A Spy Among You

When I wrote the porn industry, many pornographers were convinced that I was a spy for their enemies — law enforcement.

When I joined Judaism, a couple of Orthodox Jews said I was a spy for the goyim.

I think I engender this reaction because I am weird, cold, hard, and cynical. I have a stand-offish personality, a result of my genes and my upbringing in foster care. I am always happiest when I join the dance but it is easiest for to stand apart. I have a stronger drive for distinction than for love and when I look at the world, I seek for mis-matching rather than for matching. This does not make for a happy life but I have a mind that is always asking what’s wrong with this situation, what’s incongruous here, what is this person not telling me, what is he holding back, how is he dangerous? If I hear dissonance, my mind goes into overdrive until I figure out the notes.

* I have this personality quirk where I love to ask non-Jews how was your Yom Kippur etc and pretend in conversation with them that the whole world is Jewish. Is this a wider Jewish trait/joke or is it me? I did not do this when I was a Christian.

Chaim Amalek posts: Similarly, it is great fun to wish a Hassid “Merry Christmas” when Nittel Nacht approaches.

Nittel Nacht is the best holiday on the Jewish calendar. You get to play cards, use electronics, and you don’t have to study gemarah then and pretend that you are studying the words of God as given to Moses on Mount Sinai.

But WHY ARE THERE NO NITTEL NACHT CARDS to buy? Luke, anyone, this could be a real business opportunity for you.

Daniel: “I like asking Egyptians how their Passover Seders went.”

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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