The Randy Roo

My mate had a pet kangaroo but it was sexually obsessed. It used to rub up on his GF when she put out the washing to dry and it would stand in the front yard with all the traffic whizzing by and commit the sin of Onan. So the daughters could find shiduchim, they had to ship the roo off to a baal teshuva roo yeshiva out of town that specialized in treating this type of disorder.

A couple in Tannum Sands were out for a jog a couple of years ago by Canoe Point. The husband dropped back to tie his shoelace. The wife felt these hands on her shoulder and a pelvis grinding into her. She told her hubby to knock it off. He wouldn’t. She turned around and saw it was a spry kangaroo who was attacking her. There aren’t many things more frightening than an aroused kangaroo with his will to power up.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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