I’m Live On My Cam

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ernieMadoff:  You can’t choose not to be alone, not at this point, but you can choose not to be a Jew
BernieMadoff:  Now, I have a question about breasts
BernieMadoff:  I saw a photo of Shoshanna Lowenstein in today’s NY Post
BernieMadoff:  When she hit the scene as the 16 year old sex partner of Jerry Seinfeld, she looked like she had F cup breasts
BernieMadoff:  Now, at 30, one kid later, she looks pretty flat.
BernieMadoff:  How does that happen?
BernieMadoff:  Does pregnancy ruin a woman’s boobs?
palestine4ever:  you’ve been neglecting  your camwhore minions lately, Luke 🙁
BernieMadoff:  It is sad.  Shoshana was special
BernieMadoff:  Now, she looks like just another upper east side yenta
palestine4ever:  Shoshana Seinfeld?
palestine4ever:  I just assume most Jews as a topic of conversation are in some way related to Seinfeld.
BernieMadoff:  yes, pic in today’s ny post shows her rather flat chested, even as it discusses her job designing bras for women with huge boobs
scott:  you should not be looking at a woman with such lust in your eyes!!!
BernieMadoff:  Well, I’m not now, not her
palestine4ever:  You just know a flatchested broad would design a bra with, like, spikes for her more busty rivals
BernieMadoff:  Luke, instead of going from goy-jew-yoga, you should go scientology
palestine4ever:  Scott, Judaism is so yesterday.
palestine4ever:  We’re all about the solipsism of watered down Hinduism now.
BernieMadoff:  This yoga religion seems like a load of bs
palestine4ever:  Luke, I was on YouTube yesterday
palestine4ever:  I watched your videos from What Women Want
BernieMadoff:  Luke, you DO know that yoga is just a conduit for winning converts to the religions of India
FATS:  Kundalisni Yoga attracts alot of  movie stars and rock stars
BernieMadoff:  He’s even growing the beard for that
palestine4ever:  To think that the hunky guy in those videos would be growing his beard out in the same hovel it was filmed in
FATS:  Have you run into any Luke?
BernieMadoff:  Yoga shmoga
BernieMadoff:  It is boring
palestine4ever:  I used to see Kundalini pamphlets when I was looking for catholic whores at raves in the mid-1990s
palestine4ever:  I’m surprised they’re still around
scott:  yoga isnt that what people eat with fruit?
BernieMadoff:  Just when I thought Luke blogging about rabbis was boring, he takes things down another notch by blogging about his yoga classes
FATS:  Happy Healthy Holy – the three H
palestine4ever:  Israel will survive without you, Luke
BernieMadoff:  By the way – just as I said, I am NOT IN JAIL
palestine4ever:  This is your last chance to get out of this cul de sac
palestine4ever:  I like Yoga luke
palestine4ever:  He’s taking care of his personal appearance more
YourMoralLeader:  lots of chix
FATS:  NOT IN JAIL – wearing a bullet proof vest tho
palestine4ever:  His hair is trimmed
BernieMadoff:  Porn luke was better
palestine4ever:  I’m sure his undies are clean
palestine4ever:  There’s even a bit of a sparkle to the hovel
FATS:  PORN Luke – just doesn’t roll off the tongue
palestine4ever:  Yoga is giving Luke his self-respect back
BernieMadoff:  I will agree that yoga agrees with luke more than torah
palestine4ever:  The yoga people don’t judge
BernieMadoff:  "From Torah to Yoga – the Luke Ford Story"
palestine4ever:  I’m sure they’ve done far worse than his purely imaginary crimes against the shuls
palestine4ever:  Which is, anyway, just another excuse to say "Goy, get out"
BernieMadoff:  I took one yoga class once.  I just could not do the stuff and this was supposedly for rank beginners
palestine4ever:  Dude, mountain pose
palestine4ever:  You just stand there
scott:  yoga people look at you funny if you cant get your ankle behind your ear
palestine4ever:  it’s my favorite yoga move
FATS:  Kundulini Yoga has thr feel of a cult – although it is not a cult
FATS:  I like the idea of the turban they wear
BernieMadoff:  And then there’s that bikrim yoga, where women sweat out a gallon of water and get all stinky
palestine4ever:  I had a friend that went off with some hindi cult in West Virginia
scott:  ahhh the smell of woman
BernieMadoff:  The only cult worth joining are the ones that get you hot women
FATS:  I refuse to check out bikram – I don’t like the idea of sweaty
palestine4ever:  But it’s a little late for Luke to be worrying about the guru trap
palestine4ever:  I mean, he worships a talk radio host
BernieMadoff:  I once knew a woman into that.  very smelly woman
YourMoralLeader:  Can listening to a mantra CD bring me inner peace and material prosperity?
palestine4ever:  No but it sounds better if you’re really really stoned
FATS:  you should invest in a gong
BernieMadoff:  You are more apt to find inner peace via yoga than via torah
scott:  you mean bong
BernieMadoff:  Torah beats yoga
palestine4ever:  Torah is just 1001 Ways to Say "Luke Ford, GTFO"
BernieMadoff:  Plus, there is no mechitza in the classes. amirite?

YourMoralLeader:  Should I give my CFS to Wahe Guru?
palestine4ever:  I’m sure it will no longer exist once the stress of shul is removed
FATS:  That’s like trying to lose weight and trying to give pounds to other people… lol
FATS:  CFS is viral?
FATS:  You have to be good to yourself and not over do things
BernieMadoff:  You have to learn to be a man.
FATS:  Bernie – how’s the ancle bracelet
BernieMadoff:  How else will you take care of your family?
BernieMadoff:  Truth is, I bribed the guard and my dog is wearing it.
palestine4ever:  Luke, I think my chi is clogged up
BernieMadoff:  Let’s stop talking about me.  I’m the past.  Let’s talk about the future, about OBAMA
palestine4ever:  I was working on a theory that Luke is like the Soulja Boy of the LA Jewish community
BernieMadoff:  Oi, if Rabbi Mushkin could see him now he’d be thinking "I am one smart rabbi"
palestine4ever:  But then I realized that he’s more of a fiddy cent
BernieMadoff:  Luke needs a woman to shove a sausage into his mouth
FATS:  OBAMA – Well, he’s taking office during a Mercury REtrograde cycle – so astrologically he’s already off to a bad start
YourMoralLeader:  i feel cleansed
YourMoralLeader:  satnam
BernieMadoff:  Once Luke has been cleansed of his Jewish beliefs by his yogi, he will be free to return to the place he belongs:  Holly’s Home

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been noted in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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