The Return Of My Snake Nightmares

During 1988-1992 (for most of that time I lived with my parents in Newcastle, CA), I was afflicted by nightmares about snakes. I would have ordinary dreams and then snakes would enter into them and chase  me. I could never get away. They would bite me and kill me. And then I’d wake up.

This morning I dreamed that I was back at that home.

I called my friend from high school and asked to borrow his room (where he lived with his parents) to play cards. Then I went over to his house with the wife of a friend from shul and a male buddy. We played cards. Then we each had sex with her (using condoms). Then she asked us for a double penetration. We prepared to do this and then my misgivings overcame me and we left. It was late at night.

When my friend got home, he was ticked off. His room and bed smelt of sex. I had abused his hospitality.

I go over to his place to help him with chores around the house. I help him chop down a tree. He’s mad. "You don’t change," he says. "You pretend you’ve got straight and now you do this to me."

I walk home. On the way, I run into some poisonous snakes. I attack one of them but it fights back and chases me and bites me. Then I wake up.

Fred writes:



Surely you are aware that snakes are a phallic symbol.

AFter indulging your lusts, you are being tormented and killed by phallic symbols. This can only mean one thing. You are ravaged by guilt and fear about when you cheated on an algebra test in 7th grade. You must face and embrace your true inner self, meditate, chant, and flagilate yourself like one of those Opus Dei guys.


The sex with your female friend and a buddy refers to seven years of plentiful bonking.

The attack by the snakes refers to a seven year dry spell.

This means you should bonk as many strumpets as you can, so you will be in a better condition to face the seven year dry spell. I agree with Rhum that you should start with Bai Ling.

Bob writes: "Who, but Luke, uses condoms in their sex dreams?"


Ken writes: "He forgot to mention that he davens afterwards."

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been followed by the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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