I Am Happy

At my yoga studio last night, this old hippie said to the director about me, "He looks happier than you do!"

Today, my left sideview mirror fell off. I picked it up and screwed the bolts back in. I can’t believe I did it myself!

I am so handy!

This afternoon, I checked the oil and water (in the radiator) levels. Both were perfect.

I am truly a man who can protect and provide for a wife. Oh, what lucky woman she will be!

Anyone want an oil and lube?

I have a John Updike story. A friend of mine dated a daughter of Rabbi Jacob Neusner. Many times when he stopped by R. Neusner’s house to pick up his daughter, Updike was there. Updike wanted to know if he had gotten into her pants yet.

Khunrum emails: "I believe Brother Amalek is spot on here. As Luke ages and the beard grows longer, he could easily morph into Aqualung."

Sitting on the park bench —
eyeing little girls with bad intent.
Snot is running down his nose —
greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes.

Fred emails: No, the guy on the album cover has much better taste and standards. If the song were about Luke, it would go something like this.

Sitting on a shul bench,
eyeing aging spinsters with bad intent.
snot running down his nose,
saying socially awkward things while wearing awful clothes.


About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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