. Well, it’s hard for me to share vulnerable stuff in the moment. I’m a man, a manly man, the manliest man in Pico-Robertson. It’s not easy for me to say how I’m feeling. I don’t like to say, "You hurt my feelings." That feels gay. I’m no cocksucker.
When she says something in the moment that hurts me, I stew on it. I may wait days before I give it right back to her in email. But it never achieves the salutary effect I seek. It just pisses her off and distances us.
The easiest way I know to communicate my feelings is through writing. If I can’t write my feelings to you, then you’re just not going to know many of my deepest feelings and thoughts.
Sure, I said I’d write them up and then share them with you in person. But that’s not going to happen. Too much bother. I hate talking about my feelings and how easily they are punctured.
On the other hand, I hate receiving scathing emails. It never makes me want to get closer to the person. I’m gonna have to be more honest and vulnerable in the moment and let her know when she’s crossed a line, but do it gently in a way that she can hear it.
I’d rather just write her scathing emails. Write everyone scathing emails. Isolate myself in the hovel.
Rabbi Mordecai Finley said that if you ever find yourself looking forward to reproving someone, you should not do it. He’s right.