Category Archives: Personal

My Search For Substitute Father Figures

At age 12 at Pacific Union College in the Napa Valley, I took up jogging, eventually completing five marathons (with times of over four hours each). I bonded with other marathoners at the college, most particularly with David Nieman, now … Continue reading

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The Sabbath For Christians

I grew up a Seventh-Day Adventist. The “Adventist” part of the name means they believe in imminent arrival of Jesus Christ. The “Seventh-Day” part means they observe the Sabbath from Friday night to Saturday night. But what does “observe” mean? … Continue reading

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What Did I Want From My Parents?

I’m working through these exercises by Dr. Stephan Poulter in his books The Mother Factor and The Father Factor. Here are some of the questions: * What are five things that you would have liked to have done with your … Continue reading

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The Time Bomb Parent

When I was a kid, I had to look after my step-mom, who was a ticking time bomb. “Parentified children don’t have a typical childhood or adolescence — they don’t rebel or skip school or act rudely to a teacher. … Continue reading

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I Used To See The World Primarily In Moral Terms

In August of 1988, I started listening to Dennis Prager on the radio and quickly became fascinated. I’ve long sought out father figures and Prager was the ultimate daddy (next to God). I quickly bought into his view of the … Continue reading

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Romeo & Juliet

I remember spending a few days with the Thompsons (friends of the family from Avondale College) at Pacific Union College. I think it was the summer of 1982. I think it was a Sunday. Eye of the Tiger was playing … Continue reading

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What Happened To Her Relationship Status On FB?

I’ve wasted a lot of time in therapy talking about my hopes for various women simply based on the fact that they removed their relationship status from Facebook and I hoped that meant they were ready for me to swoop … Continue reading

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I identify with Anthony Weiner

I identify with his drive for attention and acclaim to ward off his underlying shame. I identify with seeking so desperately for affirmation from strangers that you’ve increased your own shame and humiliation. That’s how addiction works. I love the … Continue reading

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The 2 AM Questions

It’s so much easier to fool myself during daylight hours. It’s late at night when I’m tossing and turning that I see uncomfortable truths about myself, that I’m not entirely on the right track, that I’m selfish and self-centered, and … Continue reading

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God, Orthodox Judaism, And The Rabbis

John Updike wrote in his novel SEEK MY FACE: “Or perhaps, if she is Jewish, she is unable to put the question of God quite the way a Christian would put it, in urgent terms of either/or. For the chosen … Continue reading

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