Book Clubs Are For Girls

In theory, I should be hot for book clubs. I typically read several books a week. I love discussing books with smart people. I love to bond with people over books.

Yet I’ve never enjoyed a book club.

I rarely enjoy sitting with a group of people who are each expected to share their thoughts and feelings on something.

Why not?

Because most people don’t have anything smart to say.

I hate being stuck with a bunch of retards. I hate having to treat their drivel as equally valid to profound insight.

Sharing is for chicks.

Equality is a feminine value, notes Dennis Prager.

Men love hierarchy.

I want someone devastatingly smart to lead a discussion and to not let morons ruin things.

I don’t go to a lot of Torah classes because there will always be one blowhard there who’ll feel compelled ten times a class to toot his own horn to no good effect.

It only takes one shmuck to ruin things — just ask anyone who’s hosted me for a Shabbat meal.

One thing I usually don’t like about Reform and Conservative synagogues — and their chicks are usually hotter — is when everyone is asked to contribute their thoughts on the parsha (Torah portion).

I only want to hear the thoughts of those who’ve toiled with the text and come out with insights I don’t have.

The only book club I’ve enjoyed is a movie — The Jane Austen Book Club.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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