The Narcissist & The Internet

Sam Vaknin: To the narcissist, the internet is an alluring playground and hunting ground. It is a gathering place for numerous potential sources for narcissistic supply. It is beyond the strictures of civilized conduct. It’s true paradise.

Narcissists end up at the instantly gratifying epicenter of a cult of fans, stalkers, erotomaniacs and nuts. The quasi-celebrity feed the grandiose fantasies of the narcissist.

Narcissists are prone to internet addiction.

He is not keen on expanding his horizons, developing real relationships. He filters everything through his narrow lens of addiction to narcissistic supply. He values people depending on how useful they can be sources of narcissistic supply.

The narcissist will either try to monopolize a discussion or, if failing that, disrupt a discussion.

But the internet may be the closest the narcissist gets to psychodynamic therapy. By interacting with these unpredictable entities, the narcissist is compelled to project on to others his own experiences and hopes. He uses other people to look in the mirror and be reflective. Transference and counter-transference are common.

The therapeutic process is set in motion by the brutally honest reactions to the narcissist’s repertory. People give feedback to the narcissist when he parades his delusions. No matter how painful this feedback, it provokes the narcissist into thinking, it gives him insight. The narcissist is not accustomed to such resistance.

Some narcissists confine themselves to the company of adoring sycophants, but a long exposure to the culture of the net, which is irreverent, usually exerts a beneficial effect on the staunchest narcissist. Some narcissists mellow and begin to listen to others.

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Narcissists: Their Professions, Jobs, and Vocations

Sam Vaknin: Narcissists (about 1% of the population) are concentrated in certain professions, in teaching, clergy, show business, management, medicine, military, law enforcement, politics, sports…

Narcissists are addicted to a drug called narcissistic supply. They seek attention, adulation, affirmation, applause, obedience, notoriety, being feared. They need this input to regulate their sense of self-worth, to build their self-confidence.

Narcissists seek to interact with people from a position of advantage. The cerebral narcissist is likely to emphasize intellectual prowess and accomplishment, whether real or imaginary, to solicit supply from awestruck students, voters, patients…

Narcissists seek to create the pathological narcissistic space… They navigate towards certain professions to create spaces where they are divine figures and have a coterie of fans.

Narcissists are liars. They misrepresent their credentials, knowledge, talents, achievements. The narcissist doctor would rather let his patients die than expose his mistakes. The narcissistic therapist often traumatizes his clients with his acting out. Narcissistic businessmen ruin their firms, and often engage in scams.

The narcissist’s relationship with his sychophants is often abusive. He perceives others as objects, mere instruments of gratification. He treats them as dispensable and interchangeable instruments. Being an addict, he seeks an ever larger dose of narcissistic supply, gradually losing what is left of his moral constraints.

When the narcissist’s sources become wary, amused, bored, by his excessive dependence and antics, when they get frightened by his OCD behaviors, when his acolytes leave him, the narcissist resorts to emotional blackmail, distortion, criminal conduct, or he discards the people he cherished a short while before.

Narcissists don’t know how to collaborate and to accept their place. They’re not deterred by possible punishment. They have a sense of entitlement and superiority.

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The Narcissist & God

Sam Vaknin: God is everything the narcissist ever wants to be — omnipotent, omniscent, omnipresent, admired, much discussed, and awe inspiring. God is the narcissist’s wet dream, his ultimate fantasy.

The narcissist idealizes and devalues authority figures. What greater authority figure is there than God? In the idealization phase, the narcissist tries to imitate authority figures. They cannot go wrong. The narcissist regards these authority figures as bigger than life, bold, brilliant, perfect… As the narcissist’s unrealistic expectations are inevitably deflated by reality, he begins to devalue his former idols. They are dumb, mediocre… The narcissist goes through the same cycle with his relationship with God…

Even when devaluation, disillusionment, and iconoclastic despair sets in, the narcissist continues to pretend to love God and to follow him. The narcissist maintains this deception because his continued adherence to God, proximity to God, confers on the narcissist authority… Clergy, politicians, intellectuals, all derive authority from their allegedly privileged relationship with God. Religious authority allows the narcissist to indulge his sadistic urges and to exercise his misogyny. Such a narcissist is likely to torment his followers, abuse them… He is looking for obedient and unquestioning slaves upon whom to exercise his capricious and wicked urges. He transforms innocent religious rituals into a cult. He preys on the gullible. His flock become his hostages. Religious authority secures for him narcissistic supply. He craves attention, adulation, affirmation, applause. His co-religionists, his audience, are transformed into a source of narcissistic supply. They obey his commands given in the name of God. They admire him because he’s close to God.

The bigger the narcissist’s enemy, the more grandiosely important the narcissist feels.

The narcissist forms a relationship with this overpowering entity to overpower others. The narcissist becomes God vicariously through his relationship with Him. He idealizes God, devalues God, and then abuses God. This is the classic narcissistic pattern.

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Trolls Go After The Weak

We all put out a force field. We all attract people into our life, even internet trolls, even rapists, even murderers. There’s rarely a murder or a rape, I suspect, where the victim did not do something stupid to put herself at risk.

From News.com.au:

I pull out a specific example of one of his Tweets. It says: “Rape is always OK.”
“That is not an acceptable thing to say in public life,” I say to Mark.
“Yep, well that was because the discussion that was happening [online] was about defending rape victims and then someone actually said: ‘Rape is never OK’ so then I replied to that with ‘Rape is always OK,’ just to get a reaction,” he responds.
Me: “But why? If you are someone who has suffered sexual assault, that is such a wounding thing to say. It’s horrendous.”
Mark: “Because if you are a victim of sexual assault, you are open to it. You’ve already got a weakness to that kind of stuff.”
Me: “So you are targeting a person at their weakest point?”
Mark: “Yeah, pretty much.”
…Not always, but often it is women that are under attack.
“Well yeah it is because women are generally weaker,” Mark says, “they are more easily offended and easier to anger and stuff like that.”
Me: “You’re not choosing them because of misogyny, you’re choosing them because they are an easy target?”
Mark: “Yeah generally you can say something about their kids which is gonna set them off pretty quickly. Like you could post what school they go to and stuff like that. That’s gonna get them really angry.”
“I don’t actually have any problem with them being a woman. I’m doing it because at that moment it time, I’m going to get a better reaction out of them.”
…Mark doesn’t just hurt other people, he goes so far as to blame them for becoming a victim.
“You are not just going to go after a random person. You are going to go after a person you already know has a weakness. So people kind of, in some way, make themselves victims,” he says.

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Mormon Mommy Blogs

Jane the Jewess* says: I look at these Mormon mommy blogs all day at work. What does that mean? I had to leave work early yesterday because it was starting to make me feel ill because I was obsessing so much. These women have the most perfect looking lives I’ve ever seen. It makes me feel really insecure. I think I was freaking out about those Mormom women because a) I envy them b) my biological clock is ticking. It’s not rocket science. I would be amazed if anyone could look at that and not be envious.

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Is Every Woman Who Has Sex Outside Of A Relationship Nuts?

Female Friend: My friend A. is possibly the biggest pussy / wimp I have ever met in my life. He’d make a really fantastic dhimmi / Islamic convert. The dude couldn’t stand up for himself if his life depended on it. It makes me want to vomit. Every time I look at him. I think it probably is mostly because of social conditioning. His masculinity is so suppressed.

Luke: About four months ago, I saw Network Spinal Analysis practicioner and I swear it has helped me discover my spine. It helped a major change in my blogging.

Friend: He’s not gay though. Is that a pseudoscience?

Luke: Perhaps, it felt real to me.

Friend: Never heard of it

Luke: I find it amazing, I get it every week. I feel like it helped me find my spine and to stop being such a pussy. It’s not chiropractic.

Friend: haha were you ever really a pussy though?

Luke: Yep, sad. I’ve usually been a wimp w woman, as a sex and love addict, pathetic. Needy

Friend: I’m not sure I believe in this whole idea of “love addiction”. I think wanting / needing to love / be loved is a normal part of the human condition.

Luke: Saying/doing anything to get laid

Friend: I don’t try to get laid.

Luke: Duh. Most women don’t unless they’re nuts

Friend: I used to. A lot of women do! Young ones! It’s encouraged! We’re told this is what we need to do to be healthy – to have sex like men. I’m not making this up. Maybe you’re out of touch with young people.

Luke: Healthy women don’t do this as much

Friend: I think most of them do when they’re younger. They are told it’s what they need to do to be normal. I’m sure most will get over it / grow out of it. But most will experiment with it – even healthy women. Every young woman I know has. I don’t think they’re all unhealthy. Most of them are well adjusted. This is just the way things are now. Or so we’re told.

Luke: Most Orthodox women stay virgins till mariage.

Friend: That’s the way it should be. If everyone is fucking everyone than men have no reason to get married. And it’s women who lose out in the long run. I wish someone would have told me that. I thought it was a bunch of hocus pocus. In reality the reasons are very pragmatic. I told this to my mother the other day. She said “I know”. Why the hell didnt she tell me that? When you are 17 you don’t know these things – and if you have no one telling you to restrain yourself ever, not even a little bit – it’s just insane. I’m angry.

Luke: You wouldn’t have listened to your mother if she told you, no teen listens to her parents.

Friend: Yes – but at least she could have said “I told you so.” No but really – if any woman who had sex outside of a loving relationship is crazy – that means nearly every single young woman is crazy. I’m trying to think if I know one person who hasn’t done that. Even my goody two shoes friends from Middle School have done it. It’s a thing for women in their younger 20s. I think most grow out of it – except the crazy ones. I met one girl once who said she only has sex with guys she’s in a relationship with. She said she she’s the only person she’s ever met who does that. She can’t have orgasms and she’s a Republican.

Women have one womb. Men can spray their sperm everywhere and produce multiple children at once.

I rarely wanted commitment. I knew I would want it at some point but that didn’t mean I couldn’t have sex and enjoy it. Worked out fine for me!

Luke: Yeah, but with all respect, you are as nuts as me. You would not wish your mental health on anyone. Nor I on anyone. If all of society had our sex lives, civilization would collapse.

Friend: I don’t understand women who aren’t like me. I just don’t get it at all. They need to stop acting desperate and looking for a husband. I swear, the less a woman cares about finding a husband the more men are drawn to her–the more they want to “wife her”! I did both–a good amount of no-commitment sex and I still contribute to civilization.

I think I’m at like 30 lovers–which is more than some and less than others. It feels like a good number. But, again, I still got married and procreated and my marriage is more likely to last because I was able to explore and figure out what i wanted/needed sexually and otherwise.

Luke: Yeah, but you have a 150 IQ plus, for people with an average or lower IQ, that number of lovers would likely be catastrophic. Think about a black/Mexican/Muslim/white trash woman having 20 lovers. How many kids and diseases would she likely have?

Friend: Yeah, that’s an interesting thought. So higher intelligence correlates with an ability to have more lovers without sacrificing the biological need to procreate.

Luke: It correlates with less disease, unwanted pregnancy, crime, social delinquency. A lot of people kill over sex, jealousy. I’m unaware of any positive correlation in any study for number of sexual partners, for men or women. It does not lead to family stability and happiness even though there will be exceptions but exceptions don’t disprove generalities.

When women have sex like men, it is a horror for them and for civilization, which depends upon channeling male sexuality and building up the family.

Friend: Why is it different for women?

Luke: Because women have babies and they’re programmed to want commitment to go along with the sex. It’s bad for women, in general, to be promiscuous. With every lover, a woman fades, while a man blooms.

There is a grand canyon of difference between one lover and two.
Suddenly a world of possibilities opens up that can haunt one for life.

How many men would you like to fuck your daughter before she marries? Seriously. You’d be fine if she chose 20 as opposing to marrying early and staying faithful? Would you want your daughter to taste your variety of sexual experiences?

Friend: I don’t want her to marry before 30. I would hope she has some sexual partners. Yes, I think I do want her taste my variety of sexual experiences–it’s given me confidence in a weird way. And it’s made me understand so much about people and how they work.

If everyone abided by this–if everyone was a virgin, men and women, when married, it would work. But it doesn’t work anymore. It’s lunacy to expect it.

Alex Trivunovic: Bear in mind that contraception is new. Evolution has taught women to worry about pregnancy at every encounter. That is why they are pickier than men. The consequences for them are serious and long-term. It’s unfair, but it’s the woman who bears the physical an emotional toll of pregnancy and childbirth. A man can be affected by having children, but never to the same extent in my opinion. That’s why i mentioned women being pickier, they don’t want to risk a cad knocking them up and then leaving.

Chaim Amalek: It all comes down to this: sperm is cheap, eggs are expensive. From this fact of life all else follows.

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The Young Nazi

One of the wonderful things about the internet is that you get to talk to people you would not run into in your regular life.

A young Nazi tells me about a recent meeting: “It was more or less fun, it seems like a good organization. The only thing I didn’t like was when they were saying the Holocaust didn’t happen, which seems stupid to me. I would rather people say that the Jews had it coming.”

Luke: What is called “Holocaust denial” is often denial that the killing of Jews in WWII was the most significant event in human history, the worst thing ever, the prism through which life must be viewed, that Jews were 100% innocent rather than comprising a group that had interests that clashed with the interests of other groups, and the reason why we must not do all sorts of things such as discuss racial differences and the advantages of a homogeneous nation. Because Holocaust…

“Holocaust denial” is often “Holocaust revisionism” aka challenging the accepted narrative. It has different messages for different IQ levels. For smart Nazis, such as William Pierce, they know the Holocaust happened and they’ll do it again if they need to, for the dummies, they tell them the Holocaust didn’t happen.

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WP: American atheist blogger hacked to death in the street in Bangladesh

WP: An American atheist blogger who vocally opposed religious extremism has been hacked to death in a street in Bangladesh.

Avijit Roy was a Bangladesh-born U.S. citizen who proved a prominent critic of ideological hatred in his native country. He and his wife, Rafida Ahmed, were attacked as they returned from a book fair at Dhaka University in Dhaka, Bangladesh’s capital, as the Associated Press reported. Some outlets reported that the weapons used were machetes; others reported cleavers. Roy died at a hospital after the attack. His wife was seriously injured, losing a finger, but survived.

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After giving trillions of dollars of aid to Africans, we can conclude what?

Chris: “That it’s akin to throwing money down the toilet?”

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Getting Around The Rules

Steven: Mormon murder victim Travis Alexander thought you could get around the rules if you have sex with non-vaginal orifices. I think it’s amusing that any religious person could imagine that mouth sex and butt sex are genuine loopholes around religious sexual abstinence rules.

ABC NEWS:

The murder trial of Jodi Arias has been filled with salacious details of phone sex, graphic text messages, and an erotic sexual relationship between her and her devout Mormon ex-boyfriend, Travis Alexander.

Arias, 32, converted to Mormonism when she began to date Alexander, then 29, in 2006. Though they were both outwardly devout, they immediately developed a sexual relationship.

The trial has cast a spotlight on the tight-knit Mormon community in Mesa, Ariz., and its strict social mores, including a ban on premarital sex. According to Patrick Mason, a professor of religion who specializes in Mormon studies at Claremont Graduate University in California, the trial shows the difficulty Mormons face in coping wiith the church’s demand for chastity.

“The LDS church puts a really high priority on complete chastity,” Mason said. “They define that as no sexual relations of any kind outside of marriage between a man and a woman, no premarital sex and no extramarital sex either, and there’s actually a lot of time and attention paid to this.”

Arias is on trial for murdering Alexander, whom she dated for a year and then continued to have sex with for a year after that. Prosecutors allege she killed him in a fit of jealousy in June 2008, after taking graphic sexual photos with him and having sex earlier in the day.

Arias claims she shot and stabbed Alexander in self defense, and her attorneys have focused on Alexander’s secret sex life as proof that he was a “sexual deviant” who was abusive and controlling toward Arias.They claim Alexander, who was considered a church elder, kept Arias his “dirty little secret” because sex outside of marriage was against church rules.

In my experience, Mormons live up to their religion more than any other religious group I know.

Alex Trivunovic: “I don’t think they genuinely think that. They just want to rationalise bad behaviour. Like evangelical women who spend their 20’s fucking everything that moves, then calling themselves ‘spiritual virgins’ once they want to settle down. Though, who knows, there are a lot of dumb people. Maybe some of them really believe it.”

Steven Ben-Off Abrams: “Well, certainly Travis Alexander did not deserve to die horribly for being a douchebag, but it seems that his bizarre rationalizations to reconcile extramarital sex and Mormon faith contributed to his crazy mistress Jodi Arias’ murderous freakout. Not to say he is in any way responsible for his own death, but he was imposing an unjustified mindfuck on the girl.”

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