Category Archives: Personal

If You Want To Be Taken Seriously, Then You Must…

I find the "If you want to be taken seriously, then you must do X, Y, Z" rhetoric obnoxious. I don’t know how many people have asked me, "Do you want to be taken seriously? Do you want your blog … Continue reading

Posted in AIPAC, Israel, J-Street, Personal, Shmuley Boteach | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on If You Want To Be Taken Seriously, Then You Must…

Repentance

I can’t remember the last time I made a meaningful apology to someone. I must be a great tzaddik who never does anyone harm. I hate empty ritual. I hate it when someone says, "If I have done anything bad … Continue reading

Posted in Orthodoxy, Personal | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on Repentance

I’m BAAAAACK!

JUDEN OF LOS ANGELES – I HAVE RETURNED!  A panel of indisputably authentic torah gadols has certified that I am one of you, which means that I am now perfectly free to move in your circles, pray in your temples, … Continue reading

Posted in Personal, Pico/Robertson | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off on I’m BAAAAACK!

Thanks For Lunch!

I email a friend: "Thank you for lunch! It was delicious, as was your conversation… You look amazing for a woman of your age." She responds: "Nice neg." I respond: "I didn’t know you knew about negs…" She resonds: "I’m … Continue reading

Posted in Personal | Tagged , | Comments Off on Thanks For Lunch!

Her Deepest Darkest Fantasy

I have a woman whose deepest darkest fantasy is to see me kiss another woman. What if she wants me to kiss more than one? The prospect of making out with a whole string of beautiful young women fills me … Continue reading

Posted in Personal | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off on Her Deepest Darkest Fantasy