Category Archives: Personal

Surprised At The Library

I was sitting at the library Thursday evening exchanging torrid emails with a young shiksa via my Blackberry. On my lap was the sacred text of the February issue of Commentary magazine. I sensed something ominous to my left and … Continue reading

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Tomorrow Is The First Day Of The Rest Of My Life

I’m gonna live out Thursday just as Guru Singh would want. I’m rising at 3am, I’m gonna have a hearty barf, then a cold shower and then I’m going to the ashram at 3:45 a.m for three hours of prayer … Continue reading

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I’m Gonna Do My Therapy Next Tuesday In Front Of 30 Interns!

Then six of them will gather with the clinician and discuss it. And I’ll get to watch! Hot! Please pray for me! Feb. 17 at 4pm! Today I got to have my two hours of therapy recorded and it will … Continue reading

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I Used To Be The Number One ‘Luke’ In The World

I used to Google the word "Luke" and I was the number one result. Now I’m number seven. I rank behind the Gospel of Luke, Luke Skywalker, Luke the Diagnostic Tool and Luke Air Force Base. How humiliating! These others … Continue reading

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Luke Needs Viagra For Sex With Hippo

I got this therapy meme (well, actually, someone else did, but I’m taking it) on Facebook: "Here’s how it works: Google “[your first name] needs” and share the first 10 results. That’s it: it is that simple. But be honest! … Continue reading

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I’m Thinking Of Oiling My Beard

Outside of therapy today, I sat in the sun next to a guy with a big ol’ gash on his left ear. It was all bloody. We got to talking as I tend to do around people with bloody ears. … Continue reading

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Join Luke Ford On His Cam For Live Israeli Election Results

Click here to join the fun. The Jewish Journal stream here.

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What Is It Like To Go On A Date With Luke Ford?

Khunrum emails: "Buddy….I’m wondering just what a Luke Ford "date" consists of. It appears to me that these sweet creatures would settle for nothing less than an pricey ($$$$$) evening out on the town. Why don’t you describe in 50 … Continue reading

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Would You Like To Know More About Me?

"I really enjoy the joy of being me and i am dedicated to sharing that joy with you." That was an assignment from yoga class tonight… Well, we were supposed to phone friends, I thought I’d just post it. It … Continue reading

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How Do You Deal With Friends Who Want To Demean You?

Like Dennis Prager, I’ve dedicated my life to uplifting the human condition. I pattern my behavior on tne highest ideals of Western Civilization in general and the Torah in particular. Despite this, I have people in my life who try … Continue reading

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