Over the past couple of months, I have been listening to about a hundred free Underearners Anonymous lectures on this unofficial website and Dropbox account.
In lecture 68, Jeff in LA says he’s been in the program for two years. He’s a writer in his 30s.
Here are some highlights:
* I knew I was uncomfortable asking for money, but I didn’t understand the disease. In my childhood, I was wounded… In my 30s, I had a small life. I couldn’t build a career. I wasn’t able to have a relationship. I was lonely. I’ve learned that underearning is cave dwellers disease. It’s an addiction to the cave. As an under-earner, I’m scared to get out into the world with the healthy animals because I’m wounded and bleeding. I keep my life small so I don’t have to do that.
Recovery is about going into those wounds and seeing that they are a conversation that came out of childhood. My disease manifested in my life as a sapping of vitality towards my vision and an inability to take the right steps to get larger. As I got older, I saw friends getting married, friends getting promotions and I couldn’t get off the ground. I had these fears and resentments that would sap the energy in my life.
I would attract toxic bosses and dysfunctional work situations. I was always sabotaging myself…
The tools of UA don’t amount to much unless I really work the 12 Steps. Unless I can establish a spiritual foundation and look at my fears, resentments, guilt and remorse… I’ve gotten clear on my childhood wounds that keep me from taking steps towards visibility.
Before the program, my life was about looking good. How can I fix my problems? How can I get my career to a place where I feel OK. In recovery, it is the opposite. When I get scared about work or my vision, I know that is my disease and I know I need to throw myself deeper in the program.
1. Time Indifference – We put off what must be done and do not use our time to support our own vision and further our own goals.
2. Idea Deflection –We compulsively reject ideas that could expand our lives or careers, and increase our profitability.
3. Compulsive Need to Prove – Although we have demonstrated competence in our jobs or business, we are driven by a need to re-prove our worth and value.
4. Clinging to Useless Possessions – We hold onto possessions that no longer serve our needs, such as threadbare clothing or broken appliances.
5. Exertion/Exhaustion – We habitually overwork, become exhausted, then under-work or cease work completely.
6. Giving Away Our Time – We compulsively volunteer for various causes, or give away our services without charge, when there is no clear benefit.
7. Undervaluing and Under-pricing – We undervalue our abilities and services and fear asking for increases in compensation or for what the market will bear.
8. Isolation – We choose to work alone when it might serve us much better to have co-workers, associates, or employees.
9. Physical Ailments – Sometimes, out of fear of being larger or exposed, we experience physical ailments.
10. Misplaced Guilt or Shame – We feel uneasy when asking for or being given what we need or what we are owed.
11. Not Following Up – We do not follow up on opportunities, leads, or jobs that could be profitable. We begin many projects and tasks but often do not complete them.
12. Stability Boredom – We create unnecessary conflict with co-workers, supervisors and clients, generating problems that result in financial distress.
In talk 69, Mike says: Every time I chased the money problem, I got sicker. Every time I chased recovery, I made more money. There is no linear path to the money. The money comes as a result of you being a healthier human being. The problem for the under-earner is that he can’t develop intimacy with others because he is out of touch with himself and God. The program will give you tools to fix your relationship with yourself and with God.
UA has made me feel whole. I’m not scared of people anymore. I can sit with relationships.
