The Seraphic Secret Girls

Robert Avrech writes:

Several years ago, spotting a soft-focus Kodak moment, I whipped out my trusty Canon and focused on one of my girlses.

“No, don’t shoot me, I look horrible!”

What’s going on here, I thought to myself, am I on a film set, dealing with some high-strung movie star?

This happened again and again with Offsprings #2, #3, and Karen. In spite of the fact that all my girlses are devastatingly beautiful and always camera-ready.

But try arguing with a woman who feels less than perfect.

One day, feeling deeply frustrated when one of my girlses ordered me not to trip the shutter, I cried:

“Okay, I won’t shoot your face. Is it okay for me to shoot your, er, shoes?”

There was a long pause.

“Um, o-kaaay, I guess.”

Thus began the Avrech family portfolio of my girlses footwear. Shooting shoes has become something of a minhag, a tradition, around here.

“I’ve got a new pair of shoes, Daddy.”

“Excellent, let me get my camera.”

Snick! Snick! Snick!