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A Legendary Jewish U.S. Senator Dies at 89
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Dennis Prager’s Dating Life
Dennis said on his radio show Nov. 30, 2010: “I remember in high school thinking that the boys who were unbelievably confident in their dealings with girls were not the finest of the guys. I was very nervous about asking a girl out for a date, so much so that I would sit by the phone with prepared notes so that I wouldn’t grope for words and I would have a handkerchief to wipe the sweat because I was so nervous.”
On Jun. 8, 2013, Dennis said: “That’s why I was sweating while making the call. The parent would pick up the phone and I’d go, ‘Can I speak to Michelle?’ And they’d always say, ‘Who is this?’ I always felt like a rapist calling in. ‘Who is this? What are your intentions,you no-good male animal?’ I never got that, but that’s what I imagined was going through his head.”
“I have too much pride. That’s why I’ve never been able to push myself aggressively professionaly as others have, and I’ve been wrong. I have too much pride and dignity. If the girl said, I’m busy Saturday night, I would not have offered another time. She would’ve had to have said, ‘So let’s do it next Saturday night.’ I would not be the injector of the next possible date. I would not say, ‘When are you free?'”
“I had a blessed track record.”
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Gaining Comfort With Myself, With Others And With God
I’ve long had a hard time looking people (aside from friends and the few I felt comfortable with) in the face. I guess it reflects a fundamental lack of ease I have had with myself, with God and with others. Working a 12 step program helps. It’s no longer primarily about me, but about all of us in recovery. High-achievers don’t ask for respect, they simply drop anyone who doesn’t accord it to them. I’m no longer fighting with anyone or anything. I got some good recovery tonight. I have no time for anyone lost in addiction and unwilling to work to get well. A lot of people are toxic and I keep them far away from me, but if you’re willing to work a complete and fearless moral inventory (Google the great fourth step guides online), you’re my brother.
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A Bit Full Of Herself?
Katy Bowman writes: “Initially starting her college career as a mathematician turned physicist, she grew bored with theoretical problems of point masses and strings. Combining her love for anatomy and physiology with her strong engineering background, Katy completed her undergraduate degree…” How can you be a mathematician or physicist before you’ve started college? How can you have a strong engineering background before you’ve finished an engineering degree? The way people write about themselves usually reveals delusion.
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How She Recovered From CFS
Gina Scott writes: How my health improved is a very long story over 13 years involving an expert physician and a lot of different treatments that addressed the multi-system breakdown that is typical of CFS.
CFS recovery periods (if a patient recovers at all) are typically painfully slow. It takes time to address all the different system breakdowns and figure out what to tackle first.
I’ve always said that it takes time, money and discipline to get better from a severe case of one of these immune deficiency conditions.
Time…because it can take months or years to see as little as 10% improvement in your health. Since there is no one proven treatment for CFS, you must experiment with different modalities to see what works for you. CFS patients’ bodies are also extremely sensitive to medications and treatments (and really, just about anything) so you usually have to gradually introduce any new form of treatment.
Money…because often times, treatment are not covered by insurance as they come in the form of supplements, IVs, acupuncture and other forms of medicine considered natural or alternative that is more gentle with the body and rebuilds core elements that are depleted. Pharmaceuticals and surgeries do not do this…although some pharmaceuticals are still helpful, there is no magic pill. Often times, doctors who specialize in CFS also do not accept insurance because their modalities are outside the scope of western medicine. Experts in the field typically also come at a steep price…just as you would expect to pay for the expert advice of anyone for any field.
Discipline…because getting well from CFS is like a job. I have equated it to training like an athlete. The diets. The routines. The endless tracking what works and what doesn’t. It’s incessant. It is not for the faint of heart. And the condition will force patience on you unlike almost anything else.
Many sufferers with severe cases of CFS do not function at the level I do. While I’ve never returned to where I was before getting sick, I can be very active. ALL BECAUSE I’VE HAD ADEQUATE, AND SOMETIMES COSTLY, TREATMENT. It is not uncommon for those with severe cases of CFS to never return to work, or any really normal sense of living.
Fortunately for me, that hasn’t been the case…and I have paid dearly for it, literally and figuratively. I must continue to receive treatments or, for now, I will slide back into poor health.
For most patienst, CFS is not so much cured as it is managed.
This is how I improved…
Addressing severe adrenal gland deficiencies and gut issues
Early on, my expert CFS doctor knew I had adrenal gland deficiency issues. This is common with CFS. He also suspected an imbalance of good vs. bad bacteria in my gut due to all of the nausea I was having. We set off immediately addressing these issues, and still do today.
My health slowly improved with an emphasis on adrenal and gut issues. But not enough.
Helping detoxification
Over time, I cleared another major hurdle with SAMe, which helps the body detoxify…another issue common to CFS patients.
Killing opportunistic bacteria
Then, addressing opportunistic infections in my gut and blood (AIDS patients are also known to get these) with balanced, lower-dose and longer regimes of antibiotics helped greatly. Also key was using a special DNA test from Metametrix and a cutting edge blood test from Fry Laboratories to specifically identify these bugs.
Blood thinners and other medications
Also key in my recovery was the use of low-dose Cortisol, Florinef and sublingual Heparin. Some CFS sufferers are found to have blood that is too thick (hypercoagulation), the use of Heparin under the tongue aids this. It helped me a lot.
In addition, I find I respond very well to homeopathy. Each CFS patient must experiment and find what works best for him or her. Another reason why this illness is so draining in every conceivable way.
Adrenal PC Shots
Finally, the Adrenal PC shots I use that are made in Germany have been life-changing.
I have used many, many treatments and supplements over the years. Aside from other healthy habits like eating well, doing yoga and taking long walks, these are the highlights of what has made the most significant differences.
My Current Regime
Because CFS typically involves a multi-system breakdown, many CFS patients need to support several systems of the body simultaneously in order to feel better.
My current regime may seem like overkill, but not unusual from most CFS patients who are actively treating their conditions. And also notice, multiple systems are supported by only a few things each, aside from the adrenal glands, which are commonly a major source of dysfunction in a CFS patient. So, while it seems like a lot, each system is supported by only one or two things.
While this multi-system support is critical for many, this doesn’t mean that a patient has to be on all of these treatments forever. In fact, with a reduction of stress created by the illness and resulting financial strains itself, it is possible to greatly reduce the number of necessary supplements. In other words, this condition doesn’t have to haunt you in a severe way for life.
What you see below is not arrived at automatically and has been finely-tuned and altered over the entire 13 years of my illness. Nothing below (with the exception of DHEA, Transfer Factor and three of the General Support supplements) was on my original treatment plan 13 years ago.
But, for now the medical regime that makes me functional (developed by Dr. Guyer, with my input where relevant) includes the following:
Adrenal Support: (many CFS patients have poor functioning adrenal glands)
Hydrocortisone (Prescription: $14/mth)
Florinef (Prescription: $35/mth) *
Isocort (Supplement: $29/mth)
SubAdrene (Supplement: $30/mth)
MaxAdrene (Supplement: $9/mth)
Tyrosine (Supplement: $13/mth)
Ginseng (Supplement: $18/mth) *
Taurine (Supplement: $15/mth)
Adrenal PC shots from Germany plus /B12/ACE ($100/shot x 6 per mth) *
Blood thinners: (many CFS patients’ blood is often too thick, causing hypercoagulation and harboring of bacteria)
NattoK (Supplement: $82/mth)
Heparin-used sublingually (Prescription: $25/mth) *
Detoxification: (many CFS patients have trouble eliminating toxins throughout the body like normal people)
SAMe (Supplement: $45/mth) *
Phosphatidylserine (Supplement: $20/mth)
Tri-Salts (Supplement: $18/mth)
Thyroid: (many CFS patients have some form of hypothyroidism, albeit subclinical)
1/4 gr Thyroid (Compound Prescription: $9/mth)
T3 (Compound Prescription: $13/mth)
T4 (Compound Prescription: $13/mth)
Hormones: (all of which leads to an imbalance in hormones)
Progesterone Cream (Compound Prescription: $12/mth)
Testosterone Cream (Compound Prescription: $4/mth)
DHEA (Supplement: $4/mth)
Electrolyte Balance: (poor functioning adrenals affect the balance of electrolytes in your body)
KMG (Magnesium/Potassium) (Supplement: $28/mth)
Sleep: (many CFS patients struggle with getting to sleep, and staying asleep, also a function of the adrenals)
GABA (Supplement: $14/mth)
Tryptophan (Supplement: $5/mth)
Digestion: (like sleep, many CFS patients deal with digestion issues…some people will go so far as to say that health begins in the gut)
Probiotic (Supplement: $24/mth)
Immune System Support: (at its core, CFS is known to be a dysfunction of the immune system)
Transfer Factor (Supplement: $23/mth)
Anti-viral: (a poor functioning immune system leads to viruses the body doesn’t kill on its own)
LDN (Compound Prescription: $10/mth)
General Support:
Vitamin C (Supplement: $19/mth)
Multi vitamin (Supplement: $10/mth)
Magnesium (Supplement: $5/mth)
B6 (Supplement: $4/mth)
EPA (Supplement: $9/mth)
* Indicates a treatment that made a significant and noticeable improvement in symptoms
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Is It Ok To Touch Women For Healing Purposes?
Historian Marc B. Shapiro writes: There is currently a situation in London where a leading rabbi is charged with inappropriate contact with women. This rabbi denies the charges. However, he has admitted, so I am informed, that he did touch women in non-sexual ways, but this was done as part of his “therapy” which he claims was halakhically permitted. Now obviously we can’t have a situation where a male therapist, or “therapist”, is arm wrestling or massaging his female patients. In fact, after everything we have seen these last few years, I think we can all agree that there can’t be any touching…
R. Ovadiah gives permission for a kabbalist to touch a woman as part of his kabbalistic healing. R. Ovadiah requires that he wear gloves when touching her, but this is still surprising, as once such a heter is given it is not too difficult to see where this can lead..
I didn’t know what to make of the words צריכה להתפשט. Does this mean that a woman can remove all her clothes if that’s what the kabbalist needs in order to complete the healing process? (According to news reports, the Breslov figure currently in the news for sexual impropriety operated in this way). I was certain it couldn’t mean this, but then what does it mean?
…In the recently published Mesorat Moshe, p. 612, it records that R. Moshe Feinstein responded as follows, after being told of a dentist who sexually assaulted female patients while they were sedated: אמר רבינו שממש פלא, דהלא זה כנגד החזקה שאומן לא “מרע אומנותו”. I don’t understand R. Moshe’s surprise, as he could say the same thing about teachers or anyone else who engages in this sort of behavior. Since we are dealing with people who are sick, there is no rational calculation for which you can apply the concept of מרע אומנותו. We have already seen numerous people who have destroyed their lives and their families by engaging in the sort of behavior, and taking the sort of risks, that simple self-interest would be enough to deter normal people from.
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Confronting Yourself
I think about myself about 90% of the time. Is this percentage normal for a single person? The happier I am, the less I think about myself, and the unhappier I am, the more I think about myself. I suspect that when I’m married with kids, this percentage will drop to something like 60%. When I have passions and causes, I think about myself less. I notice that most people think that if you go to therapy, you’ll think about yourself more. I don’t see this. What do most people think about when they’re driving or walking or not required to give their complete attention to the task at hand? Aren’t they usually thinking about themselves? With therapy, at least, you’re confronting yourself and getting some insight into how you cause your own misery. With 12 Step meetings, you’re again confronting yourself and becoming more aware of how you are the cause of your own misery and the way out is through service to others. Most people seem to consider 12-step work and psycho-therapy and analysis as symptoms of self-absorption when to me they are symptoms of somebody wanting to confront himself.
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My Neediness Is As Big As The Grand Canyon
Just before my 40th birthday, my ex-girlfriend Holly, who was throwing me a party, said to me on the phone about her shopping for my gift, “What do you get the guy who has nothing?”
She had looked into the abyss of my neediness and knew it wasn’t a pretty site. She’d felt my fear of abandonment. She had tired of propping me up.
My second girlfriend (1993), Diana, would take a bus up from San Jose to see me on weekends and she said she always left my place exhausted because I was just so needy. She eventually gave me the book, “The Givers and the Takers.”
I love FamilyTreeCounseling.com. Here are some highlights from their podcast on neediness:
There is a healthy level of neediness or we wouldn’t be in relationships. If we didn’t have the need to be needed, the race would die out, but there can be too much neediness. I had a client who said that him meeting his wife’s neediness was like trying to fill the Grand Canyon with a garden hose. It feels like a never-ending pit that our spouse cannot fill.
We want our spouse to fill our void but they can’t. Only we can fill our void. It’s not our spouse’s responsibility to fill our void. Religion won’t heal our emotional wounds. It can only cover them up and distract us.
Neediness means too high expectations of people.
Ask yourself, why am I so needy that I can’t find a life outside of this relationship?
The needier you are, the more you are likely to have self-worth issues and fear of abandonment.
If you feel like people are avoiding you, your partner is avoiding you, you likely have unhealthy neediness. Because you’re neediness is likely too much for your partner and they need space.
The needy person ends up pushing their spouse away when they’re trying to bring him closer.
It’s a healthy thing to be able to see yourself outside of your relationship. If you can’t say that you would be OK without this, then you’ll do anything to stay in it and you are really needy because you depend on the relationship.
Think about your friendships. If you don’t have close friendships, if people tend to not call you back or if you seek people out rather than it being 50/50, chances are you have some unhealthy neediness you need to address.
If you have a needy partner, what are you getting out of it? Are you getting your own self-needs met by being needed too much? Why did you marry such a needy person? It’s not random. You chose this. Do you need this approval? Do you have so much shame that you are constantly needing to be needed? Do you need to be up on a pedestal? You should feel like you’re on the same plane as your spouse.
The needy person is the minus in the relationship and the caretaker is the plus and that imbalance is going to destroy. If your needy spouse is reactive and angry, what’s the root cause? Neediness/abandonment. It’s a dance that people do, they need the drama and reactivity. Negative attention is better than no attention for some needy people.
If your partner is excessively needy, the problem isn’t all with her. You sought this out to feel better about yourself.
DR. CRAIG MALKIN WRITES: At the heart of attachment theory is the assumption that we all — all of us — have a basic, primal drive to connect. It’s wired into us, after millions of years of evolution, because on our own, we humans are weak, relatively defenseless creatures. That’s why emotional isolation registers in one of the most primitive areas of our brain — the amygdala — as a life-and-death situation (scientists call this the “primal panic”). The anxiously attached lack any faith that emotional closeness will endure because they were often abandoned or neglected as children, and now, as adults, they frantically attempt to silence the “primal panic” in their brain by doing anything it takes to keep connection. In short, they become needy. (The avoidantly attached shut their dependency needs and feelings off altogether to escape the pain of having their longings ignored or rejected.)
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The Howard Years
Just finished watching this four hour ABC Australia documentary on former Australian prime minister John Howard (who once called cricketer Sir Donald Bradman the greatest living Australian). It was a great way to catch up on my Aussie history.
The predominant feeling I took away was one of sadness. He seemed to have made a bad choice following President Bush into Iraq and Afghanistan. He hung on too long as a leader and was badly defeated in the 2007 election. it’s hard for me to get enthusiastic about a GST (General Services Tax) or banning automatic guns. White nationalist Pauline Hanson fascinates me and John Howard’s dance with her.
I’m reading a book now called Bradman’s War by Malcolm Knox (born in 1966 like me), who thanks me in the intro to his 2007 book Adult Book.
This new book is about Bradman’s 1948 tour of Britain, when Aussie never lost.
I like watching ABC’s Four Corners documentaries on youtube.
When Australian batsman Lindsay Hassett in WWII saw a sheikh arrive with his 199 wives, he said, “One more and he’d be entitled to a new ball.” In cricket, you get a new ball after a certain number of overs.
According to this new book, Sir Donald Bradman was so nasty on the cricket field and conducted it like war because he was a psychosomatic invalid during WWII, skipping the real war while the blokes who fought real war didn’t feel like playing cricket like war.
