What I Want To Give To My Wife

I’ve been listening to Orthodox psychologist Lisa Aiken and she encourages singles to think about the qualities they’d bring to a marriage.

So here’s what I’d give to my wife:

* My fidelity
* My reliability
* My friends and family
* My laughter
* Sense of adventure
* Good listening skills
* My brilliance
* My commitment to Judaism, to God, Torah and Israel
* My healthy living
* My sensual cuddly side
* My Alexander Technique skills
* My love of reading and writing
* My commitment to personal growth
* My success
* I’m not boring
* I am clean and tidy (for a heterosexual, non-metrosexual guy)
* I am open to sharing her enthusiasms
* I am willing to acknowledge her expertise and will bow to her in areas she knows more and better

What I want in a wife: Someone who:

* Gives me her body to feast upon
* Loves sex
* Is present
* Sends chills up my spine when she says my name because I am never sure what incredible thing she will say next
* Leaves me yearning to spend more time with her, get to know her better
* Who connects me to good people and to community
* makes me feel like I am living life in HD
* Opens up my world
* Inspires me to be more
* Rarely says anything needlessly cruel
* Can open up about her emotions and mine
* Is good at reading me and cluing in to what I am feeling
* Makes me the most important thing in her life
* Turns to me first
* Wants to connect with me
* Is proud to be with me and yet simultaneously pushes me to be more
* Is reliable and responsible and clean and tidy
* Can cook and entertain
* Is not boring
* Is open to sharing my enthusiasms
* Who allows me to build credibility with her

I don’t want in a wife someone who:

* Is irreligious
* Left-wing
* Still involved with her exes
* Unfaithful
* Drinks and drives
* Uses drugs
* Is so involved with animals that it gets in the way of us
* comes from a broken home and perpetuates those bad ways of relating
* presents a distorted view of me to others and to herself
* ignores me for great stretches of time and won’t let me into her head
* feels driven to cut off my balls
* is not interested in my work, says ignorant disrespectful things about it

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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