How are you?

I don’t understand why this is such a charged question. Most of the time when I check in with someone who’s been absent due to illness or for some reason I am not aware of, I get a defensive responsive such as “Why do you ask?”

So if asking how are you or how are you feeling is so charged, what’s a better alternative that’s less likely to elicit a defensive or aggressive response?

And what sort of person gets defensive about this sort of innocent inquiry? Or is there something weird about me that’s weirding people out here?

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