When I was a kid, I had to look after my step-mom, who was a ticking time bomb.
“Parentified children don’t have a typical childhood or adolescence — they don’t rebel or skip school or act rudely to a teacher. These children are so obsessed and worried about being good and responsible that they don’t indulge in normal developmental teenage or young adult behavior. These children have a tremendous amount of self-imposed stress bout being five minutes late for school or missing one homework assignment in a semester. The reason for this extreme psychological response is the immense fear that these children have experienced on a daily basis. When they become adults, they find it very difficult to recall with much clarity the severity of fear, panic, and terror they felt when growing up… Their career tends to be governed by the need to avoid intense emotional interpersonal situations.” (The Father Factor)
Damn, does this ring true for me. I was terrified when I was little about getting hit and screamed at or emotionally cut off by my step-mom. I never skipped school, was never late, never missed an assignment. I never got to be a kid.
