Walter emails: I believe I can instruct someone on how to dismantle their own narcissism. Ultimately, it’s you who’s got to do it anyway, That’s why narcs are so impossible to treat. A therapist cannot do it for you. However, at a young age, I had the insight to know what I had and I took a few steps to “self treat” myself. I believe the steps I took worked quite well. The concepts are easy. It may not be easy for a narc to follow the concepts but I got through it just fine.
I believe my narcissism was mostly rooted in genetics. My father was a narc, all four of my siblings are narcs and my only child is a narc. I believe narcissism, sociopathy and psychopathy are all one in the same. I often use these terms interchangeably. If your biologically rooted in psychopathy, that does not mean your a bad person. Most of the narcs in my family are actually good people, although they remain a bit quirky.
Step One: Tell the truth. All narcs lie. All narcs lie all the time. It’s absolutely key that you start brutal honesty with everyone. Of course, you wouldn’t tell an ugly woman she’s ugly. But just short of needlessly hurting someone’s feelings, fess up and let the cards play where they lay. There is a reason why this is key. It’s all about habits. Once you get in the habit of telling truth, it becomes increasingly hard to lie to yourself… and lying to yourself is the bedrock of narcissism. Once you start worshipping the God of truth, you will start to catch yourself in lies you are telling yourself.
We will never be completely normal. However, it is a complete myth that we have anything missing in our brains or personalities. Current research backs this up. Narcs/ Sociopath/ Psychopaths are NOT incapable of empathy. Research and common sense backs this up too. If a narc is after a girl, for example, the narc can be extremely empathetic. Ergo, there is a manual empathy switch that we can flip on anytime we like.
Step 2, practice empathy all the time. Turn that empathy switch on as if you were after a girl and never turn it off. I’ve been “practicing empathy” for over 40 years. I’ve been doing it for so long that in no longer feels alien to me. I own the empathy I practice as if it came naturally… and indeed by now it does come quite naturally. I have transformed myself into a good person. You can too…
I was born to a protestant family but have been a vocal atheist since around age 9. I believe I’ve paid a dear price for my non-conformity but “to thyn own self be true”. Religious dogma has always been a jacket ill fitting and uncomfortable. Roughly half my family are fundamentalist Christian and those folks have shunned me.
