I Need White House Spokeswoman Dana Perino To Put A Little More Effort Into Her Lipstick

Too often, it is uneven and it distracts me from concentrating on the important things she has to say about the economy and foreign affairs and stuff.

Also, I want her to put a little more effort into her foundation and perhaps try to cover up that mole just below her lip.

Sigh… Let’s try to remember Dana in happier times before the financial crisis distracted her from what’s truly important.

I wish I was a White House reporter who’d just asked an impertinent question and then she got all firm with me. There’s no one I’d rather have put me in my place. Oy, why couldn’t she be the one to throw me out of shul? "Levi, we can’t have this sort of behavior around here. Please put out your hand and let me smack it with this here ruler. I keep this specially for naughty bloggers. I’m afraid you’ll have to stay after shacharit and write out, ‘I will not write lashon hara’ 100 times. Then I want to study Torah with you every day after Mincha until you learn what a great sin it is to shame people, including yourself. Are you a man or are you a kangaroo? Now hop out of here."

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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