I’m Changing My Life

I’m not happy with where I am with my life.

My economic model, for one thing, is broken.

Therefore, I am changing. I am pushing myself to do things that are not comfortable to me. For one thing, I’m doing yoga every day. I’m doing two meditative yoga practices a day and dragging myself to my yoga center to bliss out and make new friends.

Already, I’m getting stronger and more flexible. I have more good people in my life. I’ve had some hot dates with Jewish women. And I’ve dropped a bad habit.

I have a great therapist. I look forward to seeing her two sessions a week.

I’m not serene. I ricochet from elation to despair. When I do something well, or I get an extra burst of attention, I truly deeply feel better than most people. This makes me feel ashamed. I know it is not rational nor is it helpful to me. But when I triumph with something, even if it is just that I feel happier than those around me, I can’t help but leap inside that I’m better than those around me.

Then I have a social failure and I feel like I am worse than everyone around me.

This is a major flaw I want to change. I want to be serene. I don’t want my sense of self-worth constantly bopping up and down on the basis of social successes and failures. I want to feel good from doing good. I want to change.

Satnam.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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