I Met This Homely Woman And She Rubbed My Tummy

This was back in 1994 before I became the Moral Leader I am today.

I met this homely woman. I think it was at a party. I think she had some hot friends.

Later, this homely woman invites me to take a walk with her one evening through the Sherman Oaks Galleria. It was fine.

Then she invited me back to her place. It was fine.

She offered to rub my back. Fine, I said. I took off my shirt and I lay down on her bed and she rubbed my back.

“Would you like me to rub your chest?” she asked.

So I rolled over and she rubbed my chest. Then she went lower.

Her rubbing my tummy led me to do things not in consonance with Torah, neither written nor oral:

She was homely but I like a massage. It may not be logical. It may not be moral. It may not be in accord with Torah, but I like to be stroked.

I don’t know why Rabbs thinks this story is about sex. It is a metaphor for why Dennis Prager attends a Reform temple. It may not be logical, but it feels good. They have groovy tunes at Stephen S. Wise. Great Israeli dancing on a Friday night. People are nice. The rabbis are smart. The musical instruments rock. What’s not to love? It’s like one long tummy rub.

Judaism does not have to be punitive.

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see Amazon.com). My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com).
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