* For the past 45 years, people have told me that my sloppiness will be my undoing.
* Friend: “You misfiled again!”
Luke: “Will you be my sponsor for Underearners Anonymous?”
Friend: “Sure, I’ll do a 5150 and have you taken to the mental ward.”
* I learn about who I am from the frequent things people say to me, such as, “Dude, that was wayyyyy to fast!”
* I just learned you can get Workers Comp for psychiatric problems!
* Do you have to have work before you can get workers comp?
* Do you ever find yourself hating whole groups of people, such as gays/trannies/blacks/Jews/Muslims/Mexicans etc and if so, what do you do with these feelings? How do you healthfully release them?
* I asked my friend to set me up. He said: “We need to duct tape your mouth and you’ll have a fighting chance.”
* I threatened my friend to dedicate my next book to his family.
* Are you also going through life on bald tires, hoping someone will take care of you?
* If I turn my will and my life over to the care of God today, at least I’ll no longer have an idiot running the show.
* A friend from the Valley says: “you were the dog’s bollocks then…now you’re a talmud hochem.”
* Some women flake on me because they need to buy a new parrot, others because they must assemble furniture from Ikea and others because this was the anniversary of the Sixth Lubavitcher Rebbe getting released from a Russian jail.
* Converting Sephardi? Is that like becoming black?
* Miriam Lilian D Or I knew an Ashkenazi man who did this. He must be happy eating meat now and rice during Pesach.
Marc Dome · 2 mutual friends
I wouldn’t even call the both of you light entertainment. You’re probably made for one another. I used to keep Sephardic halachot and didn’t eat rice. Not all Sephardim eat rice.
Miriam Lilian D Or You haven’t been following Luke’s posts long enough. The Ashkenazi to Sephardic man I was referring to was my fiance, and a fine man he is (still my friend). Once again, I get a good talking to from posting on Luke’s post, probably because satire is lost in translation. As distasteful as I am here is an interesting article. http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=537
Chaim Amalek Why do yidden eat rice? It is for the yellow ones. Hashem made wheat for real yidden to eat, like on Mt. Sinai.
Miriam Lilian D Or 5 out of 1 fiances/boyfriends dislike my commenting on Luke’s posts.
Marc Dome · 2 mutual friends
Who cares what anyone thinks, and a fine man he is! ( one for you here Luke). Thanks for the Halacha article, I like a rice story! Maybe wrong continent?!?!
Marc Dome · 2 mutual friends
I got it wrong. I thought the Ashkenazi man was Luke! Well, you’re both fine men even now and you’re a fine man too!!
* I want to thank the maid for the great job she did cleaning the kitchen but fear she’ll think I want to Governator her.
* Friend: So….who was the blonde girl you were playing with in my dream? She was resting on the floor and you were playing with her hair.
L: Can you tell me more?
Yes, long blonde hair
But, I think it was dyed blonde
She was kind of busty
I was walking by and saw the two of you in my wood cabin. She was just resting. I saw you sitting next to her, holding her hair. I didn’t see what happened next.
Well, more like caressing her hair. You had an happy look.
