Rabbs: How’s it going with the 12-step program?
Luke: “It’s like a crash course in reality. You get out of your fantasies and into reality. I’m noticing that I am slowly rewiring my brain. Without this, I look at any attractive woman in a predatory fashion. Like she’s raw meat and I’m a tiger who hasn’t eaten in 18 months. That’s how I go around life. I obsess about anything remotely sexual. By going to 12-step meetings, I learn how destructive that is for people.”
“We sexualize our anxiety. Those of us who are sex addicts try to deal with the hole in our soul through sex. If I can just get some, I’ll feel better and this underlying emptiness will go away.”
“If sex is accomplished in a way that violates your values, you’ll have a huge crash afterwards… To get away from this shame, you isolate. You figure you can’t tell anyone about what is going on with you and you figure that people will reject you if they know what you’re really like.
“With a 12-step meeting, you can go into a room where people accept you and you can reveal what’s really going on with you.”
“You’re addicted to sex, as opposed to just being an average lustful guy, if you obsess over thinking that banging women will cure the hole in your soul. You’re likely an addict if you are going around doing things that are self-destructive in your pursuit of sex.”
“If you are spending four hours a night masturbating to internet pornography, you are self-destructive.”
Rabbs: “Who are you to judge me?”
Luke: “When I had my health, when I had these anxieties, I could just run five miles and it would go away. When I had my health, I could accomplish anything. I could study for six hours straight. I could get up at 4 a.m. to do my math homework and learn calculus. I could get straight As. I could work 14 hour days. I could make a lot of money. Now I’m struggling and sometimes I want some solace, something to make the pain go away. All these frustrations I have from poverty, ill health, rejection, ostracism, failure after failure.”
“I remember having all these problems. And I had a hot girlfriend who was above me in social status. I was afraid she’d leave me at any moment. What held us together was the sex. So I would take levitra to make sure that I could really do it good. I’d take testosterone to make sure that I could really do it good.”
Rabbs: “Thirty three minutes [into the show] before he tells us about one of his sexual exploits.”
Luke: “I thought that if I could keep plooking her really good, I could keep her in my life and I could prove I was a man. All the other ways of being a man, such as earning money and protecting her and providing for her, I couldn’t do. But I can bang the bejesus out of her if I just take my levitra. And of course she was just getting really sore. And she’s like, ‘This is hurting me. Stop taking that levitra.'”
Rabbs: “Why would you even think about taking levitra?”
Luke: “Because I’m not the firmest reed in the river.”
“I stopped taking levitra but I tricked her because I kept taking these testosterone supplements.”
Rabbs: “Is there any Torah in this?”
Luke: “It’s subtle.”
Rabbs: “Do you want to tell us why you hate women?”
Luke: “Sure. I need to look at my blog.”
Rabbs: “This is just another thing that you put on your blog to repel women. Who says these things on the internet, publicly? ‘I hate women. I objectify women. I want to smell women’s clothes. I want to peak in their window when they’re dressing. Throw me the stockings and let me sniff them.’ Do you think this will get you a wife?”
Luke: “Yes. I thought maybe some of the rabbis in shuls around here would watch this on YouTube and think, I’d like to set up Levi with my daughter. He sounds like an honest guy. I want that kind of honesty like that for my daughter.”
Rabbs: “They’ll probably want a restraining order.”
Luke: “There was this one rabbi in the community. I’d davened at his shul many times. I’d studied Torah there. And when his daughter got married, I didn’t even get an invite.”
“I’d really like to marry a rabbi’s daughter. I want to send this out there. I’m honest.
“Don’t think of it as losing a daughter. Think about it as gaining a son.
“I could come to your home on Shabbos and give these divrei Torah.”
Rabbs: “You’ve got so many divrei Torahs. You could tell the story about that [homely] woman rubbing your tummy. That woman you banged outside a movie theater.”
“There’s nothing in Judaism that says you need to know my personal business. The more you look into my personal business, the less I’m going to tell you and the more I’m going to withdraw and the more I’m going to sit on my ass all day and jack-off watching granny porn.”
Luke: “I’ve worked hard in this area to be able to come back with swift responses. If you ever say something that is incongruent, people can tell. Or if you hesitate half a second too long in answering these questions, people can immediately tell there’s something wrong with you.”
Rabbs: “I tell people I go to a number of shuls. I do. The number is zero.”