Suppose this girl you’re dating wants to go have drinks with a friend. What should you do? Say it is him or me, baby?
No. That makes you look like a shmuck.
You have to let her go.
The key is to be truly NOT scared of losing her. Personally I think honestly, trust & respect are 3 musts in any kind of relationship and I will always give these. However if they are broken, they are gone forever and so am I. It is important to be always able to walk away. Now this takes time to develop and I have only achieved it recently. It is hard if you have strong feelings for a beautiful girl but the great thing about life is ‘You always get another chance’ and the world is a fun and exciting place full of amazing people. I always say to students ‘This so called perfect girl might not be right for you and a year down the line you’ll find yourself with someone more beautiful, amazing and genuinely more suited to you and more fun.’
Letting go is the only option. I see some guys pretending to let go because they know logically it is the right thing to do and looks cool….. that is actually part of their game plan. However to truly let go is to find the peace inside to truly say, for example, ‘Go and out and party with your friends’ and not be watching the other guys out of the corner of your eye. Then if she comes back, and choices not to devalue your relationship and break your trust by getting with another man it, it will have been her choice and you know you can really trust her.
All you can do is present her with choices.
Instead remember that women’s emotions are momentary. In a relationship, men can look at the entirety of the history together and put anything she does wrong in the context of the whole relationship. This gives her a lot more leeway. Women can love you one minute and hate you the next. You can do nothing wrong for 6 months and then have one bad few hours and in that moment she’s forgotten about all the good things and thinks you are a prick.
Pace your follow-up game, don’t expect to catch her in the same emotion as she was in when you were together. Back off a little in texts and phone calls – end calls first, be short, no multiple question marks. Remember that what she says is momentary and take it with a pinch of salt in the first few days and weeks. Treat her wonderfully when you are together but don’t verbalise too much emotionally and keep it short on text and phone when you are not together. Don’t make her a priority in your life too quickly. Try and be realistic and pace your emotional attachment to her.
