I walked around work singing this song yesterday.
Daniel: Is that the lullaby your mum sang to you before you went to sleep?
I walked around work singing this song yesterday.
Daniel: Is that the lullaby your mum sang to you before you went to sleep?
At a shiur about the nature of God the other day, a Jewish friend asked me if Christians get this philosophical.
“They’re far more philosophical than Jews,” I said. “Christianity is primarily about theology. Christianity is far more Hellenic than Hebraic. The Greeks invented philosophy. At church, you’ll find Christians talking far more than Jews do at shul about philosophical issues such as reconciling evil with an all powerful all beneficent deity. Christian clergy rarely worry about getting their congregants jobs, apartments or medical care. They worry about getting them salvation.”
I’m experiencing these moments of sheer terror throughout the day. I’ve noticed this fear coming on the past few years.
Today I had to tell somebody over the phone that I couldn’t help him. As I struggled to get this out, repeating myself, I felt like I was stepping off a ledge and falling through space.
This happens to me a few times a day, usually when I have to ask for something or when I have to say no to somebody. I need to chronicle more exactly these moments of sheer terror.
I think I started noticing this problem in 2006 when I went on wellbutrin (for about a year). When I walked down the street, I’d have these moments of sheer terror that a car accident would happen right in front of me. I’d see drivers pulling out and paying insufficient attention, in my view, to the traffic around them. None of these accidents ever occurred but I felt my heart drop to the pit of my stomach each time. Walking down a street bordering traffic became stressful.
Now I have to pick up the phone at work and ask for stuff and I just feel like dying. I’d 100 times rather email or fax the request.
Every year that goes by, I become increasingly withdrawn and more scared to initiate social contact.
My boss notices that every time he asks me to call somebody, I fax or email whenever I possibly can instead of getting them on the phone.
And when it comes to my personal phone, I’m afraid to pick it up unless I recognize the number and want to talk to the person. I’d much rather avoid the contact.
It’s been more than a year since I’ve asked a girl out.
I fear I have emotional anorexia.
I feel like a battered child much of the day. I just want to collapse and to throw my hands up to protect myself. Stop the blows! I go into new human contact in an emotional crouch, warding off the blows I suspect are about to fall. I don’t want to run into people who don’t like me. I fear approaching people.
It did not use to be this bad, but I’ve always had these frightened defensive tendencies.
I think the past 15 years of working from home and isolating set me up for this.
JewishCommunityWatch.com reports:
A couple of months later, we were informed that Mendel Tevel was planning to get engaged. Immediately, the kallah’s family was contacted and cautioned with the vast information we had already accumulated. We proceeded to put the family in touch with a rabbi who had heard directly from two of the victims, the bitter accounts of what they had experienced. Sadly, the family had already been swept under the manipulative wing of Mendel Tevel. They refused to acknowledge the horrendous acts Mendel was alleged to have committed. Understanding the danger that his innocent kallah faced, we continued to go back and forth, spending days and nights working with their family and many associates of theirs aiming to convey the magnitude of the situation. We came to realize that it was a lost cause in trying to prove anything to them.
As time progressed, the naivety of the family of the kallah truly became evident. In fact, when JCW informed the family of a specific case, shockingly, a member of the family said (Referring to the victim) “Did the boy enjoy it?” Over the next few weeks the kallah’s family attempted to contact numerous victims and attack their credibility. Finally the two families foolishly decided to go ahead with the engagement.
A short while after Mendel Tevel’s engagement, we had collected enough information to expose him; thus his name and face were published on jewishcommunitywatch.com. At this point, the Tevel family began to circulate excuses as to why his name went up. Most of them claiming that it was a vendetta against Mendel based on a trivial matter from years past. Astonishingly, many people actually accepted this to be a valid reason.
Phone calls and emails came storming in from all over the country demanding more information. Some people offered to help validate the allegations as long as we put them in touch with victims of Mendel Tevel. Obviously, this was simply unacceptable as the anonymity of victims remains our most important duty. Certain individuals even offered to fund an extensive and expensive investigation in order to clear Mendel Tevel’s name. It was explained to them that an investigation of that nature must take place under mutually agreed upon therapist’s/expert’s supervision, in order to ensure that a proper investigation had been done. If and only if these certain requirements were met and Mendel was deemed not to be a predator (disregarding allegations by numerous victims of abuse spanning over ten years), we would take Mendel Tevel’s name off the site and issue a public apology. Instead, they decided to do things their way. rabbis and therapists of their choosing were contacted and, supposedly, issued private letters and documents proclaiming the innocence of Mendel. It has been said that one therapist even issued a “clean bill of health” asserting Mendel Tevel’s innocence and guaranteeing that he would not harm anyone in the future. We have since been informed by professionals that it would be simply be incredibly irresponsible for any psychiatrist to issue such a letter as it is impossible to ascertain whether or not someone will molest children in the future.
Wishing to work with the family to resolve this, we asked to be put in contact with the “supposed” therapists that he had seen. Not only did they not comply, they also would not issue the names of the therapists that he had “supposedly” seen. One of the rabbis that are involved in all of this is even alleged to have covered up a major sexual abuse case in the past. Based on the fact that Mendel’s “clean bill of health” was never shown to us, his name continues to remains on the site.
Hockey must appeal to a more upstanding crowd than baseball, basketball and football.
I keep getting out of bed to blog and to update my Facebook. Can’t sleep.
I want to organize a rally at Dodger Stadium against the internet. Please share this on your FB. Sponsorship opportunities are still available! This will be bigger than my series of videos eroticizing endogamy.
I’ve spent a lot of time in Chabad shuls and I never remember any pressure to become Chabad. The Chabadniks I know want Jews to study Torah and to do mitzvahs but I’m not aware of them exerting much effort to get men to wear streimels and to strap on two pairs of tefillin every morning and take on the other distinctive customs of Chabad.
With many of the Chabad shuls I know, most of the people who go there aren’t Chabad.
When I moved to Los Angeles in 1994, I met an Orthodox Jew who was a nudist. He loved to be naked in the sun (no, I never saw him in this happy state). He lived in Fairfax/La Brea, an Orthodox community known for its tolerance of alternative lifestyles.
Because he was religious, he tried not to get naked around other people, particularly women and children, but invariably there were complications and he’d be seen outside in his natural state and his rabbis would reprove him (to little avail).
I wonder what happened to my friend? Did he marry? Does the hobby of nudism hobble one’s chances of getting a shidduch? Is it worse than blogging about porn stars?
I don’t even remember his name. Does anyone else remember him? He had distinguishing characteristics such as love of Torah and a sense of humor. I think he also liked to get drunk.
I believe he was a baal teshuva.
When I came to Los Angeles in 1994, Aish HaTorah was a friendly outreach institution experimenting with different programming to bring in secular Jews. Since 1998, the shul has become less welcoming and more restrictive (though it is still more friendly than most and I recommend checking it out).
Now Pico-Robertson has an amazing outreaching shul in the LINK Kollel on Robertson Blvd, just south of Pico Blvd.
Over the past year, LINK has become the most talked about shul in the hood. How are the folks at Aish reacting? Are they having meetings?
It used to be that if you wanted to check out Orthodox Judaism in 90035, Aish was the only shul interested in helping you out. Now the hood is filled with Chabad shuls and I suspect that far more Jews are entering Orthodoxy through its portals.
A source says: “I think Adas Torah moving into the Victory furniture building on Pico Blvd is a much bigger deal for Beth jacob and yicc. It is going to be a huge shul with a strong, young, yeshivish following and a dynamic rabbi. I think link is really limited to the Baal Teshuva crowd.”
“It is friendly but it is not a beginner’s place. It is open but intended for people who are already frum, yeshivish, knowledgeable, adroit, not for the Aish crowd who are passionate but don’t know much.”