I Didn’t Go To The Flag Raising At The Israeli Consulate Today

I hear it was a two hour lovefest.

I went instead to the West Hollywood Book Fair to brush up on the latest developments in queer lit.

I sat in on a memoir writing workshop.

There was a loud blonde tranny who wrecked the class.

I was about to leave when a tall beautiful blonde came in and sat next to me.

"Torah must wait," I decided.

After giving her mine, I got her name — Amy Karl.

I immediately Googled her on my Blackberry and discovered she was an actress. She’s finished a memoir and she’s shopping it.

Whenever I get down in the dumps, I like to feast my eyes on a beautiful woman. It revives my neshama so I can go back to absorption in the sacred text.

Here are some great photos of Amy from the 2003 Stuff magazine party for the Off-Broadway play "Pieces of Ass."

I’m real sorry I missed this theatrical production. Sometimes it is only such sublime art that can tame my savage beast.

Our teacher, Diana Raab, gave us an assignment to write two paragraphs about a turning point in our lives.

When Amy got up for an inspirational potty break, I fled to meet a social obligation (watch the Dallas Cowboys lose).

Looking back, if I had known then what I know now (having seen her "Pieces of Ass" photos on my desktop), I would’ve talked to her about the value of tzniut.

Dear Amy, if you are reading this, and I know you are, please know that I am not a stalker.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been noted in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
This entry was posted in Personal and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.