The Perfect Dinner Party

A shiksa friend of mine hosted the perfect dinner party the other night in her Van Nuys garden.

The guests were highly accomplished, athletic, educated, never-married Jewesses in their 40s. They brought their own allergy-free food in tightly wrapped ecologically friendly tupperware. They asked for gloves before spraying down and wiping off their seats. They wore slightly revealing but classy clothing. They were ripped and tanned and their make-up was perfect. Upstairs, they were every bit as taut.

These women had everything but a man.

"I went to this Jewish singles mixer," began one. "I met this great guy. He was handsome. He was funny. He was well-read. He was charming. And then he turned out to be a pornographer. Luke Ford."

"Luke Ford!" screamed the other women. "I dated him!"

"I know him," said another.

"Luke Ford. Oh G-d. Is that what we’re left with?"

About Luke Ford

I've written five books (see My work has been covered in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and on 60 Minutes. I teach Alexander Technique in Beverly Hills (
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