LOS ANGELES, CA—According to witnesses, a tight-knit group of twenty five Alexander Technique teachers spent a wild afternoon in Reseda Sunday, overindulging in emotionally supportive behavior and generally validating the living heck out of each other.
Confirming the women get together at least once a month for an all-out, anything-goes session of nonjudgmental reassurances, 28-year-old Batya Cohen said the afternoon quickly turned into “a total rager,” with the friends sharing excessive amounts of inhibition, direction, admiration, empathy, and encouragement for one another.
“The entire day we just went balls out with the confidence-boosting,” Cohen said of the gathering, adding that by 6 p.m. she had already partaken in seven or eight mutual expressions of positive regard. “It was completely insane. We bolstered the heck out of Jane’s self-esteem, and by the time the darkness came, we had her shouting that the world was a huge asshole for not recognizing all her talent and giving her more students.”
“We just kept telling her how talented and beautiful she was until eventually the police had to ask us to leave,” Cohen added.
As the women moved from chair work to table work, the work exchange reportedly only grew more and more wild, with the friends telling one another whatever they needed to hear regarding callous comments made by students, teachers, AMSAT, boyfriends, deteriorating relationships with family members, pet deaths, or frustrating new haircuts.
“We’ve always been a group of friends that listens hard, and consoles even harder,” said Teri Lange, 28, who admitted that by the end of the night she had lost count of how many thoughtful, heartfelt compliments she had dished out. “Every time I turned around, left and right, there was somebody helping Karen to own the heck out of the frustration she feels toward her fiancé.”
“The girls and I just absolutely let loose with that until Karen had the strength to accept that her emotions are real whether she likes them or not, and she has to let herself feel them if she ever wants to move on,” Lange added.
Sources reported that at approximately 7 p.m., the unruly and increasingly self-accepting Alexander teachers got completely out of hand, respecting and valuing each other to the point that many had clearly had far too much validation. One member of the group reportedly felt so validated she disappeared into the bathroom for a while to cry.